I am turning into a misanthrope. Any solution? (society, life, self)
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First of all, I find people who identify with fictional characters troubling. People who never existed really cannot have emotions, etc. It's a screen play. It's not real.
You need to take some time off and travel. See the world. Learn to appreciate other cultures. Turn off the television and expand your horizons by reading books, picking up some hobbies, enjoying nature.
Thomas Paine is a great author. I think you might like his work.
20yrsinBranson
Odd angle: "People who never existed really cannot have emotions, etc." They can certainly emulate people off-screen! The OP shows sympathy for a ruthless type, which says a lot about him.
I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...
Miserable.
I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.
I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.
I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.
I fear I am turning into Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood". Here's what Dan has to say about life (copied from IMDb):
Plainview: Are you an angry man, Henry?
Henry Brands: About what?
Plainview: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
Henry Brands: I don't think so. No.
Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands: What will you do about your boy?
Plainview: I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands: Where is his mother?
Plainview: I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]
I saw this movie, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm sympathizing with the villain!" What to do? Am I just cluing in to the human condition, after years of idealistic brainwashing (by myself and others)?
when the thrill of living is gone ... life goes on... and on ... and ... and on
and on and on and on and on and onand on and on and on and on and on
If you find the ruthless Daniel Plainview a sympathetic character, you seem more like the cause of misanthropy than anything else. Classic misanthropes are mainly disappointed in the immorality and shallowness of others. They don't seek to cause pain.
Hatred is nothing but disappointed love. The true opposite of love is indifference.
The "complexity" of Plainview's character is that he implicitly loves his fellow man, sees what the potential is, sees the reality of what people actually are, and then you are at a crossroads. Do you hate them for failing themselves, the human race, and by extension, you? Or do you just become despairing and depressed (anger without enthusiasm)?
Hatred of others does not necessarily have to lead you to actions that lower yourself to the level of others. It is still possible to do the right thing by others, even while despising them. I despise my stepdaughter for very good reason -- she is cruel, toxic, and hateful toward her mother, for no good and sufficient reason -- only to support the alternate reality she has created for herself to protect herself from the Real World which she has chosen to reject. But I will not lower myself to her level. I see through her insecurity and fear and all the self-absorbed, proto-borderline structures she has constructed to ward her off her insecurity and fear. I have compassion for her, even if it's not informed by warm and fuzzy feelings or much hope for her future as a functional human being, given that she has crossed the mental Rubicon of finding ruthlessness and untruth to be acceptable coping mechanisms.
My heart is always open, even to a__h_les, should they ever come to their senses and approach me or mine in an appropriate and respectful fashion. In the story of the prodigal son, I would be the joyful father killing the fatted calf, not the resentful brother arguing for the status quo. BUT I would have to be fully convinced of their sincerity.
I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...
Miserable.
I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.
I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.
I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.
I am a 54 year old male, married, well educated, somewhere between an agnostic and an atheist, and own my own CPA practice. As a CPA and an over thinker, I see the world logically and analytically. I see the world in front of me and it's slow deterioration of morals and principles.
I've used the following terminology in many threads of mine - my thinking and yours is a self inflicted wound. And if any cliches follow I apologize (not really).
When you spend too much time looking down the road, you are bypassing that which is right in front of you, not stopping and smelling the roses so to speak. All you have at your most current moment in time is that which your five senses have, and a past to learn from. The future is a vast unknown, and to spend excess time pondering on the future will let the present pass you by, something you can NEVER get back. We all do this to a point, but if you feel as you do, then you are doing this way too much.
The only thing that is truly important is what you have now. Yes, of course you should do things and plan things to help your future, but realizing there are no guarantees. When you think doom and gloom, you are really comparing yourself to others in the world who have laid down their history. You look at bad things that have past in the world like wars, you read statistics on divorces, you hear about child and domestic abuse, bankruptcy - the list goes on. But look in the mirror and see who you are. Just because those things happen to others it doesn't mean it will happen to you. And even if it does, it many cases (not abuse), things were out of your control.
Bottom line is life is complicated, and humans are as or more complicated than life itself. Learn to enjoy the things that bring you happiness, whether it be a movie or a walk. Try to avoid things that make you unhappy. Walk and act in a way that at the end of the day you feel good about yourself because you are a good person. That's all you can do. Play the game of life. Me? I am a player, one who will get knocked down and pick himself up. At the end of the day, I am content.
lighten up bro and stop being so judgemental, you have an elitist attitude because you are more educated and have a different perspective on things. accept people as people and for who they are, try to be a better man everyday and project positivity to the world. just because you are an athiest and many people arent doesnt mean jacksh1t. you arent your beliefs and as long as you dont shove them down peoples throat they will understand and accept where you are coming from and you must do likewise.
btw are you getting laid? Lack of poonani has been known to drive the sanest of men to the brinks of insanity.
Oh and I suppose that explains why so many perverted murderers are married men?
Your problem is you have nothing in common with your family except blood. Don't blame them. Some people are just not people people who can fit in easily. Accept it and move on .
We live in a decadent, degraded, toxic world and there's nothing to look forward to but collapse.
Bring it on.
Sucks, doesn't it.
My mantra - I hate people (in general). I have good people in my life, but seen too much crap in people - family, friends, co-workers. I always feel I'm surrounded by the toxicity you speak of.
You are expecting more from the Universe than it promised you. The Universe never said you would be put in a world full of compatible people. Some people only see a cruel unfeeling face and concentration camp of this world before their life is over.
And what was your problem again? You don't like people? Consider yourself lucky if that is your biggest problem.
To the OP: You are by no means a misanthrope. I know many people like you. You are governed by reason, not faith. You are rational, not emotional. You are well educated and not a dolt. This places you in a small minority of people (and, judging by our congress, an even smaller minority of Americans). As you grew into young adulthood you have realized that this separates you from many, including your family. This is quite natural, though not necessarily easy. If you are not in a progressive part of the country, moving to one might help. Good luck.
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