Why is it so hard to make good friends in Portland? (Tualatin: fit in, sales)

[JonathanLB]

Wow I’ve heard that from other people, what a bunch of weirdos. I make conversation with everyone I meet, I like to laugh and joke around about random things, it won’t hurt you lol.

[pdxMIKEpdx]

In a lot of places in northern europe and russia, people would think you were a nut, or something was wrong with you mentally. I guess it is all relative to your location and it's culture.

[TheTimidBlueBars]

I think the key to turning casual acquaintances into actual friends is frequency of contact. The OP is right, once a month ain't gonna cut it. The activities where I've made all the friends I know here in Reno are the ones that meet more like once a week.

[SouthernBound14]

Originally Posted by Tia616

I don't think it's a Portland thing, because I have a hard time making friends here where I am in Glendale, AZ. I try to make friends from work and exchange numbers so we can hang out sometime but they never message me or write me back when I do, or want to hang out with me. And I was told by a local that people here like to stick with there own friends and don't like to add people to it. So it's kinda like being back in high school! I've always had a hard time making friends because I am different, and for other reasons that I don't know! But I think it also has to do with people becoming anti-social because of technology, I've had a dad tell me that his son will go hang out with his friends and they would all just be on their phones? Or walking around with their faces in their phones. That's just my opinion.

Arizona is northernized and Californicated to high degrees too now. Vegas is the cheapest option in the SW now it looks like too.. maybe Tucson but it would blow.



If theres anywhere anything like the provincialism in my homestate (Mass) or maybe even worse in adult years, its here. Many 50 yr olds in the area seem to be like teens but in a not so good way, they don't look young so its all the bad stuff about being young these adults have. And many people like top 50 music for somewhere where they like to tout the good alternative/indie music scene. Seems to be more in Austin and events like Bonnaroo in "backwards" Tennessee. I am hard pressed to find anyone who likes Andrew Bird or Sufjan Stevens in most of the Portland area. Even people who like jam bands like Moe seems rare too.. wow.

[harrishawke]

Having lived all over the country, I think it has more to do with the person than anything else (even with the subtle cultural differences). If you have something to offer, and have an attractive personality, you should be able to find friends. If your not, you need to work harder at it or put yourself out there more.

[SouthernBound14]

Originally Posted by harrishawke

Having lived all over the country, I think it has more to do with the person than anything else (even with the subtle cultural differences). If you have something to offer, and have an attractive personality, you should be able to find friends. If your not, you need to work harder at it or put yourself out there more.

I get that but what if some of the people really are uglier inside even if on the outside its harder to see.. That possibility is always around too. I just see this area as miserable most of the time. Its not just me either. And trust me where I come from, they aren't great either but here, its turned up an extra few notches on the antisocial, apathetic liberals who will outright hate anyone not like them or center lefts who hide it better or just don't make eye contact period which the burbs seem to have more of these like Tualatin area, then conservative wingnut who also don't like those who see things any bit different too, consumerism are all pushed up notches no matter how much they want to make it seem green or friendly. The center lefts though are all over where I'm from and many populate the suburbs here like I stated, but the rest of those are more extreme than where I come from too. If this all makes sense.

[Minervah]

Although I'm technically not back in the Midwest (Great Lakes Region to be exact) I have found the same type of friendliness here as I felt there. This was never the same in Portland when I relocated there from Chicago in the 70's.

I eventually made good friends in Portland but it took me a long time to feel accepted. In Cleveland as in Chicago, I found it much easier because people here just seem to be more open and accepting.

[SouthernBound14]

Originally Posted by Minervah

Although I'm technically not back in the Midwest (Great Lakes Region to be exact) I have found the same type of friendliness here as I felt there. This was never the same in Portland when I relocated there from Chicago in the 70's.

I eventually made good friends in Portland but it took me a long time to feel accepted. In Cleveland as in Chicago, I found it much easier because people here just seem to be more open and accepting.

Ya even in TX too its better than Oregon and some people have criticisms for Texas too sometimes. At least its real though even if say Austin is comparable to Portland and the place I'd be least apt to move to.
I once considered it up there with Portland though as high consideration material. I mighta been better off if I had because if Austin didn't work say, at least I could find other spots in TX with enough going on. What else is there in Oregon, Salem? Eugene? Ashland? Beaverton I'll even put in that company too.



The midwest is friendly including Nebraska, Indiana, but one thing that would keep me out of those is the cold. I won't lie. I liked Indiana style pizza much when I tried it actually. It was better than the majority of Portland pizza you'll find. Dean Martin also from there.


But know what else, the newcomers in Portland don't make a huge effort either to socialize now. So its like a place full of outcasts, the newcomers have some oregonian traits I feel and since they act similar, by default they might be accepted in an anti social non connected way. They don't care, the others around them dont kinda thing. Its hard here.. its just as provincial as the east coast but just without the charisma. I call Portland, Boston light.

[Illinois00]

Wow!! I am a black female who is looking into relocating to Portland. I’m tired of Iowa because of racist remarks against my people. This white guy is obviously jealous as you have stated. Really reconsidering now. Shaking My Head

[Minervah]

When will people learn that the reputation awards are not for sending messages other than agreement of a comment?

Someone sent me this today in response to a statement I made on April 12. I have no idea what it's even supposed to mean. What's it to do with making friends in different places?

And why after several months, am I now getting this?

Anyway, here's the comment. I wish the person who wrote it would respond and explain as to why they sent this.

this has been discussed at some length: //www.city-data.com/forum/gener...l#post55187020