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Can't agree to go that far. I've said that people should disclose their biological sex before initiating sexual encounters, however, if someone failed to do that, I can't see simply being offended at their sex when they remove their clothing as a sex crime on par with say forcible rape. You can still decline at that point and tell them to leave. That's not really appreciably different than declining sex when someone shows up who had lied about other aspects of themselves, such as their age, weight, or appearance. I've definitely had the latter happen before.
Some people would be more than just "offended". For some people is could be a disgusting even immoral act. It is a sex crime.
*Shrug* in this great big world of sexual predators, roofies, HIV etc. you need to take responsibility for protecting yourself first and foremost. Criminal charges or not after the fact are not the first line of defense.
I do wonder if you change the scenario to a straight guy pretending to be a lesbian how many people might answer differently.
There cannot be consent if the person giving the consent is deceived.
As I said that has not been significantly addressed in legal code. Deceit and fraud could be a multitude of things. Where does one draw the line at informed consent. While looking at such cases men have been tried for pretending to be a pilot, medical doctor and Jewish bachelor interested in a long-term relationship. I'm not sure the legislators or general public are ready to quantify rape by fraud.
Where is personal responsibility?
I find it amusing recently there was a thread about a young mother and her children who were murdered by a man she allowed in her house. He was an old ex boyfriend who had committed a crime and escaped a low security half way house. Many posters blamed her for her bad choices in intimate partners, choosing "bad boys" stating she learned her lesson now. And here we have people making all sorts of excuses for people (men) for whom they choose to sleep with, putting the blame on the victim for non informed disclosure thus voiding their responsibility for consent . Perhaps they should charge the escapee with rape as well as murder since I'm sure he did not disclose the fact the he was a murderer, but insisted he was trying to turn his life around.
As I said that has not been significantly addressed in legal code. Deceit and fraud could be a multitude of things. Where does one draw the line at informed consent. While looking at such cases men have been tried for pretending to be a pilot, medical doctor and Jewish bachelor interested in a long-term relationship. I'm not sure the legislators or general public are ready to quantify rape by fraud.
Where is personal responsibility?
I find it amusing recently there was a thread about a young mother and her children who were murdered by a man she allowed in her house. He was an old ex boyfriend who had committed a crime and escaped a low security half way house. Many posters blamed her for her bad choices in intimate partners, choosing "bad boys" stating she learned her lesson now. And here we have people making all sorts of excuses for people (men) for whom they choose to sleep with, putting the blame on the victim for non informed disclosure thus voiding their responsibility for consent . Perhaps they should charge the escapee with rape as well as murder since I'm sure he did not disclose the fact the he was a murderer, but insisted he was trying to turn his life around.
How do you not get that the biological sexual makeup of a person is fundamental to the sexual act whereas things income, criminal history, marital status, and whatnot might matter emotionally but are not fundamental to the type of sexual activity that is going to be engaged in? It is about the difference between social constructs and biology. Gender is a social construct, sex is biological. Dating is a social construct, sexual activity is biological.
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I know a transgendered young woman who frequently discusses issues such as this on FB. Her assertion is that she is a woman in every way, and as such doesn’t feel the need to share her trans sexuality with potential suitors. She also calls men who do not wish to date her “transphobic”, along with plenty of other colorful names. She has had a couple bad experiences with straight men that she pursued, only to have them decline her offers due to her trans sexuality.
I don’t bother any longer trying to explain that there is some dishonesty going on on her part. Her sexuality and subsequent issues after all are hers to deal with in my opinion, not everyone else’s. She wants to complain but doesn’t really want advice. Ok then. I’ve warned her however that abuse of transwomen sometimes stems from this type of duplicity, and leave it at that.
In that case, I think she should accept the same answer men need to learn- no means no and it is an entire sentence. No one owes you an explanation for why they do not want to have sex with you. A simply (and preferably kindly delivered) 'no' should suffice.
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