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Why isn't there such a think as Toxic Femininity, or "Womansplaining"? Both exist, but hardly ever discussed.
Mostly because it's a false-equivalence.
But there absolutely is a such thing as toxic femininity and it can be explained in much the same way as toxic masculinity. Again, the toxicity isn't the genetic traits - it's how those traits are bastardized, misconstrued, and turned into something unrecognizable. The "damsel in distress" trope is an example of turning a genetic trait of being less physically strong into the idea that women are weak, incomplete, and/or incapable of taking care of themselves without a man to do the heavy lifting. Another incredibly relevant example of "toxic" femininity is the idea that women, on principle, are incapable of lying about sexual assault and must be believed simply because they're women. Obviously, that isn't true.
There are ways to go along with the gender-specified status quo happily, without participating in toxicity.
Please don't put words in my mouth. I pointed out the idea of toxic masculinity and the superiority complex that some men have as a societal problem - not as something that afflicts all men across the board. And when I talk about toxic masculinity, I'm not talking about genetic masculine traits ... I'm talking about toxic masculinity, which is the socially constructed idea that men are violent, unemotional, and sexually aggressive by default, with no choice in the matter. The "boys will be boys" mantra being but one example of this.
Toxic masculinity is, believe it or not, harmful to boys and men as well. The pillars of masculinity, like strength, endurance, assertiveness, confidence, and the innate desire to provide and protect are beautiful and should be celebrated. Men are allowed to be emotional, vulnerable, sensitive, and empathetic. The toxicity comes in when these are ignored or suppressed in favor of the "jerk" mentality.
that'll be stamped out of boys who grow into males by the single moms and the female teachers in elementary/middle/high school.
Men still dominate, this culture is basically enabled by other men to politically destroy their opponents. Female power is illusory, let's face it as soon as men stop playing nice, then it's all over.
Don’t be too sure about that.
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Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens
Dr. Martin Luther King, a minister, would disagree.
MLK is an anomaly.
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Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
AA has formally been around for nearly 60 years. Policies were developed to address long histories of discrimination faced by minorities and women which created an unfair advantage for white males.
Private employers are not subject to quotas ( targets) unless court- ordered due to pervasive discrimination.
In the 70’s...
I am old enough to remember being told there were ( office) jobs women could not do and males being awarded higher raises because they had families to support. Same deal for promotions.
I am old enough to remember customers declining training because the trainer was black.
I am old enough to remember restaurants declining entry to women during lunch.
I am old enough to remember the “ businessman’s lunch special.
I am old enough to remember corporate travel policies that required females to share hotel rooms.
I am old enough to remember males attributing any woman in a more senior position as having slept her way to the spot.
I could go on for pages.
Yep. And it wasn’t all that long ago. The vestiges are still with us.
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Originally Posted by Pilot1
It isn't like that ANYMORE, and hasn't been for years. Stop living in the PAST. The past is gone, and can't be changed. Stop doing things to the people of TODAY to make up for things in the PAST.
It's not a war on men at all. It's a war on the system that allows jerks to rise up to power that don't belong there. They get there based not on merit, but because they are part of a system that allows it and even encourages their rise.. Has nothing to do w/ Democrats or Republicans per say. Can be in both parties.
This is a very important point.
Men, in particular, are rewarded for being part of the “club.”
Oftentimes, becoming a member of the club requires participation in abhorrent rituals like hazing and the like.
Too many people want to believe that this behavior is all in the “past.”
It isn’t.
Search for “hazing” and see how many current examples are returned.
There is a legacy of “lord of the flies” behavior in high school athletics, in college fraternities, in boardrooms all over the country.
So, yes - "not all men" is absolutely correct. But with that said, it's important that all men do their best to understand this privilege, recognize it for what it is and choose to behave differently. It's important that all men be willing to listen to the experiences of women without automatically and defiantly exclaiming that they should not be lumped in. It's important for all men to be willing to shut their own mouths, take a seat, and give women the opportunity to tell their own stories.
This right here is the problem. Keep telling me to shut my mouth and take a seat when I've done nothing wrong. I don't often make "you" statements but I feel confident in saying people like you are what is causing the divide in this country. It's truly sad.
Fox News and their pastors tell them that though day after day and week after week and since they live in an echo chamber, they've seen little to make them question their indoctrination. If you want to see the world these people live in, watch "God's Not Dead" or it's even worse sequel, "God's Not Dead 2."
I absolutely don't wish for any man to feel guilty or responsible for the actions of others, any more than I wish for all white people walking the earth in 2018 to feel guilty and responsible for slavery. I simply wish that there existed an understanding among you that there is a diseased culture perpetuated by the idea of masculine superiority and misogyny that is very harmful.
I just want the men I talk with to listen and to say, "Hey, I get it. I know that there are a lot of guys out there who behave terribly and I know that makes a lot of women feel afraid. I'm sorry that those men have made it seem like all of us are this way. I am not this man and I will do what I can, in words and in actions, to make the world safer for the girls and women in my life. It would be really easy for me to participate in the harmful behavior, the degrading speech, and/or the demeaning jokes in the locker room, but I am choosing not to."
That is all I want. It isn't an admission of guilt, it's an admission of compassion and humility.
White men definitely have more privilege than any other group in the US, but there are plenty of instances where they are at the bottom of the totem pole. I hate when people act like white men don't face any challenges of their own. Below are some examples of where men have challenges.
Go to a playground as a single father and see how everyone reacts. My single dad friend has had women ask his daughter "Do you know this man?" and threaten to call the police for sitting on a bench at the playground while his daughter plays.
Men are required to register for Selective Service, women are not.
99% of the time, the mom will get custody of the child, even if the dad is a better parent.
Women can play the victim for police and 99% of the time they are believed and the man is sent to jail.
Society believes men cannot be raped or sexually assaulted. If they report it, they aren't taken seriously.
Women can get away with assaulting men in public.
75% of homeless people are men. There are many shelters for women and children, but not as many for men.
If a female teacher gets caught in a relationship with a minor student, she usually gets a slap on the wrist. The male student who was "lucky enough" to hook up with a teacher is cheered. If a male is caught, he faces jail time and is seen as a pervert.
Black men face even more discrimination and societal issues than white men.
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