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The thing about smoking as a few have said: it's pointless to try if you don't want really want to. Ohh sure you know you need to. You can rattle off a million reasons why you know you should.
But if you really don't want to.... you won't.
I speak from experience. I quit 10-20 times. Never for long. Always had a hard time.
I ENJOY SMOKING! Deep down I didn't want to quit. I loved it.
Then one day... after countless times trying I woke up one day, coughing. Got into my stinky car. Went to light up. And put it down. I was done. Didn't want to anymore.
Now I did have a few setbacks after that but bottom line... you really have to want to quit as is true of many things.
The thing about smoking as a few have said: it's pointless to try if you don't want really want to. Ohh sure you know you need to. You can rattle off a million reasons why you know you should.
But if you really don't want to.... you won't.
I speak from experience. I quit 10-20 times. Never for long. Always had a hard time.
I ENJOY SMOKING! Deep down I didn't want to quit. I loved it.
Then one day... after countless times trying I woke up one day, coughing. Got into my stinky car. Went to light up. And put it down. I was done. Didn't want to anymore.
Now I did have a few setbacks after that but bottom line... you really have to want to quit as is true of many things.
My close to same experience and I agree. Your brain has to tell you it's time and the will seems to fall in place....if that makes any sense. People that knew me could not believe that I could ever, ever quit smoking, I was such a chimney. Then, one day, it's was like, "okay, it's time...." It was hard, at first, very hard but, the will just seem to be there this time.
I do NOT want to drink at all as I feel I can not control my drinking. One glass turns to 5 ( I don't see the signs insert smack & disgusted sign here!!)
So far, I have not gotten into trouble with the law which is great but I have driven to work hung over.
My problem is that the SO feels he needs a drink to""relax"" after work but since I can no longer control myself, instead of having 1 glass of wine to ""relax"" with him it turns into 5.
Plus I'm having all sorts of health issues!
Plus if I divorce the SO I am bound to face financial issues.
So my relief is the bottle. Stupid I know. Please dont crucify me I know I'm a bird already. I don't need that thrown to my face I already know it. But I need constructive criticism.
My idea would be that if the SO ONLY needs one or two glasses to ""relax"" (insert sarcasm here"") then his needs are inferior to mine because his need to ""relax"" has pledged me into a full time alcoholic. He needs a glass or two & his need for a glass or two leads me to 5 UNWANTED glasses?
Thoughts?
Well, I think you are going to have to proceed with what you need to do REGARDLESS of what the SO is or isn't doing.
My ex used the "relax" code word for drinking, too.
Whenever someone decides to change drinking habits there is going to be pushback and issues from those who resent that you are messing up the "system" that works for them. Again, you are going to have to make your decisions about drinking based SOLELY on you.
Not easy, so don't expect it to be.
Here's a place you might want to go for some online support.
Well, I think you are going to have to proceed with what you need to do REGARDLESS of what the SO is or isn't doing.
My ex used the "relax" code word for drinking, too.
Whenever someone decides to change drinking habits there is going to be pushback and issues from those who resent that you are messing up the "system" that works for them. Again, you are going to have to make your decisions about drinking based SOLELY on you.
Not easy, so don't expect it to be.
Here's a place you might want to go for some online support.
True at the end of the day thats what this comes to!
So far my liver looks good! On a bad day I can down 2-2and half bottles at night. I don't get me. I do NOT drink during the day but I dont know what it is about night time that I feel the need to drink? Anyone else had a similar experience?
Now regarding drugs, I cant explain this but there were times when I was younger & wasted on alcohol & I had free offers for Coke etc. As drunk as I was I ALWAYS said no to hard drugs so I dont understand this alcohol dependance.
I never really smoked much, I started drinking my sophomore year in college and at first it was every weekend and to the point of blacking out. I at first just drank on the weekends but by senior year(all 2 of them) I ended up drinking on light class days where I would get home at noon and just get bored and want to get drunk...After 5 years I finally graduated and knew I needed to grow up and then by my mid 20's my body kind of rejected the booze, I could never get drunk or even drink socially or light...I have not had a drink in years and not have any desire too. I guess it was just the 'college thing' where I wanted to sow some wild oats!
