Getting Cold Feet About Moving To Phoenix..Please Help! (Mesa: transplants, credit)

[onthelake1617]

Barb, He is a freshman now will be a sophomore when we start there. Which makes it more difficult. Thanks for the advice. Do you have children in school now? I wonder how friendly the kids would be to new students.

[Tall Traveler]

This can be a learning experience for you to teach your son that sometimes change is for the better. Sometimes we have to move to get to where you want to be (as a career & income, etc.) However, there is a risk that the friends he makes at your new location will have a more negative influence that where he currently is. A rhetorical question for you is how do you feel about the friends he's with now? If they're not such a good influence, maybe it will be a better influence for him to move.

From your original statement, it sounds like the economic opportunity is much better in Phoenix? It's certainly cheaper to live in Phoenix than Seattle. Our general rule with our kids was no moving until they finished HS unless it was just not economically viable to stay (which never occurred in our case). Looking back now, I don't think that should be a hard and fast rule. I don't envy the deicision you have to make...good luck.

[maverick974]

Hey, I was in your shoes just two years ago. I wanted to move and my daughter was still in high school and vehemently discouraged us moving but I'm the parent. (Widowed). It was my decision and I stood firm. We were not getting ahead in Oregon and we were, much like you, growing very weary of the dreary, drab, cold, dank weather of the PNW. So I moved.
Best thing I've ever done. I absolutely love it here.
My daughter has now finished her community college in Oregon, she has moved down here and loves it. She says she can't see herself ever going back to Oregon except for maybe a visit now and then during the summer but never again will she go back in the winter. She says moving down here has opened up an entire new life for her. She is currently going to a bible school in So. Cal. but is returning here sometime this year to attend college here in the Phoenix area.
I don't mean to be rude but be a parent. Sometimes we cower down far too much to our children's desires when deep down, we know far better than they, what is best for the family as a whole. I listened to my daughters concerns, I certainly understood her position but I mad an executive decision based on many things. She didn't like it but she respected my resolution and it worked out for the best by a long shot. As it turns out, I hit a home run. We couldn't be happier.
You've already visited several times. You seem to like what you see and it sounds like you have a great opportunity to make more money. Add to that is the fact that the cost of living here and WAY cheaper than the Seattle area.
Your son may not like it but life is tough sometimes. We don't always get what we want but things typically work out for the best.
In my case, I love it here. I mean I really, REALLY love it here compared to the PNW.
Alter8 is correct. Phoenix is the polar opposite of Seattle. In my opinion, it's a positive thing. Some would disagree but the lifestyle here is more laid back simply because it can be. Sunny year 'round, warm, comfortable temps most of the time but it can get hot. Very hot, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. A pool makes a world of difference, the lakes are close by and all the kids like floating the Salt River. I'm sure you son wouldn't mind seeing all the girls in their bikini's at the lakes or floating the river.
Your son will be hanging out in the pool most of the year, he will be doing things here that aren't really available in the PNW because of all the rain. He won't be stuck inside for the better part of the year. Personally, I think being stuck inside most of the time is what causes kids to seek out things like drugs, sitting around getting fat playing online or video games all day for days on end and many other negatives.
This is a great area and there are so many more things to do here than the PNW. Well, perhaps not more to do but at least what we can do, we can do it pretty much all year long. Hiking, biking, fishing, boating, dirt bikes, swimming, etc. It's been my experience that once kids get just a little acclimated to not only the weather but the lifestyle, they like it here far more than the PNW. In two years, my move is responsible for 7 different people moving here, simply because they visited from Oregon and liked it so much, they made the move. Get ready for visitors in the winter because they will make your new home their new vacation spot.
If you are starting to have a difficult time with the weather, then it's time to move on.
You can stay in Seattle and wonder "what if" but you'll never know if you'll truly like it here until you just do it.
If you'd like any more information, don't hesitate to send me a PM. My wife was from Seattle and I'm very familiar with the area. I lived in Oregon since 1988 so after 23 years, it was just time to do something new and different and my family is all the better for it although it was a difficult and somewhat scary decision at the time.

[onthelake1617]

BTW I did talk to him about the pool and nice weather, sports etc. and he still didn't care. It sure sounds good to me though!

[observer53]

No one can say for you how things will work out for all of you. Moving is hard for kids, because they just can't imagine that any place will be better than where they are now, and their friends are important. But, you're the parents, and he goes where you go, if the economic opportunity here outweighs staying there. You do what's best for the family as a whole. I don't buy the suggestion that he stay there with the grandparents... not fair to put that on them.

