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I maintain that eleven-years-old is ABSOLUTELY too young for any sexual contact involving another person. This is a fifth grader, for goodness sake! He's not even in middle school yet.
I agree that it is possible that this is a young boy in the throes of early sexual development with too much information and too little guidance. Regardless, I think it very important that he have a medical check-up. He needs to be checked for STDs.
It is also possible that this child has been the victim of child-on-child sexual abuse. A physician who suspects this is the case would make a mental health referral, which I think should be pursued if there is cause for concern.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 01-04-2010 at 08:40 AM..
I thought most of Germany was Lutheran... OK, I looked it up. According to wiki, Germany is predominantly Lutheran. It also doesn't list Germany as having Catholicism as the state religion.
I guess you can pick one of a few churches to have your tax money go to. Interesting.
"The German constitution guarantees freedom of faith and religion. It also states that no one may be discriminated against due to their faith or religious opinions. Unlike some other countries, cooperation between the state and religious communities is entirely in keeping with the German constitution. Religious communities that are of considerable size and stability and are loyal to the constitution can be recognised as "statutory corporations". This gives them certain privileges, for example being able to give religious instruction in state schools (in most states except of Berlin and Bremen) and having membership fees collected by the German Finanzamt (the German equivalent of the US Internal Revenue Service) or by themselves. Such Church tax is levied if a person lists a religion on their tax form or is listed as member in the population registry. It is a surcharge amounting to between 8 or 9% of the income tax. The status mainly applies to the Roman Catholic Church, the mainline Protestant EKD, and Jewish communities. There have been numerous discussions of allowing other religious groups like Jehovah's Witnesses and Muslims into this system as well. The Muslim efforts were hampered by the Muslims' own disorganised state in Germany, with many small rivalling organisations and no central leadership, which does not fit well into a legal frame that was originally created with well-organised, large Christian churches in mind."
Do you have the option to not chose a church? What if you're an athiest? Obviously I find this interesting too.
Do you have the option to not chose a church? What if you're an athiest? Obviously I find this interesting too.
check out the wiki links. I sort of just skimmed them. I thought I had heard that contributing to the Lutheran church was mandatory, but I guess that was incorrect. Maybe the German poster will come back and tell us.
The OP and his wife handled this situation very well. Especially for this "PC" day and age.
Buburuza13 is one I am glad was not my parent. And she is from Europe!!?? I remember being 11 years old and growing up and "discovering". I lived in Spain at the time. Not an easy time in life. I'm 50 now but remember those days very well. As the OP said, "caught their 11 year old expiermenting". Part of life. It happens to all of us at some point. That is a natural growing up phase. The kid does not need therapy. Some of the posters do!!
Amen! I thank God we never had some of these harpies around when I was a kid, and I don't even believe in God, lol.
I have read this entire thread and it is an interesting issue.
The one thing that strikes me is the confusion the OP seems to have between making a child ashamed (which I would not want to do) and teaching a child boundaries (which is absolutely necessary). I do not think it is necessary to shame a child about masturbation. However, a child does need to understand what is acceptable sexual behavior and what is not. This is something that needs to be taught and it absolutely can be taught without shame.
The OP should also be aware that people's reaction to kids is different today that it was when many of us were growing up. When I was growing up I had a 19 year old boyfriend at age 16. My parents weren't thrilled but they dealt with the issue. It would NEVER have occurred to my father that he could have my 19 year old boyfriend prosecuted for any sort of sex crime although it was certainly against the law for a 16 and 19 year old to make out. Today people have no problems with slapping that young man with a sex offender status and ruining the rest of his life. The OP's son is no different. He could be labelled a sex offender at a young age simply because his parents are unwilling to teach him the difference between shame and boundaries.
I doubt this is what the OP intends. He seems like a pretty concerned parent. I hope he reads the rest of the thread even if he does not respond.
For the record, I would've excused myself, shut the door, and that would've been the end of the story.
There is nothing wrong with kids exploring their bodies, singly or in tandem. Nothing.
There is nothing wrong with a child exploring his own body at age eleven. Exploring someone else's body is an entirely different situation, and I'm shocked that some of you think that it is perfectly okay.
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