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There is a spanking every now and then, I spanked my son, 3 times in his life....and then there is hitting and abuse...there is a big huge difference...your parents were wrong....therefore, any child you have, you will probably be so afraid to spank...and some kids don't need spanking...
Any child, forms his/her character by the age of 5, therefore, if you don't have control by then, you never will...and I say you, in general, not meaning you personally...but I certainly can understand your feelings and why.
I gave a perfect example of what you just said in my post. I only needed to swat their bottoms to show them where the lines were drawn for acceptable behavior, after they were five years old I did not need to spank anymore.
My problem with giving a child a "time out" as punishment, is that it does not draw a line between the differing levels of inappropriate behavior.
Level 1 - Is you might freaking die if you ever do that again. Examples of this would be playing with light sockets, or knives or running into the street, playing with chemicals under the bathroom sink or opening medicine bottles.
Level 2 - Is unsafe behavior where you or someone else could be injured. Antagonizing a strangers dog, reaching for the top of stove, playing with fire, throwing metal toys at your aunt, pushing toddlers down.
Level 3 - Is unacceptable social behavior, like back talking to adults, lying, pouring laundry detergent in your aunt's fish tank, cursing, throwing temper tantrums at the checkout counter.
You cannot draw clear lines for the different levels of what is improper behavior if the answer for all the above is a "time out", or a "talking to" like "Johnny, you know you're not supposed to do that."
I gave a perfect example of what you just said in my post. I only needed to swat their bottoms to show them where the lines were drawn for acceptable behavior, after they were five years old I did not need to spank anymore.
My problem with giving a child a "time out" as punishment, is that it does not draw a line between the differing levels of inappropriate behavior.
Level 1 - Is you might freaking die if you ever do that again. Examples of this would be playing with light sockets, or knives or running into the street, playing with chemicals under the bathroom sink or opening medicine bottles.
Level 2 - Is unsafe behavior where you or someone else could be injured. Antagonizing a strangers dog, reaching for the top of stove, playing with fire, throwing metal toys at your aunt, pushing toddlers down.
Level 3 - Is unacceptable social behavior, like back talking to adults, lying, pouring laundry detergent in your aunt's fish tank, cursing, throwing temper tantrums at the checkout counter.
You cannot draw clear lines for the different levels of what is improper behavior if the answer for all the above is a "time out", or a "talking to" like "Johnny, you know you're not supposed to do that."
Your absolutely right, kids have a very short attention span...
What I really loose patients with, are these parents that insist that spanking a child on their behind is abuse...sheeesh?
I saw my sister and brother both spanked once in my entire life...it wasn't a beating, or abuse...they were swated on the behind for talking back...and they were talking back big time...scared me enough to know how to curtail any disrespectful social behavior...
Your absolutely right, kids have a very short attention span...
What I really loose patients with, are these parents that insist that spanking a child on their behind is abuse...sheeesh?
I saw my sister and brother both spanked once in my entire life...it wasn't a beating, or abuse...they were swated on the behind for talking back...and they were talking back big time...scared me enough to know how to curtail any disrespectful social behavior...
Plus, I don't know how you can reason with a two or three year old with a "time out' for running out into a busy street or reaching for a pan of hot oil on the stove.
Plus, I don't know how you can reason with a two or three year old with a "time out' for running out into a busy street or reaching for a pan of hot oil on the stove.
Could always try and pay attention to the kid in the first place. Try it, it'll do wonders.
Your absolutely right, kids have a very short attention span...
What I really loose patients with, are these parents that insist that spanking a child on their behind is abuse...sheeesh?
I saw my sister and brother both spanked once in my entire life...it wasn't a beating, or abuse...they were swated on the behind for talking back...and they were talking back big time...scared me enough to know how to curtail any disrespectful social behavior...
You have never been spanked? And your brother & sister only once? That sounds remarkable & glad that some people do not spank their kids unless it is absolutely necessary.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
gota be legal. no discipline, no punishment-- means rotten kids and rotten adults. 40 years later, dr spock lied, largest prison population on earth.time out does not work with monkeys or apes.
Didn't Dr. Spock's son commit suicide? I would take Dr. Spock's childrearing advice with a grain of salt.
Sigh....what don't you get......my position is the same as the studies that have focused on parents with kids. You are dismissing my stance, which is the same of many professionals, because I don't have kids. It wouldn't matter if I had kids or not......I'm using models that have been tested extensively on kids with parents that have proven results. Parents in real life situations are using these methods to high success rates. Just because I don't have kids doesn't erase the numerous studies and results that back up my stance. I'll sound like a broken record but show me proof that not having kids makes a person less credible in the ways and practices of dealing with bad behaviors. Give me facts instead of "I know best because I'm a parent and you are not."
Actually what I did was dismiss anything you had to say after you equated spanking to "lazy parenting".
Now, if you'd like to take THAT back, I'd be more than happy to go over any study you have linked thus far.
Actually what I did was dismiss anything you had to say after you equated spanking to "lazy parenting".
Now, if you'd like to take THAT back, I'd be more than happy to go over any study you have linked thus far.
Nope, not going to take it back. Think I'm done with this thread as a few of you refuse to show me any facts/studies, which I've asked for numerous times, that show folks without children aren't as qualified to speak on these child rearing techniques compared to folks with children. It's senseless to go on at this point.....I'll continue to take the word and practices from the professionals on the subject that I've seen provide quality results instead of the "I'm right because I'm a parent and you are not," argument that's been thrown around without any substance of backing that claim.
Could always try and pay attention to the kid in the first place. Try it, it'll do wonders.
Being snarky is not constructive.
I ask you, how can I intercept my child's attempt to reach the stove top if I'm not watching him in the first place? The people who do not watch their children are the ones in the emergency room with a child that has third degree burns.
Didn't Dr. Spock's son commit suicide? I would take Dr. Spock's childrearing advice with a grain of salt.
Dr. Spock is who started this trend of not spanking kids, that it was inappropriate and abusive...well...look what has happened to this country...are kids better for it? I don't think so...chances are if people don't spank they're kids, they also avoid disapline....
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