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I think everybody is telling you what bad idea is what you are trying to do.
Listen to those who gave you great advice. Some even were in similar situation like yours. How about trying her to be in a small payment plan based on her work? May be working whatever she can get now. If she is in a small, hopefully, monthly payment plan that doesn't hurt the family a lot, then that would be great. Small payments doesn't hurt you but will be a reminder for her not to go back to her "old" self.
I know it is tough when you are in love with somebody that you know from High School and want to have family. But get the worst scenario and see what comes out of it. Did you actually try to get a small payment plan? If you get that in writing from the creditors, it may save you the uncertainty once you guys are married.
So is your plan for her to have to ask you for money, give you an accounting of every cent she spends, be put on an allowance? How is this going to teach her good financial habits? In the long run you will be doing her a dis service by bailing her out and trying to let her get away with irresponsible habits.
What is the hurry? Live together to minimize expenses. She should get a job and pay her bills. In the long run - and you must think about your future- this is the better plan than getting married and trying to figure out how to dodge bill collectors.
I have a good income, no debt, and excellent credit. She has bad credit, credit card and a student loan from an attempt at college. We're never using her credit ever again. Would anything bad happen if we just ignored her debt(mostly student loans) if all the assets were in my name and the liabilities were in her name only?
She's planning on just staying home and having a kid so she wouldn't have any source of income that could be garnished or intercepted and we have agreed that I would be responsible for the finances since I have a history of financial and career responsibility.
HUGE MISTAKE. SHE incurred the DEBT SHE should pay it off and YES you CAN become liable for HER DEBT under various circumstances.
Personally I would NOT marry anyone who had this sort of debt and is wanting to get married "to get out of the debt, had a kid, and not pay off their own voluntary debt".
No reason you cannot get married AFTER she has paid off her debt. With you being the exact opposite when it comes to finances and how to handle money you are going to have serious problems unless she gets on the same page as you OR you go bankrupt, whichever happens first.
Debt should never interfere with love. If you love a person, then her problems are your problems. You take them on like Jesus Christ took the problems of the world on his shoulders. That is what love is about!
HA.......one does NOT have anything to do with the OTHER..........DEBT is DEBT........LOVE is LOVE and the two should never be mixed when one of those "in love" is a financial train wreck who wants to weasel out of their financial responsibilities by getting married.
HA.......one does NOT have anything to do with the OTHER..........DEBT is DEBT........LOVE is LOVE and the two should never be mixed when one of those "in love" is a financial train wreck who wants to weasel out of their financial responsibilities by getting married.
Agreed. Love is only a starting point. It's not enough reason, all by itself, to marry someone. It took me until I was 35 to learn this. If one can learn this in their early 20s before they marry someone, they'll save themselves and other people a lot of time and heartache.
This sounds more like a Relationship forum problem.
People rarely change. It's not impossible, but it's extremely rare. So far her track record is extremely poor money management, horrible credit, student loans and no degree if I understand correctly, now she wants to dump all of her financial problems on you and just be SAHM. I'm sorry, but if I were you I'd run away as fast as I could.
How much debt are we talking about? And how long before you get married? And what's she going to do with her time until the kid comes along that she's going to stay home and raise?
What I'm getting at is that if you are willing and able to pay all of your household expenses, maybe she should get a job and put all of her income toward paying off her debt. It might be rough for a year or so, but even if you aren't held responsible for her debts you will still have the headache of dealing with collection attempts for the rest of your lives.
One other thing to consider, yes you can buy a home, car, etc and have the loan in your name only. But do you plan to not put her name on the title to anything? If you don't it can cause problems for her if anything happens to you, and if you do the creditors will be able to go after your major assets.
Seriously, one way or the other if you don't clean this mess up it's going to cause problems down the line.
Why would you want to marry someone with such a stunning lack of ambition? "Stay home and have a kid?" Without a job, how can she pay off her debts?
She needs a way to make money using her brains and education. She is an adult, after all.
"Stay home and have a kid." good god.
To "ditch her old debts"? Do you think they just magically disappear? Unethical to say the least.
I don't really understand what he meant my that comment. I took it to mean that he would use his credit to get a card or take out a personal loan to pay off her debts. If that's it then it's a better plan then just ignoring her debts, but I still think it would be better for her to just get a job and focus on paying them off. "You can't borrow your way out of debt" as one of the gurus says.
I'm not sure what else he could be talking about.
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