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Harborlady, I tried to count the women who have enhanced my life during the past 50 years who left careers to be mothers, only to get dumped for a sweet young thing when the kids went to college. Fingers and toes were not enough.
I once tried to get a friend who owned a insurance company to sell Sweet Young Thing Insurance. He smiled, humored me a little and said there was no market. We revisited the subject when he approached the age and saw it happening to all his friends. Thank goodness, those folks did not have a money issue. When he dumped his wife for a sweet young thing, spousal maintenance cost him $45,000 a month. He saw the market.
Most are not that lucky. I strongly suspect that income security accounts for many mothers continuing their jobs when they would rather be raising their own children.
Sweet young thing insurance is a Katherine Zeta Jones infidelity clause with Michael Douglas. The Most Bizarre Prenuptial Clauses | LegalZoom I see little point entering contracts with what amounts to be juvenile delinquency. Bless and release is far saner.
What you say in jest is more dysfunctional than you realize. Chance would have it a local jeweler posted a big banner on his storefront. "Forever marriage insurance". It doesn't occur to some what this sign means to others. As if a large enough pile of baubles could substitute being 'all there'. Capitalize on cowardice. Marriage for these men is little more than a hormone management system. If he were my son: Wake up, Adam. You're a zombie caught up in games of your own design.
Demented males in this thread hostile to motherhood... Nooooo, this young man doesn't have issues with daddy dearest:
Rollins Band - Liar - YouTube
What 'self made men' are promoting as manhood is a mental health disorder. This would be the gauntlet of peer pressure healthy males are compelled to scrape off their shoes or risk having genuine relationships ruined & alienating them from their own children. The same 'self made men' worshiping themselves will invite them to their sports bar, their brothels, or enlist them in a hate posse to fight their battles for them. Just another lawyering tactic that create diseases and sells them 'cures' that maintain their disease. Is it appreciably different than women instructing girls to not bother cultivating self esteem or legitimate job skills, but rather aspire to be gold diggers/ merry widows in lieu of authentic marriage? Not really. Manipulation/ predatory mentalities only differ in MO & profit margins.
As another poster stated, it's none of our business until they expect their lifestyles serviced in public policy. This includes lifelong kept women expecting to collect from a social security system they never paid into. Or have they paid indirectly and the law avoids uttering that aloud? Can you discern the difference using the framework of a family court judge? I can't. What I do see outside that courtroom are resources being used as a means for abusers to control, a means for other abusers to exploit, and the rest of us dragged in the middle of their 3rd party narrative arguments oblivious to themselves at the expense of children. The family values platform could stand massive overhaul.
Last edited by harborlady; 10-31-2011 at 02:22 PM..
For those who complain I think the answer is to switch jobs sometimes. For 6 months the man stays at home, for 6 months the woman does. They would get a taste of what the other does.
I bet at the end they would not be complaining as much as to has the easiest job. Both would be worn out. Problem solved.
Well it's a good thing you haven't exaggerated your claims in order to support your position. Then we'd all be disappointed.
You wouldnt be dissapointed. Its nothing to be exaggerated. Doing both jobs (earning an income and keeping a home) is something nearly every single person or single parent does. Of course being a parent makes it more difficult. My kids are grown now. I cook for them, grandkids and bf on the weekends mostly when they all stay with me.
My position is a stay at home spouse/parent is not as worthless as some seem to think. There are lazy people and motivated people. Being in the position (in the past) of working and raising my children alone has made me appriciate what it is to have a partner to either earn an income or care for the home and kids or share both responsibilities.
I hope you havent exaggerated your claims in order to support your position.
Sure it does. Women need to work to give the man a break. Don't be selfish about this.
I do not know what you are talking about. Be selfish about this? What did I write for you to come up with that? Maybe I was not clear on my point. Please expand. Take care.
I've had some pretty cushy work for pay outside the home before. Way easier than being home with kids all day. I don't even get this debate.
