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No, therapy heals the spirit. Please cite the study that says 'most never find a happy life and decent career and it's not for lack of trying... the feeling of worthlessness is too overwhelming and no amount of love and caring can take it away'. Some people seek help and some don't but it is no different than a heart disease. If you let it progress it will kill you, but if you treat it, it heals.
Sometimes therapapy heals the spirit sometimes it doesn't. It depends on the individual..they must want to truly face the past..talk through it, and want help.
Denial is truly a terrible thing..some people say "the past is the past." Well when someone lives in denial, he/she will never have a future..most people take it out in different ways. However, the most common is anger..deniel will eat at someones soul and he/she will ever be happy. Or it will come out in addiction, or other personality disorders.
I've told some of my friends to get help..they still live in denial and they will never live the life they deserve..it's sad really. But sometimes they don't see how dysfunctional they are.
Exscapegoat,
good for you for keeping up with facing the past, its hard work but sounds like progress for you.
I was amazed this woman imagined her deceased parents as 'godlike authorities'. I assumed most got over that delusion once they got to age 20.
Well, if parents admit being human/fallible, it's probably a lot easier. If they deny their own actions/behaviors, it can mess with the target's perception of reality. Even with a sibling as a witness, my mother will still deny things. One of the reasons family scapegoats get into trouble in dysfunctional families is because they insist on "truth telling". Which isn't so popular among dysfunctional families. Often, the choice is go along with the parent(s)'s reality or be case out of the family. In the long run, it's healthier to get away from such people, but it can take a lot of time/effort
Sometimes therapapy heals the spirit sometimes it doesn't. It depends on the individual..they must want to truly face the past..talk through it, and want help.
Denial is truly a terrible thing..some people say "the past is the past." Well when someone lives in denial, he/she will never have a future..most people take it out in different ways. However, the most common is anger..deniel will eat at someones soul and he/she will ever be happy. Or it will come out in addiction, or other personality disorders.
I've told some of my friends to get help..they still live in denial and they will never live the life they deserve..it's sad really. But sometimes they don't see how dysfunctional they are.
Or projection: as in, if she was a 'black sheep" she would constantly follow this theme if I was dioscussing other people, i.e a friend. (She couldnt comprehend any thing ouside her own little realm of experience)
According to the person in my example, she really had no self-awarenesss, and I find this sad, esp. at an advanced age.
It prolly does explain her isolation, and lack of friends though
Or projection: as in, if she was a 'black sheep" she would constantly follow this theme if I was dioscussing other people, i.e a friend. (She couldnt comprehend any thing ouside her own little realm of experience)
According to the person in my example, she really had no self-awarenesss, and I find this sad, esp. at an advanced age.
It prolly does explain her isolation, and lack of friends though
True...(sorry about the mis- spelling)..
I also believe that what people believe to be true does come true...if you believe you are a loser..well you will become a loser...
Everyone has a cross to bear..if she was a victim of sexual abuse though..well her cross will be quite heavy...
I also believe that what people believe to be true does come true...if you believe you are a loser..well you will become a loser...
Everyone has a cross to bear..if she was a victim of sexual abuse though..well her cross will be quite heavy...
Re "Sexual abuse, she wasn't. If that were the case, it is a different realm of reality, and I wouldnt judge at all...
I felt she lost alot of potential growth by defending deceased parents (from over 40 years ago) It was very sad. Her parents were verbally abusive, and her father had untreated PTSD.
Denial is the refusal to acknowledge the existence or severity of unpleasant external realities or internal thoughts and feelings.
My childhood was far from perfect. My parents could be controlling and my Dad had periodic rage-attacks. (I ran away from home 3 times as a teenager.)...But we had good times too and a strong bond that always brought us back together...During my 30's I processed my "leftover anger" from the past. I "blew" it all "out!" (I cussed and cursed and worked hard to get it out of my system the best I could.)...And in the end I felt more accepting and forgiving towards my parents...Yes they made mistakes when I was growing-up. But I realized that I made mistakes all along the way too. (Even with my own kids.)...Everyone who speaks fondly about their parents isn't necessarily in denial. Some people have worked hard to deal with their old anger so they could put it behind them and "heal."
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