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Right! And not just OP. The parents were totally okay with having the older kids live at home rent and worry free. Of course that's because they're good responsible kids...they have jobs, money, and are willing to help out at the family business. Notice how these all benefit the parents just as much as the children. They claim the culture values children so why not value and love your obviously upset and depressed youngest son. It's 2021 and in Canada; help is and has been available for years...I don't see what was stopping them from getting him help especially after the issues at school?
Here's the deal. The older kids were/are easy and basically take care of themselves. No brain power to deal with them and plenty of perks going back to the parents. This other kid is different and the parents refuse to adapt their parenting (or lack of) for the odd one out. So he suffers for not being a carbon copy of his siblings yet isn't given any support for what makes him different.
This isn't unusual for the youngest of many families but especially true for immigrants and those of a culturally specific background.
OP said he would refuse help as he doesn't think anything is wrong with himself. You can't force an adult to get help. He's not a kid.
I have a friend who is in her 70s, has been divorced for many years (on good terms with ex) and one of her sons, who is in his 40s, lives with her. She rents a two-bedroom apartment and never talks about him so he probably doesn't work. It doesn't sound ideal but maybe they are both just doing the best they can.
Some adult "kids" just don't launch and this is not a unique problem. I'd suggest doing more research and perhaps finding a support group for mom and dad, if they want it. If they truly want him out, they will need to find the strength from somewhere and get guidance on how best to proceed.
Just writing again to give an update. Thanks for all the replies.
In summary (after what eventually turned into several public breakdowns and violent acts to where the authorities had to be called on him), it turned out that he had a serious case schizophrenia the whole time, and because it was untreated, it had just gotten worse and worse for him. His cellphone was even full of highly delusional notes to 'demons' and more. In short, it was a total nightmare for everyone, all of it, but finally, after mandatory hospitalizations and mandatory medication, today he is stable, normal, sweet, and basically an angel of a brother just like how I remember him as a kid. Now that his mind is so much more clear, he's 100% willingly recovering with medication and is fully cooperative. He doesn't recall a single negative episode or incident from the past, it's like his mind was in a complete fog.
I honestly thought I had lost him for good by the time I was typing up this original thread and just thought he had become a terrible person. I didn't for a second believe it could truly be all because of a mental health problem, and so reading some of these replies was quite shocking at the time. But in the end, it was the truth. Thank you, everyone.
Just writing again to give an update. Thanks for all the replies.
In summary (after what eventually turned into several public breakdowns and violent acts to where the authorities had to be called on him), it turned out that he had a serious case schizophrenia the whole time, and because it was untreated, it had just gotten worse and worse for him. His cellphone was even full of highly delusional notes to 'demons' and more. In short, it was a total nightmare for everyone, all of it, but finally, after mandatory hospitalizations and mandatory medication, today he is stable, normal, sweet, and basically an angel of a brother just like how I remember him as a kid. Now that his mind is so much more clear, he's 100% willingly recovering with medication and is fully cooperative. He doesn't recall a single negative episode or incident from the past, it's like his mind was in a complete fog.
I honestly thought I had lost him for good by the time I was typing up this original thread and just thought he had become a terrible person. I didn't for a second believe it could truly be all because of a mental health problem, and so reading some of these replies was quite shocking at the time. But in the end, it was the truth. Thank you, everyone.
Thanks so much for coming back to update. I'm glad your brother is diagnosed and functioning with medications. Hopefully he will stay on the medications but it's very possible he will feel better, decide he doesn't need them any more. I've seen that happen. Have a game plan on who you need to call in order to get him admitted to get back on meds.
Thanks so much for coming back to update. I'm glad your brother is diagnosed and functioning with medications. Hopefully he will stay on the medications but it's very possible he will feel better, decide he doesn't need them any more. I've seen that happen. Have a game plan on who you need to call in order to get him admitted to get back on meds.
There are some excellent second generation antipsychotics that can be very effective as long as they are taken and will allow an individual to resume a normal life...yes, a normal life. College, full-time demanding job, travel, dating, etc.
Anosognosia is an additional condition that frequently accompanies Bipolar, Schizoaffective and Schizophrenia in 40-50% of cases and is the number one reason people don't seek treatment or they do not stay on their medication long enough for it to reduce and eliminate symptoms. Sometimes medication can take as long as 6-7 months to get it under control.
If at all possible... try and obtain a legal backup plan in the event the medication stops working or because the individual goes off the oral medication. There is an excellent monthly shot that helps reduce the risk of someone stopping oral medication.
Once again... Good Luck to all.
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Wow!
