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A thought from someone who was in a somewhat similar position to the girl you want to marry (Full time job but with high credit card debt)...When I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend I worked my butt off to eliminate all my debt. I did not want to ''give'' him my problems and I wanted to start our married life as best as possible.
Why don't you two become problem solvers instead of problem makers? She gets a job, she pays off her debt, then get married and start fresh. Honestly, she sounds like an irresponsible person and your bailing her out or trying to weasel out of her debts, is not the answer. She made the debt, she needs to pay it. Trust me, the way she operates is not going to go away just because you attempt to manage her spending, you will end up in debt, unless she grows up and understands that life is not a free ride.
I have a good income, no debt, and excellent credit. She has bad credit, credit card and a student loan from an attempt at college. We're never using her credit ever again. Would anything bad happen if we just ignored her debt(mostly student loans) if all the assets were in my name and the liabilities were in her name only?
She's planning on just staying home and having a kid so she wouldn't have any source of income that could be garnished or intercepted and we have agreed that I would be responsible for the finances since I have a history of financial and career responsibility.
You guys haven't thought of it enough.
Assuming your income is high? There is a reason you don't see a long of single parent working households anymore, a kid is expensive.
As others have pointed out, anything happens to you, she's going out on the streets if you don't address her debts. They're only going to grow.
Why don't you two become problem solvers instead of problem makers? She gets a job, she pays off her debt, then get married and start fresh. Honestly, she sounds like an irresponsible person and your bailing her out or trying to weasel out of her debts, is not the answer. She made the debt, she needs to pay it. Trust me, the way she operates is not going to go away just because you attempt to manage her spending, you will end up in debt, unless she grows up and understands that life is not a free ride.
So far its been a little more than a year so I have to give her some credit and yes we do sit down and plan our financial goals.
In a way I thought up of the idea to use my credit to ditch her old debts to give her a clean slate.
The first part is good. What is so terrible about you both working to pay down the debt? How much debt are we talking about here? I think you're going to put more effort into trying to get out of paying it (and not paying them will come back to haunt you both down the line one way or another) than if you both just came up with a plan to pay it off.
I like what stoymonkey said about working her butt off to pay off her debts because she didn't want to burden her boyfriend with it. That is how married couples should think...at least the ones who want to stay married. The ones who look for the easy way out will find out the "easy" way and the mindset that flows from it actually makes life harder in the long run (that is, if they ever take the time to step back and learn....some people never do).
My wife was not nearly as bad off as your soon to be one sounds...but she was irresponsible with credit cards in her early 20s, racked up some of those revolving debts and amassed some pretty massive student loans due to lack of knowledge and lack of educating herself about how interest compounds and what capitalization is. That said, we've been together a while since these initial mistakes and when we got married, we made a decision (I helped quite a bit). Without grudges, I would help her knock off her $60k student loans with a portion of the income I was paid. We combined finances and she made larger payments than she could have on her own and we knocked it out. She's since learned from those mistakes, has access to all credit , including credit I built up prior to us getting married.
You need to plan, way, way better. This "staying home and having a kid" business isn't cheap either. Someone brought up the fact that - what if you die? Your kid is going to end up destitute. You cant leave her any money that wouldn't be first applied to those loans - which continue to accumulate interest. Your plan is cockamammy at the least, and trollish at best.
What are you going to do about the next 5-15 years of debt collectors calling and coming to your house? Either get her to get employed or rethink your entire plan.
I won't get into what happens when your kid grows up and your wife has no skills and cant be employed.
You do realize that people don't change after they are married? You are signing up for a marriage of financial mismanagement and stress. She should get her act together and take responsibility (essentially grow up) before getting married.
Why don't you two become problem solvers instead of problem makers? She gets a job, she pays off her debt, then get married and start fresh. Honestly, she sounds like an irresponsible person and your bailing her out or trying to weasel out of her debts, is not the answer. She made the debt, she needs to pay it. Trust me, the way she operates is not going to go away just because you attempt to manage her spending, you will end up in debt, unless she grows up and understands that life is not a free ride.
I agree with this. When you marry somebody you become a team, approaching life's problems and complications together. What you are looking at setting up is a dictatorship where you are in control. I don't think ignoring this problem and then you taking control is a good way to start your future together. This is life's first big curve ball, and you want to take it on together, not bail her out and then take away any responsibility from her in the future. You aren't her father, you are her husband. I think if she were to get a job and you guys were to pay this off together, even if you are paying most of it, you would really feel like you had accomplished something together, and it will be something that bonds you going forward. You ignoring this and then taking control of the finances is likely to build resentment in the future when she has to come to you every time she wants to make a purchase or you have to scold her when she misbehaves with money.
I agree with this. When you marry somebody you become a team, approaching life's problems and complications together. What you are looking at setting up is a dictatorship where you are in control. I don't think ignoring this problem and then you taking control is a good way to start your future together. This is life's first big curve ball, and you want to take it on together, not bail her out and then take away any responsibility from her in the future. You aren't her father, you are her husband. I think if she were to get a job and you guys were to pay this off together, even if you are paying most of it, you would really feel like you had accomplished something together, and it will be something that bonds you going forward. You ignoring this and then taking control of the finances is likely to build resentment in the future when she has to come to you every time she wants to make a purchase or you have to scold her when she misbehaves with money.
I have a good income, no debt, and excellent credit. She has bad credit, credit card and a student loan from an attempt at college. We're never using her credit ever again. Would anything bad happen if we just ignored her debt(mostly student loans) if all the assets were in my name and the liabilities were in her name only?
She's planning on just staying home and having a kid so she wouldn't have any source of income that could be garnished or intercepted and we have agreed that I would be responsible for the finances since I have a history of financial and career responsibility.
This is a terrible idea.
She is in for years of harassing calls, lawsuits, and judgments. Also, the student loan debt is not going to go away. It has to be paid.
I don't know how much she owes on credit cards, but if she can't pay it, she needs to declare bankruptcy. Then she needs to figure out a way to pay the student loans.
How much does she owe on credit cards, and how much does she owe on student loans? Is she working?
Her terrible credit will affect her in many ways, especially if she makes no effort to pay it off. Even bankruptcy is better than letting it slide. She might not be able to get a job, she won't be able to get a mortgage, etc.
I used to have very bad credit and I did not marry my husband until it was straightened out. I didn't want him to have to pay for my stupidity.
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