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That would also be my dad, born in 1921. He thought he deserved to be waited on hand and foot and my mother, who came from a family of immigrants, did it because she didn't realize this wasn't normal. For example, she would get up at 5:30 a.m. during the week to pour his cereal in the bowl and the milk on top of it, pour his orange juice in the glass, cut his grapefruit in half, sprinkle it with sugar, and halve a maraschino cherry and place it in the center. No, he wasn't going off to toil in the fields or in a factory, he had a low-stress white collar job promoting safety strategies for his company. And the opportunity to travel all over the world on the company dime. I still don't understand why he wasn't ashamed to be treated like a man-baby. Perhaps because he was an only child doted on by his own mother, who referred to him, even as an adult, as Sonny Boy.
My mother (now 98) likes to reminisce about the good old days. The good old days for her were the 1940s, when she worked, had her own money, traveled, played the field, and had a variety of people to talk to every day. Unlike my MIL, who was reasonably happy in the role while her kids were young, my mother wasn't cut out to be a SAHM and was a self-described nervous wreck until we kids were nearly out of the house. My dad wouldn't "let" her work. We kid were born late in their lives, so by the time we were all out of the house, my dad had retired and they wanted to travel, so she never worked again.
When mom went back to work after 25 years of services as a housewife dad had a bit of an adjustment period. She went to work a few hours before him so OMG he had to fix his own breakfast but she would put two slices of bread in the toaster and lay out two eggs and put sausage or bacon in the skillet for him.
My mother (now 98) likes to reminisce about the good old days. The good old days for her were the 1940s, when she worked, had her own money, traveled, played the field, and had a variety of people to talk to every day. Unlike my MIL, who was reasonably happy in the role while her kids were young, my mother wasn't cut out to be a SAHM and was a self-described nervous wreck until we kids were nearly out of the house. My dad wouldn't "let" her work. We kid were born late in their lives, so by the time we were all out of the house, my dad had retired and they wanted to travel, so she never worked again.
Who doesn't like to reminisce about when they were young? I could tell some stories too. Then you grow up and take on responsibilities and if you have children that is the greatest responsibility. My mom had "spinster" friends from that era who never married or had kids. They managed to make their way, so no one can say there was no choice.
Who doesn't like to reminisce about when they were young? I could tell some stories too. Then you grow up and take on responsibilities and if you have children that is the greatest responsibility. My mom had "spinster" friends from that era who never married or had kids. They managed to make their way, so no one can say there was no choice.
Did someone say there was no choice?
I think the point being made is that prior to and in the 1950's and 1960's educational and career choices were very limited especially for those who chose to marry and even more so for those who had children.
The fact that you refer to your moms single friends as spinsters says much. What was the age then when women were considered spinsters, 30?
Did someone say there was no choice?
I think the point being made is that prior to and in the 1950's and 1960's educational and career choices were very limited especially for those who chose to marry and even more so for those who had children.
The fact that you refer to your moms single friends as spinsters says much. What was the age then when women were considered spinsters, 30?
Notice "spinster" was put in quotes. That was the formal term for a never married woman then. Later we called them swinging singles.
Did someone say there was no choice?
I think the point being made is that prior to and in the 1950's and 1960's educational and career choices were very limited especially for those who chose to marry and even more so for those who had children.
The fact that you refer to your moms single friends as spinsters says much. What was the age then when women were considered spinsters, 30?
Exactly. Women had some, but very limited, choice. And those choices were dictated for the most part by what their fathers and/or husbands would allow or what jobs their level of education made possible.
My mother was the validictorian of her HS class. Clearly she was bright. But, my grandfather didn’t believe in education past HS for women. He could have easily afforded to send her to college, but said what was the point when she was just going to get married and have kids. He wouldn’t even agree to a secretarial course or nursing program and those were man approved female occupations. Sure a few women had parents or husbands that encouraged them beyond homemaking, but they were few and far between.
He told my parents the same thing when they said I was going to college. In his world view marriage, kids, cooking, cleaning and serving ones husband was the pinnacle of female achievement. Thank goodness my parents didn’t listen and I, as the first female college degree holder in my family, had choices my mother never did.
because family doesn't matter to today's feminists.
Because in order to a be a feminist you MUST WORK.
Just because I do not want to have either a husband or kids DOES NOT mean family is not important to me. That is quite a crock of excrement you are spewing.
And yes, I work. If I didn't I'd be bored out of my skull.
And my $$$ remains my own, and I have the final say over what the "optional" household bills are going to be (cable/Wifi or none, landline or cell phone, vacations taken or none, credit cards and what they are used for, etc.). If I need to re-prioritize my spending in some way, I can just do it, and not have to consult with someone else first, or listen to "But MOM...!" whining about it.
And that spinster was the formal term for an unmarried women beyond the "usual age" for marriage says much.
Actually swing singles denotes sexual promiscuity and refers to both women and men.
I've always heard unmarried women in those days referred to a an "old maid", a social stigma associated with being an unmarried woman at 30.. hmm... think about that. First coined in the 14th century, the term “spinster” was originally used to describe a woman (typically unmarried) who spun thread for a living.
Just because I do not want to have either a husband or kids DOES NOT mean family is not important to me. That is quite a crock of excrement you are spewing.
And yes, I work. If I didn't I'd be bored out of my skull.
And my $$$ remains my own, and I have the final say over what the "optional" household bills are going to be (cable/Wifi or none, landline or cell phone, vacations taken or none, credit cards and what they are used for, etc.). If I need to re-prioritize my spending in some way, I can just do it, and not have to consult with someone else first, or listen to "But MOM...!" whining about it.
Don't you know your very existence is supposed to be about getting married, having kids and waiting on your DH at his every whim. What's wrong with you? <sarcasm> LOL
Hey I'm with you.
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