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I don't believe there is any harm in giving a swat to get a small child's attention. What if they attempt to go into the street, you tell them "no", but they aren't going to be "controlled" and do as they please. They are a grease spot on the road due to lack of parenting and irresponsibility. When I was 4, my dad told me explicitly NOT to go into the street, but I did anyway. And got some good swats for it. Never did it again! Thank god, we lived in a small town on a dirt road at the time, with no traffic. Am sure he was glad too, that the five of us were still alive when my mother got home, as he was doing the babysitting that day.
Where was your father that you were able to get that far away from him and get into the street? As far as *I* can tell something was wrong with his parenting before hand if you were 4 years old and still going in the street when told no to and he was not around close enough to stop you before you got there. I also think the idea of "I'm going to hurt you because I don't want you to get hurt" is rather silly. He should have hugged you and told you how happy he was you weren't hurt...he should have told you how much he LOVED you and that he'd NEVER hurt you or want to see you hurting. Instead he CHOSE to hurt you himself...that is not something that I find acceptable for a parent to chose.
As I've posted in some other threads, I'm definitely for a ban similar to the one currently being discussed here in MA. Sure, it may not be as bad as other types of abuse, but the intent is still to hurt by striking a defenseless victim and in my opinion that is reprehensible.
I agree that it is reprehensible...however I am interested in what you think should be done to help parents find a BETTER way. Clearly a ban is not going to take away the real issue that parents don't know hwo to parent properly so they resort to hitting. A ban would only be PART of the solution. It's the same as with kids...you can't just tell them what NOT to do you have to tell them what you'd like them to be doing instead. So I would like to hear your opinions on that.
I'd like to think that parents have a bit more self control than a cat. The natural consequence of bugging a cat is that the cat will hurt you. The natural consequence of breaking things is you pay for it. The natural consequence of a hissy fit or any unpleasent attitude is that people really don't want to be around you. A parent smacking you is really not a natural consequence to anything.
Well, I never voted in the poll because I didn't feel one way or the other before I started reading the responses.
I used to think spanking was okay...
But after doing some research, I don't know that I feel that way anymore.
Does spanking really produce better kids -- or is it more of an outlet for the parents frustrations?
I am HIGHLY critical of putting soap in children's mouths because soap was never made to be ingested. I think that is child abuse and I have to wonder where someone who would put soap in a child's mouth would stop. Would they put cigarettes out on a child's arm if the child touched a cigarette? Would they rub a child's bedsheet in their face if the child urinated on it? If a child pooped in bed, would they make them eat it? Where does the abuse end? To me, any of these scenarios are HIGHLY abusive.
With regards to spanking, a quick swat on the butt never hurt anyone -- but I don't know if that is enough to make most kids fear "the quick swat on the butt." A LOT of parents go far beyond that to make their message heard.
"Spanking" means something different to a lot of people. For some people, it is only using your hand. For others, it means pulling out the "props" (Paddles, belts, hangers, whatever). I don't think it would hurt parental rights if spanking was defined by law.
As far as babies go -- babies can DIE from being shaken! What sane parent would spank a baby?!!
I think it's kind of funny how so many posters keep restating that spanking isn't abuse. As if something has to be abusive for us to feel as if it shouldn't happen. I don't think the swat on the bottom type of spanking is abuse. I think it's mean, stupid, and pointless..but not abusive. However there are plently of non abusive things I don't think parents should do. Just like there are plenty of legal things that I don't wish to make illegal that I don't think people should do. I don't consider spanking dicipline because dicipline teaches a CORRECT thing to do. Spanking just hurts kids for bad choices that's a punishment not a dicipline. Punishment imo is pointless, dicipline is what is needed to produce well behaved children. I'd rather have children who obey most of the time because they understand and respect the rules and push it when they don't understand or agree with the rules, than a child that obey's regardless because they are afraid..I don't think obeying out of fear is positive at all.
