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Old 07-18-2020, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Virginia
6,953 posts, read 3,388,883 times
Reputation: 17970

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Westside Mommy View Post
Sure, could be a money saving tip... good point. And those boy's dancing briefs may be overrated and not as soft or comfy as girls' bikini panties... and let's face it, some male dancers do have a feminine side and think it's a little bit fun to wear girls' underwear at age eight. It really would depend on the boy in the ballet class...

Thanks for bringing up Billy Elliot. I saw this as a play in London's West End at the famous Victoria Palace Theatre and it was amazing! The musical has a character Michael, Billy's best friend who is a cross-dresser but proud and feels good about himself. Awww, what a great message for kids... not that I think my friend's young son is a cross-dresser or even gay but he was happily wearing those bikini panties to every ballet class and
obviously feels very positive about himself. My DS is the one who is shy and needs more self-confidence but hopefully that will all come eventually.
If your son wants a positive male role model in a ballet dancer, have him look up Andre Eglevsky. He was a Russian-born, very muscular ballet dancer who choreographed the movie Limelight for Charlie Chaplin. He was also the father of my first orthopedic doctor. There's also Mikhail Baryshnikov, Rudolf Nureyev, and Vaslav Nijinsky - all very male and straight. These would all be good role models for your son if he truly likes ballet.
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Old 07-18-2020, 05:25 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
8,618 posts, read 10,477,562 times
Reputation: 13247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westside Mommy View Post
My DS is 8 and was loving the ballet class he started in September... before it was interrupted he became good friends with another boy who is quite popular at the dance class and I have become quite close with his mom too. One day, when no one else was around the dance studio she happened to blurt out that her son wears girls' underwear... he just finds the panties softer, more comfortable and perfect for when he does ballet.

I was surprised she would tell me this randomly and I just smiled. But when I got over my shock a little later, I realized that I want my son to be open-minded and open-hearted to classmates who are different. We will take a trip out to Brooklyn to visit them this week because we miss them...

I don't think it is a big deal if my son finds ballet more comfortable in panties like his friend. The boys are only 8. My DH, unfortunately, is concerned this is making him too feminine and because of some bullies in DS' class who have begun teasing him about being a boy dancer. How would you have reacted when the mom's friend told us what he wears?
This whole underwear conversation is bizarre. Not sure why all of this came up. As far as your son being in ballet it's surprising how much social groups are changing in schools these days. He might not get as much crap for being in ballet as you might think. Certainly not like 20 years ago.
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Old 07-18-2020, 05:33 PM
 
6,508 posts, read 3,605,313 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Westside Mommy View Post
How would you have reacted when the mom's friend told us what he wears?
I would have told her I only wear black and beige panties. I mean, if we are sharing what kind of panties we wear...
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Old 07-18-2020, 05:38 PM
 
3,587 posts, read 1,263,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Westside Mommy View Post
Sure, could be a money saving tip... good point. And those boy's dancing briefs may be overrated and not as soft or comfy as girls' bikini panties... and let's face it, some male dancers do have a feminine side and think it's a little bit fun to wear girls' underwear at age eight. It really would depend on the boy in the ballet class...
Or, some kids think it's just fun to wear whatever at age eight, without worrying that a certain article of clothing is only "supposed" to be worn by a certain gender. I mean, a boy only knows something is "girls' clothing" if he's told that by society, and he only knows he shouldn't like it if he's told that by society.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I've never seen any guy under 16 wear boxers. They all wore guys' briefs. You know, "tighty whiteys". Boxers under dance tights would look ridiculous.
And I don't know about males, but females don't generally wear anything at all under their tights/leotards.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I would not say the worry is needless, and it's not smart to dismiss your husband's concern like that.

Having concerns doesn't make someone close-minded. He probably doesn't want his son to be exposed to the inevitable negative reactions. He knows "how boys are" better than you do.
But she didn't say he worried about how the kid would be treated. He worried about "the feminization of {our} son." Two different things.
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Old 07-18-2020, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,442,717 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post

But she didn't say he worried about how the kid would be treated. He worried about "the feminization of {our} son." Two different things.
Not necessarily. So-called "feminization" can include outside influences, such as peer reactions.

Either way, I always get super skeeved when a first-time poster comes here to post about children in panties. Whether people want to admit it or not, the whole thing is weird.
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Old 07-18-2020, 07:26 PM
 
2,249 posts, read 862,027 times
Reputation: 7230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove View Post
If your son wants a positive male role model in a ballet dancer, have him look up Andre Eglevsky. He was a Russian-born, very muscular ballet dancer who choreographed the movie Limelight for Charlie Chaplin. He was also the father of my first orthopedic doctor. There's also Mikhail Baryshnikov, Rudolf Nureyev, and Vaslav Nijinsky - all very male and straight. These would all be good role models for your son if he truly likes ballet.
Surely you jest?

Baryshnikov was married but word on the street was that he switch hit.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Old 07-18-2020, 07:39 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,836 posts, read 81,589,805 times
Reputation: 91684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westside Mommy View Post
Thank you, ContraPagan... you are right ballet is a great sport for boys and no one will see what my son and his friend wear under their shorts... it's just the kind of thing that really bothers a Daddy, I guess!
It's not only a challenging sport, it's art! That's pretty cool.Does your hubby think Baryshnikov is too feminine?

This kind of thing is so crazy. I know a couple in Russia, who took their youngest son to see ballet talent scouts when he was small, because he was always leaping and bouncing around the apartment. A group from the Moscow ballet came to their distant region, so they decided to get their child evaluated. The scouts said, the boy has a rare gift, and they wanted to take him with them back to Moscow, so he could be raised and educated in the best training system. The parents decided against it, because they didn't want him to live in a boarding school; they wanted him to experience growing up with his siblings and parents around.

But it never crossed their mind, that ballet wasn't appropriate for boys. Nobody over there thinks that way. It's very prestigious to be chosen for a ballet school. And Russia, btw, is the country that's hysterically anti-gay. Yet it's the Americans who think ballet is wussy. Go figure! Maybe it's the cowboy culture thing, still lingering in some people's subconscious.
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Old 07-18-2020, 07:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,836 posts, read 81,589,805 times
Reputation: 91684
Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaIamela View Post
Surely you jest?

Baryshnikov was married but word on the street was that he switch hit.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I hadn't heard that about Baryshnikov, but Nureyev was bi.
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Old 07-18-2020, 08:55 PM
 
512 posts, read 138,611 times
Reputation: 757
How do boys get into ballet, anyway? My daughter is doing ballet class remotely because of coronavirus, and her brother has been joining her out of boredom. He's pretty good I kind of want to sign him up, and I imagine there's less competition for boys in ballet so he could have his pick of roles... The only things stopping me are (1) there is only one boy in the school and he's in the older group, so my kid would be the odd one out, and (2) I just don't know if we have the time for another extracurricular thing.

Last edited by GGG2020; 07-18-2020 at 10:19 PM..
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Old 07-18-2020, 09:02 PM
 
3,587 posts, read 1,263,587 times
Reputation: 9264
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Not necessarily. So-called "feminization" can include outside influences, such as peer reactions.

Either way, I always get super skeeved when a first-time poster comes here to post about children in panties. Whether people want to admit it or not, the whole thing is weird.
Most people I know of who talk about "feminization" of something mean it's made "girly." (Usually also used as a pejorative.)

Per dictionary.com:

feminize
[ fem-uh-nahyz ]
verb (used with or without object), fem·i·nized, fem·i·niz·ing.
to make or become feminine.


(I see a lot of first posts that make me say, "You made an account for this? You chose City-Data out of the whole internet to ask this question?")
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