I am turning into a misanthrope. Any solution? (religion, morality, humans)

[Principally Peter]

I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...

Miserable.

I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.

I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.

I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.

I fear I am turning into Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood". Here's what Dan has to say about life (copied from IMDb):

Plainview: Are you an angry man, Henry?
Henry Brands: About what?
Plainview: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
Henry Brands: I don't think so. No.
Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands: What will you do about your boy?
Plainview: I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands: Where is his mother?
Plainview: I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]

I saw this movie, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm sympathizing with the villain!" What to do? Am I just cluing in to the human condition, after years of idealistic brainwashing (by myself and others)?

[MrMinneapolis]

lighten up bro and stop being so judgemental, you have an elitist attitude because you are more educated and have a different perspective on things. accept people as people and for who they are, try to be a better man everyday and project positivity to the world. just because you are an athiest and many people arent doesnt mean jacksh1t. you arent your beliefs and as long as you dont shove them down peoples throat they will understand and accept where you are coming from and you must do likewise.

btw are you getting laid? Lack of poonani has been known to drive the sanest of men to the brinks of insanity.

[1984vt]

Hang in there. Life will come in and knock you around a bit then you learn to appreciate the gifts you have and that other people cope with the gifts they have differently.

[B4U]

You need to volunteer some charity time, guy. See how the real world is. Go work a couple/4 hours in a soup kitchen on a sunday or something. You'll get an education you get for free.
All your book learning means squat if you can't get along/empathize with your fellow man.

[GloryB]

My greatest joy comes from my belief in God and my wonderful goofy family.
Maybe you should rethink how you are looking at things.

[Fontucky]

Originally Posted by Principally Peter

I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people.

A huge gulf you allow to open up. I'm an atheist as well, yet many of my closest friends are church-every-Sunday Christians. Why is this? We allow each other to have our own beliefs and respect the fact that we have these beliefs. And, most importantly, we never discuss religion or the lack of it.

Originally Posted by Principally Peter

My beliefs have led me to no end of grief...

Once again, you allow this to happen.

You could benefit from a slice or two of humble pie on a regular basis.

[yellfire]

I guess I'll step out on a limb from the previous posters and tell you that I've been where you are. It sometimes happens, especially to people who are analytical AND sensitive at the same time. I'm not going to suggest you volunteer, or seek religion, or sex, or whatever. Experience what you're feeling. Let me ask you:
Do you feel like other people don't get it? Like so many of Americans are still just consuming and fearing, consuming and fearing... You're young to have as much education as you do. It's likely that your family and friends don't share your worldview. I found myself in the same situation almost ten years ago. I too am an atheist, and a buddhist. (They're not mutually exclusive). I fear for mankind. I think we're devolving as a species.
I became very depressed, and obsessed with death. Not my own, just the process, the finality. Then I realized what i was looking for was authenticity. I needed to be around people who were real. I make a lot of money. I had a lot of stuff. I got tired of the "mine is bigger than yours" mentality (although I'm a woman, so it was more about the new Birkin bag, or Patek watch, whatever). I started to demand authenticity from myself and then from everyone around me. If you can't be real, don't bother. I want to talk to people about real things, love and hope and fear and ethics and what it is to be human. I've become a lot simpler. A lot happier.
I still fear that we are destroying ourselves as a species. "What yonder beast, slouches toward Bethlehem, waiting to be born?" Hang in there. Find some smart people to hang out with. Move if you have to. That's what I'm doing on this board. You're 26, a mere babe. Plenty of time to invent the life you choose.

[moonshadow]

Originally Posted by Principally Peter

I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...

Miserable.

I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.

I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.

I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.

I fear I am turning into Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood". Here's what Dan has to say about life (copied from IMDb):

Plainview: Are you an angry man, Henry?
Henry Brands: About what?
Plainview: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
Henry Brands: I don't think so. No.
Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands: What will you do about your boy?
Plainview: I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands: Where is his mother?
Plainview: I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]

I saw this movie, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm sympathizing with the villain!" What to do? Am I just cluing in to the human condition, after years of idealistic brainwashing (by myself and others)?

Dare I suggest that this ^ which you are currently experiencing is just "growing pains". You are in a situation where what you have learned needs to be married up to what went on before AND with what will go on in your future. The solution is to LIVE. Go about your life, seek out what interests you whether that puts you into a situation that has you engaging with other people or not. Use what you have learned and apply it to your past AND to your future. Being an atheist and scientific doesn't necessarily mean that you'll never have a connection with another person ever again. I suspect that what you've just spent all your time learning needs to be processed from a practical point of view. How does what you've learned fit with your current reality and your past? Life is a patchwork quilt, lots of little shapes of all different sizes and colours and patterns all bound together to create a whole. Right now I suspect you've got this really big, important piece and you're not sure where it fits into the whole, but you'll find it. While all this is going on, don't forget to just breathe and take in the day around you. How you feel right now will pass.

[B4U]

Just wanted to follow up here, for you, P.P., as I witnessed a real life instance last night on '60 Minutes'. (I thought of you immediately when I started watching the story)
They did a segment on military service people coming back from the Gulf War with missing limbs - specificly, arms.
Engineers got together with medical people to design a "bionic" arm to bring these guys some more normalcy and quality of life.
They created something called the "deka arm". Amazing technology.
I'm really simplifying the whole story/project.
But my point is, just because you're an engineer, doesn't automatically isolate you, or distance you from humanity.
What's the famous quote that says, "I am more stupid about some things than other things. I'm not a well rounded person."? The point is to try and achieve balance. (boy, don't I know it.)
So scratch my thoughts on volunteering in a soup kitchen or such. Use your education and love/passion in your field to others' benefit. (This being said not knowing your field, of course)
These men/engineers I saw were so passionate about what they were doing and so proud and dedicated, I just know their self-respect was not an issue.
Much luck to you, man.

I just found the video for the segment:
(I like the quote, "Engineering is an adaptation of what nature does".)

'60 Minutes' video: The Pentagon's bionic arm | Cutting Edge ...
news.cnet.com/8301-11386_3-10217855-76.html

[fschmidt]

To those who blame the original poster's youth, I am twice his age, religious in an unusual way, successful, have traveled the world, and I hate humanity. The issue isn't youth. The issue is that anyone cursed with intelligence and morality cannot fail to see what utterly despicable creatures humans are. The prophets of the Old Testament had much the same insight.