As far as the soap in the mouth...I agree soap isnt meant for mouths...we teach children all these other things not to put in their mouths chemicals etc and yet here we are sticking cleaning products in their mouths? eww. I know some people who put hot sauce on their children's tongues for bad words. Well hot sauce is meant to be ingested...though I still find it cruel to do to a child....A method that works wonders however for stopping nasty "potty" language is having a child clean the bathroom. Let me tell you after a few times of cleaning it they get sick of that....and if it takes them a while to break the habit atleast you get really clean bathrooms out of it.
While I am not in favor of a ban...simply because a ban on spanking to me is similar to a spanking...it tells what is NOT okay to do without teaching what we SHOULD do instead.
Should the government get involved in this to...this is insane and has now become a political issue???????
This amazes me...we were spanked as children and we're fine, we were not beat, but we knew there was a consequence for our actions...
I heard a man on the news comment, that spanking was an uneducated way to discipline...amazing...
I think not spanking is not only an uneducated way of discipline, but a parent who is avoiding discipline.
I am 59 years old and see way to many children today who do not fear a consequence for their actions...a couple down the street, raise they're 3 grand children...the parents were killed...two turned out fine...one, is in and out of prision, has already had 4 unwanted children...and has been in drug rehab uncountable times.
While pregnant with my son, I read a book which said, if you don't have control of your child by the time they are five, you never will. I spanked my son, 3 times in his life and I was spanked...and I'm glad my parents were strict and spanked me. Otherwise, I would have been a hand full.
Chrildren today, have no sense of discipline in public, they run around, yell and scream and have not an ounce of respect for the personal property and space of others b/c parents do not know how to parent.
You've got more kids on drugs and taking guns to school, b/c parents do not know how to parent. I was raised in a small town, all our families hunted...I would have never thought to even pick up a gun????? Let alone if I would have, I wouldn't have sat for a week...and I'm exhagerating, but, for God's sake what is wrong with people?????The irony in all of this is...fine, there are really disturbed people out there who want to make it against the law to spank children....yet...they refuse to do anything about all the sexual preditors that are out there? Makes no sense, and I find this the perfect example of our mentality today...we are not getting any smarter, matter of fact, we have regressed when it comes to common sense of parenting. Thanks
Spanking should be legal, but it should be illegal to use an object like a razor strap, a belt, or anything else. If it leaves a mark it should be considered abuse, too. I've only spanked my son twice, and he's turning out okay. I've also taught him to respect adults, teachers, even if they're no good. I've told him about what will happen if he goes to prison. That he'd have to sleep on an either wood or metal bed, sometimes they're padded, though. How he'd have to eat awful food. How he'd have to use the toilet in front of everyone. He's not that kind of kid, though.
Kids should be disciplined, but not with an object other than a hand. If you leave a mark, then you shouldn't be allowed to hit your kid again. Spanking is one thing, but beating is another. A kid shouldn't be smacked more than three times, or else in my opinion, it's beating. So it needs to be made clear, the lines between spanking, beating, and abuse.
Spanking may have insulted you, may have crushed your ego a little, but did you ever think, that maybe that spanking hurt your father more then it hurt you...and he might have been wondering all his life if he did the right thing? It isn't easy to spank your kids...believe me, it takes a lot of thinking about...and I didn't yell much...didn't have to....I wasn't your normal every day mom, that feels she had to explain to her child why? It was Just because I said so....I was the adult, and it was enough for him to know, it wasn't ok.
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I fully disagree with this....just because I said so is NOT an okay reason for someone to not do something and it doesn't teach your children that they need support for their actions and the things they believe in. If you can't provide him a reason I don't see WHY he should listen.
im 16 and was spanked as a child (probably until i was 5 or so)
I think there is nothing wrong with a light hit. Like so it hurts only for a couple of minutes. But i do not think hitting your kid after like 8 is good.
beating your child is never right, disciplining your child should never be illegal, even if it involves a spanking.
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