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The OP was asking about financial implications regarding his future wife...
Who you choose to marry (and under what circumstances) is often the single largest factor
in both your future happiness but also your future financial success.
Why would you want to marry someone with such a stunning lack of ambition? "Stay home and have a kid?" Without a job, how can she pay off her debts?
She needs a way to make money using her brains and education. She is an adult, after all.
"Stay home and have a kid." good god.
^
"Stunning lack of ambition" made me smile.
06-09-2013, 08:15 PM
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n/a posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow
True story: A woman I know married a guy whose credit was bad. A student loan in default, college refused to release his transcripts, past bankruptcy, a minimal wage job, and owed back taxes which were being garnished from his paychecks. Her credit was unblemished, money in the bank, had credit to spare, and a well-paid job.
They married in California, which, like most states, is a community-property state. Shortly after they wed, they were notified by the IRS that since all income was now joint income, the woman's high paycheck would also be garnished to help pay her new husband's back taxes. Fearing for her job, she raided her savings and paid off the entire arrearage at once, which was $7,000. She also could not get any credit cards in her husband's name without submitting his credit report. She was later told that her husband's poor credit rating would be taken into account for mortgage purposes if they wanted his name on the house. It was a big mess that took years to resolve.
This.
It will bite you. Even something as simple as getting apartment will be more difficult and possibly more expensive, as deposits are frequently tied to credit and rental history. If her credit is crap, be prepared to fork over a deposit that's two or three times higher than it would otherwise be.
Total unwillingness to work and take responsibility is also going to severe hamper your ability to save for retirement, home down payment, etc.
If the OP really wants to marry this girl, she needs to demonstrate that she can take responsibility for her own life. No one wants to be married to child.
Quote:
You will grow frustrated with her financial irresponsibility and attitude of entitlement, and she will feel that you are cheap, selfish, and have a superior attitude.
Exactly. I've played this game before. Frustrated with the other person's refusal to grow up and take responsibility, while they're angry at me for not being as irresponsible as they were.
Honestly, the replies in this thread are ridiculous and full of assumptions. People make mistakes when they are young. It happens. As for staying home with the kid, millions of young wives do that, so how do you all know that the only reason why she wants to do that is to avoid her debts? Same goes for the people who are saying she wants to marry you to ditch her debts. I'm sorry, but that's absurd too. They've been together since high school. How do you know she doesn't want to marry him because she loves him?
She's upfront about the money that she owes. If you love her and want to marry her, have a financial plan that will cover your living expenses and her debt payments. Don't accumulate anymore debt and slowly pay off hers (together if you both work or alone if she stays home with the child) but be ready to accept this responsibility as something you share. People have debts and financial problems all the time. Slowly pay it off..it's not that big a deal.
Also...people's personalities don't change but their maturity levels do. Someone who ran into financial trouble or was irresponsible with their money when young can absolutely learn how to be financially responsible. It's all about understanding the consequences of poor decisions (so you don't make them again) and learning money management skills (that many young people simply don't have).
So I am in a simliar situation to the first guy, except my girl has a job, income, and it's all emergency medical debt of about 30grand. So she could work for like 5 years to pay off an inordinate medical bill (which she had no choice over, and is INSANE considering they didnt find out what was wrong and just dicharged her with crazy levels of debt)
We're thinking about her filing for bankruptcy, eliminating her debt (its 90% medical/5% dental/5% an old cable bill that an ex stuck her with like 5-7 years ago) so no student loans or credit card debt. seems like EVERYONE just says 'pay down the debt responsibly' but she didnt Moderator cut: inappropriate language to get that debt, she got screwed over by a hospital. We want to get married mainly for insurance reasons, but nobody seemed to look at my other posting so I'm at a loss for answers...
But only got one jerk to reply, the other sent me here.
But I'd really like to know what the best course of action is to clean the slate and eventually restore her credit (not that I'm the type to BUY a house, especially shackling myself with a hefty monthly payment that eventually could be worth way less than I paid, IE: housing bubble. which seems like it will happen again.)
If it was the hospital that screwed her over, why not pay off the dental and cable (assuming they did not screw her over) and then declare bankruptcy on the medical?
If you are just a renter, not planning to buy any time soon, you could probably just put yourself as the leasee so her credit does not get viewed.
Is there any chance that hospital debt could get settled or disputed?
Seems like it would make sense to have her declare bankruptcy before you get married also (???)
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