He'll meet a lot of other kids who just moved here recently, so they won't be any more settled in than he is... they can settle in together.

[onthelake1617]

Thanks for the advice everyone!
Maverick, You have been very helpful. Did your daughter move with you in the beginning and finish high school in AZ?

[onthelake1617]

Originally Posted by observer53

No one can say for you how things will work out for all of you. Moving is hard for kids, because they just can't imagine that any place will be better than where they are now, and their friends are important. But, you're the parents, and he goes where you go, if the economic opportunity here outweighs staying there. You do what's best for the family as a whole. I don't buy the suggestion that he stay there with the grandparents... not fair to put that on them.

He'll meet a lot of other kids who just moved here recently, so they won't be any more settled in than he is... they can settle in together.

Great advice, thank you!

[Fran66]

Originally Posted by onthelake1617

We are set to accept a job and buy a house in Ahwatukee. We currently live in Seattle, our daughter will be going to college in the fall and doesn't care either way, but our 15 year old son is a high school freshman and absolutely does not want to move. I feel sick to my stomach everytime I think about telling him that we are indeed moving to Phoenix. He would attend Desert Vista High, which I have heard is a great school. Are we going to like living there? Am I wrong to move our son during high school? We moved to Seattle 3 years when he was in 6th grade because my parents live here and I grew up here, but now we have a good job to go to in Phoenix. Also if we buy a house in Ahwatukee is the value going to go up in 5 years. I'm so stressed have to make a decision now. Any thoughts? Please help.

I was a freshman when my parents moved me away from the only neighborhood and school chums I'd ever known. (I was raised in a big city in Southern CA.) It took me a year to adjust -- but once I did -- it was THE BEST thing that had every happened to me up to that time. I loved the small town, loved the other HS kids -- I look back on the last 2 years of HS as one of the top 5 best times in my life.

With that said -- living in Arizona is going to take adjustment for you. Arizona is not Washington state. Plus, it's horribly hot during the summer (and summer is long) -- you better put a cover over that pool because even in a pool you can get easily burned in a short period of time. The other thing you need to think about is that Arizona is in a very bad drought -- has been for a long time and there is no end in sight. I live in NM -- I'm moving out, and the drought is the main reason why. The other reason is because I miss a big city.

You need to research the water situation in the SW and particularly in AZ.

Do you HAVE to take this job?

Lastly -- you're a woman, yes? -- it concerns me that you're so nervous about this move. Maybe your intuition is telling you that this is not a good move for you and your family. Something to think about.

And I wish you the very best.

[strawberrykiki]

I'm not from either place, but I came across this thread and wanted to chip in that I moved and started a new school at the start of 10th grade. At the time I was very shy and quiet, but I adjusted and made friends just fine. I don't think you should let your son determine where you move. I'm sympathetic to how he feels, but I believe he truly will adjust if you decide to make the move.

[JGMotorsport64]

Originally Posted by atler8

If you can make scouting trips to Phoenix, I'll advise you that it would not be wise to hurry so as to miss the triple-digit heat, as an earlier person here suggested. You & your family need to know exactly what you are getting into as far as the heat factor goes.
Phoenix & Seattle are not only polar opposites in climate, but culturally they feel as if they are in different countries.
And if you love living near the ocean at Puget Sound, the Valley will be another polar oposite situation.
Good luck!

Not necessarily. If one is going to scout Phoenix you need to actually consider every variable. When you visit in the summer you are going to deal with oppressive heat there is no way around that but to scout in July and August would return a possibly less-objective and more negative response to the weather as it can be very oppressive. To visit Phoenix is not to survive the heat it is to explore Phoenix. To do so in the middle of the summer is not a vacation and shouldn't be the first experience you should know as well as anybody else that lives in this part of the country that you don't acclimate from Seattle to Phoenix by doing it dramatically.
This also highlights why we have a winter tourist season instead of a traditional summer one.

I say OP if you come before the peak season you will have a chance to scout out positives and learn about the city. If you come in July all you will experience (at-least as i presume you may not be acclimated to extreme heat) is the feeling of a hot car (as it is a motor city) and a bright possibly aggravating drive, I wouldn't want the OP's first experience to be one of aggravation but one of pleasure like the Phoenix Metro can offer. When we go to visit Seattle to see if we want to move to we immediately try to visit at the peak of snow and ice in hopes to have a rough trip or do we first scout the city and experience it first and then tackle the negative? in order to acclimate you should ease yourself into the summer because at first it can very difficult. Many will acclimate (I do not mind it terribly) many will not but an instant shock will likely not be the best route.