Wow, that's almost my same story. I started drinking at the end of my freshman year. I was completely enamored by the drinking/partying culture and I drank heavily, socially through my junior year. I had been getting a lot of attention for being a perpetual blackout and I lived in a fraternity where drinking was essentially a sport. By the time my senior year rolled around, my fellow seniors had moved away from partying and were pretty focused on school and their career preparation. Meanwhile I was drinking alone, skipping classes, getting behind in life. I had to do an additional year of school and I barely graduated as I spent my super-senior year depressed, unmotivated, and unsuccessfully trying to lay off the booze. Moved back in with my parents and wanted to grow up, move on in life.
It is a proven fact that some people just cannot drink and several on here appear to be those some people. That's good if you can recognize it. Also, don't forget, alcoholism is a progressive disease. It takes more and more to maintain that alcohol buzz or whatever you are seeking.
I started drinking somewhere about 38 or so. I had been a single parent for many years, worked really, really hard and had little outside support. Also, there was much tragedy in my family for about 8-9 years during that time. I think I just held such a tight rein on myself and everything, I finally began drinking for some relief. It really snowballed and I almost lost everything I had worked really hard for. One day I woke up and said, I better get my shxx together or I was going to be a real loser. Being the survivor that I always have been, I did stop drinking.
I have a daughter who is an alcoholic, a son who is a functioning alcoholic and another daughter who is in danger of slipping off into alcoholism. All of these adult children are successful, well educated, middle aged people who I love very much. But I understand, now, why my mother grieved over her 4 sons that were high functioning alcoholics who were individually successful in life. WEll, one not so much. Yet neither of my parents drank.
For me, I knew I could not let myself be a slave to alcohol. My DH drinks but I do not let that become my problem. I can only control my behavior. But, like the smoking, I had to be at a point that I wanted to quit.
I am 50 and many hard partying people I grew up with are dead from liver damage - it can happen very young - it happened when most of them were in their 20s. When you are young you don't realize the damage you are doing. My Father was a functioning alcoholic - he held a job and all - there are many people like that.
I used to smoke - I really liked it - I even enjoy the smell to this day but I was coughing constantly and I smelled disgusting - I am so glad I quit 20 yrs ago - it was killing me - I smoked 2 packs a day. I recently saw that cigarettes are $50 dollars a carton now - that's nuts! My sister recently died from smoking - it was so sad - she was gasping for air - do you know how horrible that is? Please get help and quit if you still smoke - there are many new drugs and such out there to help you that they did not have years ago.
And yes, addictions run in families - now if I can only get over my food addiction....
Ive watched AA do amazing things for many people. Things rehabs couldn't accomplish. There is a lot of bad information about AA out there by people, mostly who shouldn't be commenting on it, but if you do the research and take the time to find the right group, there is a high probability you will find great improvement in your life within the year
Ive recommended AA to people who do not even have an alcohol problem. It helps one work on more than just one undesirable personality trait.
I do NOT want to drink at all as I feel I can not control my drinking. One glass turns to 5 ( I don't see the signs insert smack & disgusted sign here!!)
So far, I have not gotten into trouble with the law which is great but I have driven to work hung over.
My problem is that the SO feels he needs a drink to""relax"" after work but since I can no longer control myself, instead of having 1 glass of wine to ""relax"" with him it turns into 5.
Plus I'm having all sorts of health issues!
Plus if I divorce the SO I am bound to face financial issues.
So my relief is the bottle. Stupid I know. Please dont crucify me I know I'm a bird already. I don't need that thrown to my face I already know it. But I need constructive criticism.
My idea would be that if the SO ONLY needs one or two glasses to ""relax"" (insert sarcasm here"") then his needs are inferior to mine because his need to ""relax"" has pledged me into a full time alcoholic. He needs a glass or two & his need for a glass or two leads me to 5 UNWANTED glasses?
Thoughts?
Only you can answer whether your life is worth more than being sick and tired all the time and spending that time with someone totally unsympathetic to your condition and needs. Concentrating on money and other peripheral issues will not allow you to focus on the real issue, which is YOU.
Best wishes in whatever you decide and hopes for a happy, healthy future
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. I don't get me. I do NOT drink during the day but I dont know what it is about night time that I feel the need to drink? Anyone else had a similar experience? 
