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I know lots of people in their 20s and 30s and all have BF/GF, and/or are getting married.
At a certain point, these lonely/sexless people are going to have to look in the mirror.
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Things don't seem to have changed at all for my 19 year old grandson, my 20 year old grandson or my 45 year old son today. They all have girlfriends. When half of young people today are not in a relationship and half are, which half should you be looking at if you would like to be in a relationship? Just do what they do. This thread seems to be full of rationalizations why the posters can't have a relationship. What about the half of the country that has one? Most are not rich or fit or beautiful. They are just regular people.
This song was written in 1931 at the height of the great Depression and the build up to WWII. It was true then, and has been true ever since. "As Time Goes By", sung by Rod Stewart and Chrissie Hynde.
I also have a 24 year old and 20 year old grandsons (and sons), as well as a bunch of nephews in that age range. No problem making friends or meeting girls/women, dating or being in relationships or even marrying. Same for the few nieces I have and all these kids friends I know. So as much as things have changed since 1972, they have also stayed the same.
A big problem that people have, on this forum and elsewhere, is thinking that "well, if everything is fine in my own little bubble, then they must be fine everywhere else too." That is not the case.
I am in my forties and I have never been asked on a date. I have had to live with no companionship.
At my late age the available men are trash anyway. They mess around. They do drugs. They commit crimes and frequent the jail. A lot of them don't bathe and stink. Low lifes.
I have tried online dating but no luck there. They are just looking for a woman to have sex with and I am not like that.
Since I have never been with anyone then I can never be guilty of cheating on anyone. I have never tried drugs. I am better than what could ever be available now anyway.
You definitely hang out with the wrong crowd if this is all you see from men. I am a little older than you, don't do drugs, commit crimes or go to jail. I bathe, don't stink and even just shaved my long beard off. You're judging all men on just a few low lifes.
Last edited by Joe the Photog; 05-02-2022 at 03:12 PM..
In my case I had guys interested in me when I was younger and after I finally escaped the thing. They would see my biracial daughter and disappear.
The only men that were interested after learning about my daughter were black men. I hadn't wanted to be with one in the first place. And they were just wanting sex, not a relationship. I have never been the type of person to do that with someone that I didn't even know.
At my age now the only men interested in me are criminal, drugged up trash. The decent men are settled down with families. I have done nothing wrong enough for me to have to associate with filth.
Well, it could not be because you broad stroke all men with the same brush. Decent men get divorced, too.
Last edited by Joe the Photog; 05-02-2022 at 04:10 PM..
I don't disagree. But you better be ready to provide for them. The blonde Norwegian I once dated had a very expensive taste and I got tired of spending the money.
It depends on the country and city. Living in a rural part of Germany is different than living in an urban part of Berlin. Living in an rural part of Poland is different than living in an urban part of Tokyo.
But the fact is that your odds still greatly increase abroad simply by being an American, because the notion that "westerners who live overseas must be doing well" is still prevalent.
I'm in Germany right now, do you think I could just swipe on bumble, go on a hot date, and hook up this week with some local? No. Do you think if I took a quick flight to Madrid, Barcelona, Budapest, Amsterdam, or Dubai I could do it? Yes.
Yes there indeed are parts of the world where hooking up with local women as an American male is rather easy to do .
That said when it comes to the issue of forming serious relationships with foreign women , American males face a huge set of challenges related to differences in ( f.ex ) culture among other things , that especially apply in countries outside of the Anglosphere .
Of course I have no clue about how things are regarding this in ( say ) Latin America or Southeast Asia , but I do have some insight/experience regarding Eastern Europe and I must say that dating over here isn't at all easy for an American male especially if he longs for the company of non " gold digger " or " looking for a short adventurous fling with an exotic man " type women .
As you've mentioned in your post , the mere fact of being American will indeed attract certain types of women in this part of the world , however they oftentimes aren't the sort of women any man looking for a serious relationship wants to be involved with .
Granted I can very much understand why a young unsuccessful with women back home compatriot of mine would go bonkers while visiting/living here in many cases , but once you hit my age interacting with all the out and out " gold digger " types or even the college girls who want to practice their English/have a brief adventurous fling becomes rather tiresome .
Now that's not to say that all the PUA types who are based in this region aren't right in their own way , since they wouldn't be based here otherwise , nor that a hedonistic " get with as many women as possible " outlook is inherently bad yet the fact remains that many American expat males aren't looking for that .
And many who remain and attempt to form serious relationships with local women oftentimes fail from what I've seen , since the societal/cultural/call them what you will differences between Americans and East Central Europeans oftentimes prove to be too much of a hurdle for mixed couples of that sort to metaphorically get over .
The hurdles which may potentially apply to interracial relationships in the USA are ( IMHO ) nothing compared to those which exist in the case of an American entering into a relationship with an East Central European , since Americans of different racial backgrounds are still much more on the same ( for lack of a better term ) " wavelength " in spite of their differences , but I think I must digress .
