I am turning into a misanthrope. Any solution? (morals, life, self)
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It's kind of ironic that I'm a misanthropist myself about to give you advice, but uh, sometimes this works for me, to try to think of the good in people and see the good in people. If you know anybody who is mostly a good person that also helps. If you're around people that are mostly (insert negative characteristics here) it doesn't help. You have flaws also and seeing them may help you realize that you are not perfect either and probably get on other peoples' nerves also. Try to improve yourself, slowly but surely. Never quit working on yourself and never quit working toward things you want.
The ideas I see espoused here by those who are "giving up" on humanity are quite common but I am always puzzled by them. I'm a complete elitist and I do often find myself with the attitude that I'm above the majority of the people in the world. However, I absolutely love humanity. Humans are the most interesting species on earth and they lend meaning to everything. I don't understand how you can be disillusioned with humanity just because you hear or learn about the atrocities people commit. When were you sold a picture of humanity that said otherwise? When you were a baby and naively thought there were no bad people in the world? I accept humanity in its entirety with no cynicism. If all your learning made you take the stance of hating your own kind, intellectually you have made a wrong turn somewhere.
I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...
Miserable.
I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.
I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.
I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.
I fear I am turning into Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood". Here's what Dan has to say about life (copied from IMDb):
Plainview: Are you an angry man, Henry?
Henry Brands: About what?
Plainview: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
Henry Brands: I don't think so. No.
Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands: What will you do about your boy?
Plainview: I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands: Where is his mother?
Plainview: I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]
I saw this movie, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm sympathizing with the villain!" What to do? Am I just cluing in to the human condition, after years of idealistic brainwashing (by myself and others)?
I think that your problem is: you became one sided mentally. Out of balance. It's not that you know too much, it's that you know only one type of information, which makes you brain too heavy on one side (so to speak) and too vacant on the other.
You have have to become more well rounded. You have to include more broad information.
Your brain calculates your decisions based on the available data you put into it.
If you only put one kind of data into it (only logical for example or only "whatever you've been doing") it will give you one sided conclusions. You will believe that you know more than everybody. But it will be an illusion because that's the only conclusion your brain could reach based on the data YOU gave to it. So in a sense, you prejudiced your own brain.
It's hard to perceive your true self and state of being without point of reference. So you have to keep track of what kinds of information you put into your brain. If you observe that all the info. is one sided, you can deduce that your conclusions about everything will be one sided.
I am gathering that you kind of "scoff" at things other people believe (who are not like you). But don't allow yourself to perceive it as you being superior, but instead see yourself as being one sided. Maybe that will help you...be happier... when you get more balanced in your beliefs (and your information).
So if you want to really be superior, be open minded and let yourself "process" all kinds of different information, just to balance things out.
I relate. I suffer from misanthropy. It's interesting how many people tell you to "lighten up" or "be humble" or "stop being full of yourself." I often get these comments from individuals who will finish telling me this and then go on to make cruel/negatively judgmental (every observation not done with empirical research is a judgement because it is opinion) comments about other people. The goal may be to "be humble" or "lighten up", but just telling you to do that isn't the method to get you to these goals.
For while I focused on people who inspire me. That helps me like people more, but it makes me dislike others more as well. I know that I have to find a solution to this issue. No one else can climb in my brain and reprogram it (yet). I find that reading about Buddhism compassion and the philosophy of Stoicism can help. Don't beat yourself up. Some pretty cool people have been known to be misanthropes. I think the goal is to just find a way to tolerate others. People who tell you to not judge don't get how the human mind works and what it is designed to do. It is a judging machine because it is one of the tools we used to survive and outlive other species. I suggest finding a philosophy of life that is flexible and allows you to live a good life. Notice I say live a good life not be a good person. You can feel when your life is good but it's usually hubris when we feel we are good.
Should we ever converse again I will let you know how my recovery from misanthropy is going.
I don't consider myself a full-time misanthrope, but sometimes when I hear / read about man's atrocities towards fellow men, I just wish a comet would hit the Earth and do away with mankind, because we don't deserve to exist as a species. I'm currently reading the book "Twelve Years a Slave," and man, that just makes me wish hominids never evolved into homo sapiens in the first place. Evolutionary mistake, let's have a little do-over here....lol. At the very least, I'd love to write an alternate history novel about the Great Slave Rebellion that should have taken place instead of the Civil War, in which the slaves of that era kill off all the whites in an incredibly massive, scorched-earth campaign. I wonder what this country would be like if that really did happen.
Yeah, a lotta people suck, but there's a lot of good ones out there too. Do the scales balance out, or weigh in favor of the good guys? For me, the jury is still out on that one...
We can look at the world and see miserable, worthless excuses for human beings every place we look, or we can see joyous, delightful, helpful friends. Learning to look takes practice.
Look at just one person at a time. Do not assume anyone represents all of mankind. Humanity is like a huge fruit salad with a few nuts and rotten apples thrown in. Try not to judge the salad on a few bites.
To find people worth being friends, make a detailed description as to what you would want to find in people and try to mold yourself into that. From there you will soon find many people have those traits. I suspect we see people based upon what we are. To see the type of people we desire the world to be, it works out best if we become that type of person.
I became a scientist (after deciding in my first year at university engineering wasn't my cup of tea). Once you attend university, and acquire an understanding of hard science, advanced mathematics, and what not, the world is never the same.
