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OP, you have had to step in to a hard and unexpected place, good on you for taking on the challenge of raising a teenager when you weren't planning to.
In general you should probably proceed by assuming that he does not yet know many "life skills" things you might think of as basic, especially if things have been difficult with his mom. A lot of conflict between adults and teenagers comes from expectations on the part of the adult that are out of step with the knowledge or ability of the teenager. You don't want to baby him, but proceed as if he knows next to nothing and then figure out how to pass those skills on.
Can you get him involved in any of the food planning for the week? I have two boys who are 18 and 14 and we make them cook one meal a week, with our help. We all need to eat, every member of a household over 13/14 should be able to put a simple meal on the table. They can either choose stuff they like (within reason) and we'll buy what's needed to make it or I'll suggest simple stuff from what we already have like spaghetti, steak on the grill, or a grain bowl with protein. It would ease the pressure on you, make him a bit more mindful of how food and meals materialize in the household and more appreciative of the effort made by others to put food on the table, impart a sense of competence and set him up to be able to look after himself when he's on his own, and to be a good roommate or partner who can contribute equally. Teaching them the recipe and waiting for it to cook also provides a really good, low-key opportunity to just chew the fat a little and find out what's going on for them and what's on their mind.
One last piece of advice, feed the behavior you want by making a big deal out of it. He takes his dirty washing to the laundry without being asked to? Talk it up. Clears dirty dishes out of his room? Woo-hoo!! Hangs up damp towels? Big claps. It's become a bit of a corny joke in our house now, appropriately met with eyerolls, but that positive feedback loop still really does work, when they see that you notice, it's motivating to keep it up. We all just want to be seen.
A pound of turkey is not the hill I would choose to die on.
I feel like this is also being leveled at the kid a bit unfairly because he's the stepkid, not your biological child. My mom sure never got mad at me for eating. She was like, oh gosh, are you hungry? I'll pick up more of that at the store.
I feel for you OP! Parenting your bio-teenager is tough enough, let alone your step kid. With that’s said, teenagers eat a lot, especially boys, and yes, they’re clueless. Just tell him, “I like to have some turkey for my lunch, so would you leave some for me next time please?” . Also, since he works next to the market, give him the chore of grocery shopping so you don’t have to drive 20’ each way. Give him a list, and yes, but buy more turkey next time. Let him eat whatever unless they’re junk foods or sugar stuffs (still can have some, but in limited amount, good for his health). You said he’s a good kid otherwise. That’s a blessing already.
If he's never had it pointed out to him before, then yes you will need to say something, or put it in separate plastic bags with names on it. I would just buy extra and put it in the freezer, or cook a turkey breast and make a bowl of turkey salad.
If this is the worst thing, or most annoying thing the kid does, be grateful. If you are on a budget and can't afford to feed him a pound of turkey, then you need to gently explain that it's a financial issue.
I feel like communication is key, really, in any relationship. Sure, common sense is common sense, but a lot of teens have none. He probably wasn’t thinking when he ate the entire pound of turkey. I’m sure he’s aware now.
Just talk with him, tell him you aren’t mad, you were just kinda taken aback that he ate all of it and expects you to run and get some more.
Best of luck, dawg. You’ll get through it. As someone else suggested, humor can help, too.
Labels: Eat This And Die A Slow Painful Death. I know where you sleep
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You're right ... but my point is, does a 17 year old really need to be told he has to share?
On the one hand, no, but OTOH, knowing teens eat like bears, one would think you'd know to buy extra of most things. It sounds like y ou calculate your purchases pretty closely down to how much will be consumed per each meal, without much extra for anyone in the family for snacking.
If you need him to buy his own food for snacks, because you're on a family tight budget, you need to let him know. It doesn't sound like there are open lines of communication between teen and parents. Use your words, but ideally, that would be done preemptively, rather than after a problem arises.
Just wait until you get used to buying 2lbs of turkey, and he randomly stops eating turkey and it goes bad on you. lol
My family did that to me all.the.time. One month they were yogurt fiends, the next month I'm having to eat some with every meal as it goes way past it's "best before" date, because no one else is! And the only explanation I ever got was "I dunno, I just don't feel like it". Argh.
Not really. I just inherited a teen overnight one night 2 years ago so I'm a bit lost as to how to parent one ... especially a boy.
....
I'm just not used to this so I find myself sometimes maybe getting annoyed @ things that are really just 'normal' for teens.
The teen sounds normal.
The adult.. well, let's just say that in an Italian family that had no money problems, one pound of turkey would have made NO difference to the food plan.
Because the food plan was simply to have LOTS OF FOOD!
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