This debate is more about putting a price tag on the value of nurture, esteem, moral instruction, socialization skills, and a whole host of other things intrinsic to fully active motherhood. Also looks to me the very arguments that create social environments ripe for abortion under the RTL banner. But the liberals did it. They stampeded womankind into institutionalized domestic violence arrangements and socially/ legally denied womankind the right to self defense.
It took until 1993 for the state of NC to agree that spousal rape ought to be illegal. A little over a decade later a husband is hiring a rapist on craigs list. Some traditions die hard.
The liberals did it, and their dog ate their homework.
Quote:
Originally Posted by temazepam
And that daycare eats up a big chunk of the wife's earnings. Then, the rest goes to her career wardrobe, makeup, her own car and its expenses, and lunches out. How much more is left after paying the costs that cover her working mother lifestyle?
The catch 22 for middle class because you're out of the loop for charity and extended family are occupied with jobs of their own. Low income people also find themselves out of the loop when these type programs are severely limited in resources. Finite welfare dollars are better spent on jobs training to break cycles of poverty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by temazepam
OTOH, when I was a kid, my mother worked and dropped me off at babysitters' houses. Those women were the laziest, sloppiest excuses for housewives. They'd still be in their robes, slippers, hair in curlers most of the day. Watch the morning news. Then, late morning game shows. Maybe make the beds and wash their hair in the kitchen sink and put the curlers in again. Make some sandwiches. Yack on the phone with friends. Then make us take naps while they watched soaps. Make us play outside. Then give us a snack while they watched late afternoon talk shows. Then brush their hair and get dinner ready for their families.
Babysitters are not substitute parents anymore than a school system could be. I don't think as a child you understood what it is you were looking at. 24/7 vigilance that operates peripherally has the appearance of invisibility when the other half of the job-- refraining from 'smothering'-- is minded. Hyper-vigilant parents burn out quickly.
I've seen an extreme in the other direction starching the drapes in the house aspiring to be a slave to appearance. A McCall's icon of perfection. Silent generation with her in the background- she must have redecorated that house on 8 separate occasions. Steam that had no meaningful outlet. I pitied her. She was a neurotic mess and quite scary for children to be around. Imagine Martha Stewart on steroids. People like these spend their lives trying to earn love and approval but are conditioned to avoid looking inside themselves. They mean well but they're stuck.
So, America, what's it worth to you to have a future generation of kids with a healthy sense of self esteem, mindful of personal boundaries, and who know to stand up for themselves? Kids that can resolve their personal differences without cops or court rooms? Kids that have a honed moral compass? Kids who understand the concept of being industrious? What are kids consistently taught to have reverence for life worth? Viewed from another angle, what does Charles Manson's cultural root lack of upbringing cost all others in civilization? Beyond the notorious headlines you'll have to read up about his unwed teen aged Kentucky mom to understand how monsters are created in America.
What is this hang up with Merry Maids? Don't any of you folks clean/pick up after yourself. What kind of values are you setting up for your children if you don't......
First of all pollyrobin I was being sarcastic when I said that I was going to call MM's.
Second - I don't have any kids, by choice, to set any sort of example for -- I'm single, worked full time until retirement and took care of my home and vehicles too as well as such things as yard and garden work, painting, roof repairs, animal care, etc.
Surely you pay others to perform many tasks for you - from raising and slaughtering livestock to growing fruits, veggies and grains that you purchase to eat, books, movies and music that entertain you, to paving the roads you drive, generating the electricity for your home, insuring that you have safe water to drink, etc.
So why is it wrong to hire out some tasks - such as housekeeping - but not others?
There is a certain demographic, mostly made up of men who inhabit corner offices, for whom a "non-working" spouse connotes professional success, and if she holds a post-graduate degree from a prestigious university in 19th century French literature, all the better for her philanthropic pursuits with the board of the public library. Bonus points if one can bounce a quarter off her butt due to the dozen or so hours a week she spends working out with a trainer to keep herself looking good. My guess is that none of you qualify, so quit your bitchin'.
In other words, the demographic of men who desire Stepford Wives.
And a post-graduate degree in 19th century French literature sounds absolutely useless.
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