People fret over so much nonsense, it makes most who graduate misanthropic for a bit. Mathematical illiteracy is so rampant, amusing and annoying for those of us with a basic understanding of reality that it's hard not to be judgmental about the human condition.
Find a lovely spouse, have children, settle down, and enjoy life.
Nothing like a happy marriage and family to take the edge of youthful misanthropy. Take it from a former misanthrope.
We can look at the world and see miserable, worthless excuses for human beings every place we look, or we can see joyous, delightful, helpful friends. Learning to look takes practice.
Look at just one person at a time. Do not assume anyone represents all of mankind. Humanity is like a huge fruit salad with a few nuts and rotten apples thrown in. Try not to judge the salad on a few bites.
To find people worth being friends, make a detailed description as to what you would want to find in people and try to mold yourself into that. From there you will soon find many people have those traits. I suspect we see people based upon what we are. To see the type of people we desire the world to be, it works out best if we become that type of person.
This is great advice, and this is stuff I strive to do anyhow, having and keeping good friends with the traits I admire, etc.
But reading that book, imagining myself in that gentleman's condition, having to suffer such great abuse - I mean, what really separates me now, living a comfortable life in a nice era compared to such a cruel existence of a slightly different era? (170 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things.) I just feel we're just not there yet as a species. I have to think if our current society falls, it'd not take much for humans to go back to having slaves and the horrors that go along with that.
Yes, I know we're just babies, just starting out as a brand-new species, but gosh, does there have to be so much suffering and cruelty about? If there's a God out there, I'd sure love to sue him into bankrupcy for creating such an imperfect species - just imagine how much better the world would be if everyone treated each other like they would like be treated.
If you don't catch my drift, grab a copy of "Twelve Years a Slave" - e-book format, 99 cents. You'll see what I mean.
This is great advice, and this is stuff I strive to do anyhow, having and keeping good friends with the traits I admire, etc.
But reading that book, imagining myself in that gentleman's condition, having to suffer such great abuse - I mean, what really separates me now, living a comfortable life in a nice era compared to such a cruel existence of a slightly different era? (170 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things.) I just feel we're just not there yet as a species. I have to think if our current society falls, it'd not take much for humans to go back to having slaves and the horrors that go along with that.
Yes, I know we're just babies, just starting out as a brand-new species, but gosh, does there have to be so much suffering and cruelty about? If there's a God out there, I'd sure love to sue him into bankrupcy for creating such an imperfect species - just imagine how much better the world would be if everyone treated each other like they would like be treated.
If you don't catch my drift, grab a copy of "Twelve Years a Slave" - e-book format, 99 cents. You'll see what I mean.
I think you said it quite well here:
Quote:
Yes, I know we're just babies, just starting out as a brand-new species, but gosh, does there have to be so much suffering and cruelty about? If there's a God out there, I'd sure love to sue him into bankrupcy for creating such an imperfect species - just imagine how much better the world would be if everyone treated each other like they would like be treated.
We are very much a brand-new species. In fact every generation seems to be a new species. We are learning and growing. A side effect of growth is growing pains.
I believe this world is just a beginning, a learning experience and a trial. We are designed to face constant doubts and trials. It is not always easy and some people obviously fail, often doing their best to take down others in their failings. These are what give us cause to believe humans are a blight upon the surface of a beautiful orb. If human's were a plant blight,we would be doing our best to exterminate us. but when we think it is hopeless we often catch a glimpse of beauty that gives us hope and reason to think in terms of what can be, instead of what is.
By looking at the injustices and the ugliness, we can either give up or use it as a prod to improve at least one person's life, even if it is our own. Maybe we often find we are swimming in mud, but we do not have to stay muddy.
I am a 26-yo male, single, very well-educated, professional, successful...
Miserable.
I was highly motivated and idealistic in school, and went farther than anyone in my family and any of my friends. Now when I go home to visit my family and friends, I can't understand them. I see them engage in so many silly and counterproductive behaviors.
I am an engineer, and engineering gave me a new perspective on life. I see the world in terms of logic, cost, benefit, ROI, and frankly very little of what I see makes sense. I sometimes wish I had never learned of the scientific method, because it's led me to nothing but grief and heartache about the state of things.
I am an atheist, and that opens up a huge gulf between me and many people. I think that the natural world is the result of random processes and any meaning we assign to it are artefacts of the pattern-recognition regions of our brain which have been selected for by evolution. My beliefs have led me to no end of grief, but frankly I can't bring myself to believe otherwise. To do so I would be lying to myself, and you can't live that way. Not for very long at least.
I fear I am turning into Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood". Here's what Dan has to say about life (copied from IMDb):
Plainview: Are you an angry man, Henry?
Henry Brands: About what?
Plainview: Are you envious? Do you get envious?
Henry Brands: I don't think so. No.
Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands: What will you do about your boy?
Plainview: I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands: Where is his mother?
Plainview: I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]
I saw this movie, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm sympathizing with the villain!" What to do? Am I just cluing in to the human condition, after years of idealistic brainwashing (by myself and others)?
If you find the ruthless Daniel Plainview a sympathetic character, you seem more like the cause of misanthropy than anything else. Classic misanthropes are mainly disappointed in the immorality and shallowness of others. They don't seek to cause pain.
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Sometimes, sometimes not
Physics, physics, physics and math