Last edited by William Blakeley; 05-02-2022 at 02:56 PM..
To be blunt you seem to be reading things into my comments that I am not saying......please stop that.
1. Per the last part good for you. And obviously my point wasn't that no men are willing to work hard and work smart etc. only proportionally fewer than in that past.
2. Per your second point you wrote allure but meant lure likely......anyway I don't know. Most likely it's just not cool with the educational establishment to offer male only or male preferred scholarships in any quantity.
3. I never said or implied anything about masters degrees or selective individual programs. As a matter of fact I I noted that men dominate most areas within STEM. What I did say is that many selective colleges have begun treating men as a cadre as an underrepresented group.
It takes 5 seconds to Google up a bunch of bit like this.....
1. Proportionally fewer men than in the past are willing to work in manual labor? Is this because of our shifting economy in this country meaning that the necessity for this kind of work is dwindling in our society? I know about the decline in labor participation rate, but is this due to a shifting economy and coming out of a time with unprecedented economic growth in America due to less competition with other industrialized nations?
2. Point taken, should’ve said lure. So it is only a handful of colleges actually lowering admission standards for men, not the wide spread phenomenon you painted it to be.
3. I didn’t say you said that, just imploring if you were speaking about something that may have been captured under that. I have seen many people throw that bogus stat out to try to say there is discrimination against women in the admissions process to many master’s degree programs. I liken it to the often touted pay gap talking point that all of a sudden multivariate analysis is no longer needed when presenting such a study.
I'm sure all the gender confusion being pumped into young people's minds by the government isn't helping this situation... It must be excruciating being the 52nd gender and waiting for someone of the opposite gender, whatever the heck that might be... Or are they attracted to their own gender??? Do we even know how all this stuff works yet?
There are only 52 genders? I thought there were at least 100.
A big problem that people have, on this forum and elsewhere, is thinking that "well, if everything is fine in my own little bubble, then they must be fine everywhere else too." That is not the case.
Everything is fine mostly in my little bubble, but I do have 2 nephews, 1 40 and 1 20 and I don't see them ever finding a mate. They stayed isolated growing up, never joined anything, never dated, played computer games. The 40 year old still hasn't launched, stays home with his parents. When my grown kids took him to a beach he was so awkward approaching women and staring at them that they had to whisk him out of there before he was arrested.
I will suggest this, join something or do something where you meet men and women. Whether it's work, church, a sport or volunteering. That's how most couples connect once they're out of school besides some of the good dating apps.
It seems like it is happening to everyone. Women have accepted they are not going to get a loving relationship because all men want is sex and then do not want to get married.
I think there has to be a reckoning. The relationship model we have doesn't work right anymore and we need to come up with something new.
For 500 + years women couldn't work and needed to be cared for. So men were bribed to marry them. They got a woman to have their children and a person to have sex with, but, they had to care for their wives for life and there was no divorce.
Once women could work and once divorce was around, things went belly up. Women simply don't have the desire for sex like men do and they aren't going to put up with it because they no longer get a big reward for it.
I agree we are on a dangerous path.
Due respect towards you and the OP. Women could and did work. No man was bribed to marry them unless you believe the dominant paradigm of growth to be bribery. We cared and care for our wives because we adore them, not all the time, geez but we do. That bond yields pride in bringing "home the $bacon$) and making a safe and relatively comfortable home for our children. It is a deeply satisfying feeling and gives stability to our worlds. Women may have chosen to work but the choice was due to economic drives that it took TWO incomes to pay for homes, no longer ONE income.
At that point traditional bonds were upended and it spawned dramatic changes in our country. The rights of individuals became paramount, from the unborn to the dying person and everyone in between. Individual choice and liberty became a battle cry for many good reasons....but it left a gap of simply wanting companionship. As well, children now coming home to empty homes without a welcoming smile became lost in seas of darkness. Crime increased, terrible crimes began and culture wars ensued. To ameliorate the masses, the technology offered solutions but that distanced all of us even more.
And....here we all are. Alone, constantly clicking to agitate our dopamine receptors and realizing that while satisfying it is empty, porous as Swiss cheese and lacking in the touch and intimacy of a partner who we share popcorn, world travels, joys and pain. Lonely.
But the truth is, and it really is the truth, that we are interconnected, part of one another like a river of time distance and desire. So reach out my young patriots of love. Go to Museums, join the Yacht club, sit outdoors in the sun and chat it up with strangers and friends and as you yearn for the one person who you like and who likes you back ....celebrate your unanimity with one another.
Be bold. Faint heart never won fair lady....and I guess the reverse is true too now a days.
Raise a glass. We are miracles.
Last edited by AADAD; 05-02-2022 at 03:33 PM..
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