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Old 02-25-2018, 04:55 PM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Apparently you know best. Sounds kind of judgmental against couples who choose for one spouse to stay home with the kids.
Actually you should reread my comments. I'm talking about couples where both work. Anyway, if a couple decides one will stay home while the other goes out to work it's their choice. I'm just saying that just because history has women staying home doesn't mean that she can do everything at home and work without help for the man.

So is there a reason your defensive? Years ago a friend of mine stayed home but she was always defensive about it, always talking about "heavy duty cleaning". If talking about women who work or don't work makes a woman feel belittled if she's a SAHM then thats an issue he/she has to work on. I used to tell my gf that she had no reason to defend herself because there are women who wish they had the option while there are others who want to work outside the home. It's about choice and if your willing to give up things having a double income will pay for.
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Old 02-25-2018, 05:06 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
4,009 posts, read 6,868,484 times
Reputation: 4608
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
Why would men leave a situation where a wife stepped in and took care of him like his mama did, someone waiting on him plus other benefits and he could also go out and play with other women (also common).

Seriously, there is nothing better than a marriage where both work as a team, bringing home money and sharing household responsibilities. No one likes to be taken advantage of and men or women who think it's ok for the other to carry most if not all of the responsibility at home especially when both work makes for an unhappy marriage. It is true even if the other is not saying so because they realize that their opinion or feelings don't matter. One may be getting away with it for right not but the other taking action is just a matter of time.
I agree with a lot of your opinions, but there is no "one size fits all". I personally don't think there's anything better for me (for now) than being a SAHM, and being there for all of my children's firsts, and teaching and guiding them during their formative years.

However, being a SAHM does have it's challenges and isn't for every woman, but it certainly works best for me.

So, honestly, there is nothing better than a marriage wherein the couple decides what works best for them, whether both parents work, or just one. Every family and situation is different
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Old 02-25-2018, 05:13 PM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatHerder View Post

So, for those who think we should turn back the clock to when women were "happier," I'd say forcing people of either gender into one lifestyle and harkening back to an era of often-stifling limitations, is not a recipe for happiness. Remember when just about the only occupations open to African-Americans were schoolteacher (in black schools only) and custodian? When I read in the newspapers about increases in black-on-black violence in some cities, I don't hear anyone saying African-Americans would be happier if just we returned to the days when Negroes "knew their place."
How many children would be dead if Ben Carson was not allowed to read or get an education. Marie Curie (who fought deep prejudice against women) was a physicist and chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity and was the first to suggest radiotherapy for treatment of cancer. How many would have died if she was relegated to cooking and cleaning.

I agree, there was so much talent wasted in those days because of societal dictates about of women and blacks. Men who wish for the days where women stayed home to wait on them hand and foot or blacks didn't have rights are selfishly thinking only about themselves.
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Old 02-25-2018, 05:17 PM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868
Quote:
Originally Posted by glamatomic View Post
I agree with a lot of your opinions, but there is no "one size fits all". I personally don't think there's anything better for me (for now) than being a SAHM, and being there for all of my children's firsts, and teaching and guiding them during their formative years.

However, being a SAHM does have it's challenges and isn't for every woman, but it certainly works best for me.

So, honestly, there is nothing better than a marriage wherein the couple decides what works best for them, whether both parents work, or just one. Every family and situation is different
This thread isn't about judging a non SAHM or a SAHM. It's about when women who work, by choice or need, and men who refuse to share the work load at home.
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Old 02-25-2018, 06:13 PM
 
21,382 posts, read 7,954,715 times
Reputation: 18156
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
This thread isn't about judging a non SAHM or a SAHM. It's about when women who work, by choice or need, and men who refuse to share the work load at home.
Exactly. This is a male-bashing thread.

Common sense need not apply.

Carry on.
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Old 02-25-2018, 06:27 PM
 
19,966 posts, read 7,881,487 times
Reputation: 6556
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Exactly. This is a male-bashing thread.

Common sense need not apply.

Carry on.
I know right? I got bashed pretty good in this thread when I disagreed with the feminist agenda .
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Old 02-25-2018, 07:25 PM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Exactly. This is a male-bashing thread.

Common sense need not apply.

Carry on.
LOL, it's a thread about the partner do his OR HER share of the workload but if you're guilty of it then ok.
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Old 02-25-2018, 07:28 PM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtl1 View Post
I know right? I got bashed pretty good in this thread when I disagreed with the feminist agenda .
aahh so challenging your thinking is bashing? How dare I challenge you LOL ...

You know, if I were bashing, I'd would say ... because the man doesn't make enough to support the family on his own therefor she has work outside the home to help him do his job yet he doesn't want to help her.

Last edited by petch751; 02-25-2018 at 07:41 PM..
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Old 02-25-2018, 07:48 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
4,009 posts, read 6,868,484 times
Reputation: 4608
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
This thread isn't about judging a non SAHM or a SAHM. It's about when women who work, by choice or need, and men who refuse to share the work load at home.
Yet, your post was judging SAHMs as you stated that

Quote:
there is nothing better than a marriage where both work as a team, bringing home money and sharing household responsibilities
So, you were inferring that the best way is when both partners in the marriage work bringing home money.

If you read back on my previous posts, I strongly advocate choice for a woman- be it staying at home or working. So on that point we are in agreeance.

As for men not sharing the workload at home, again, each family is different. Each family has to figure out what works best for them, and what they're mutually happy with.
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Old 02-26-2018, 03:49 AM
 
41,110 posts, read 25,750,585 times
Reputation: 13868
Quote:
Originally Posted by glamatomic View Post
Yet, your post was judging SAHMs as you stated that



So, you were inferring that the best way is when both partners in the marriage work bringing home money.

If you read back on my previous posts, I strongly advocate choice for a woman- be it staying at home or working. So on that point we are in agreeance.

As for men not sharing the workload at home, again, each family is different. Each family has to figure out what works best for them, and what they're mutually happy with.
Inferring means you read a statement the way you want rather than as it was supposed to be read. I must have touched a nerve. Relax! The best way is the way ALL parties involved are happy. Myself, I'm not cut out for being a SAH. Maybe it's because I've observed women being treated poorly when they are dependent and didn't want to put myself in that position. We all have our reasons for doing what we choose to do.

It appears you might be a recently wed, check back with me in a couple of years I've been married over 25 years WAIT! it will be 30 years in August... I had to get the calculator, (first and only marriage) and it's been good but I've seen other women (and men) suffer. No one is perfect, make your choices carefully.

Last edited by petch751; 02-26-2018 at 04:17 AM..
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