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No stress, no drama, no hate, seeing the people around you happy, being around people who know and love you unconditionally, at peace with yourself, helping others in need, sharing your blessing, in a park watching and hearing nature on a beautiful spring day. And a long drive on a pretty clear day with my favorite tunes in my favorite ride.
No stress, no drama, no hate, seeing the people around you happy, being around people who know and love you unconditionally, at peace with yourself, helping others in need, sharing your blessing, in a park watching and hearing nature on a beautiful spring day. And a long drive on a pretty clear day with my favorite tunes in my favorite ride.
What planet to do I have to visit to get the "no stress, no drama, no hate, seeing the people around you happy, being around people who know and love you unconditionally" part -- all at one time?
What planet to do I have to visit to get the "no stress, no drama, no hate, seeing the people around you happy, being around people who know and love you unconditionally" part -- all at one time?
I'm still looking but this is only wishful thinking on my part, but I did took a long drive in my mustang gt today listening to my favorite old school tunes, it was very relaxing and was an escape from reality for a little while. I don't really have any drama in my life outside of work and i'll do the stress buster in the morning when I hit the gym. I guess its possible though, i'll let you know when I get them all in the same day.
What brought me joy shifted quite a bit in the last several years. In the last few years, I prefer to spend time with close family members and close friends, rather making new friends. My tolerance towards people decreased, I can not stand high drama, and capricious people. I used to be very active; tennis, hiking, running, swimming. Lately, it is mostly hiking with family or my dog. I never thought I was a dog person up until we got a dog a year ago. I feel this incredible connectedness towards her as if she understands me well, and vice versa. My best moments are watching a good movie or reading a book , and sipping my hot tea while my dog is curled up next to me. I enjoy spending time with my teen daughter and my hubby very much. I am crazy for sunny days (not necessarily hot) too. I enjoy sea views, I am thinking of buying a sea front property in Europe. I am not sure what happened to the days of going crazy on sports and hanging out with a bunch of people, I suppose I am getting old.
I'm a lazy person, and to be honest I don't like to do much once all of my basic chores are completed. I like to watch films and movies and go to bars/clubs. Philosophy and social science books are good to read also, as is doing dance and yoga. One thing though is that I'm highly selective of who I spend my time with, for both good and "bad" or supposedly judgmental reasons. It's because to me with whom we associate is a basic part of being happy, and if somebody doesn't add value to my life I dump them. It may seem cold, but then humans have been doing this (literally) forever in some form, so I don't get how it can be "cold".
... I'm highly selective of who I spend my time with, for both good and "bad" or supposedly judgmental reasons. It's because to me with whom we associate is a basic part of being happy, and if somebody doesn't add value to my life I dump them. It may seem cold, but then humans have been doing this (literally) forever in some form, so I don't get how it can be "cold".
I don't think it's cold, it's just that you've been relieved of enough of your illusions to be pragmatic.
Also, if you don't have kids or they are well out of the nest and doing okay, and your marriage is good, then you don't have a lot of Hobson's choices in eliminating people who "don't add value". My 27 year old special needs son for instance doesn't really "add value" but I am his father and he is incapable so duty calls. He is closed off enough that I will never truly know him and he is indifferent enough that he will never truly know me. While I love him and see compartmentalized positive qualities in him, and it's possible he'll end up making a net contribution to society, if he were a total stranger I would have nothing to do with him. It's just reality. And that's not cold either, it's just realistic. No one would choose this for their son or for themselves. It's not the reason people have kids.
The trick of enjoying "your time" -- and making them into the so-called Golden Years -- is getting to this point in life without a lot of barnacles clinging to you. Alas, some of us don't have that much self-determination. We attend support groups and take care of ourselves and each other the best we can, and take one day at a time. But we don't, most nights, after work, have the choice: movie, bar or club?
I don't think it's cold, it's just that you've been relieved of enough of your illusions to be pragmatic.
Also, if you don't have kids or they are well out of the nest and doing okay, and your marriage is good, then you don't have a lot of Hobson's choices in eliminating people who "don't add value". My 27 year old special needs son for instance doesn't really "add value" but I am his father and he is incapable so duty calls. He is closed off enough that I will never truly know him and he is indifferent enough that he will never truly know me. While I love him and see compartmentalized positive qualities in him, and it's possible he'll end up making a net contribution to society, if he were a total stranger I would have nothing to do with him. It's just reality. And that's not cold either, it's just realistic. No one would choose this for their son or for themselves. It's not the reason people have kids.
The trick of enjoying "your time" -- and making them into the so-called Golden Years -- is getting to this point in life without a lot of barnacles clinging to you. Alas, some of us don't have that much self-determination. We attend support groups and take care of ourselves and each other the best we can, and take one day at a time. But we don't, most nights, after work, have the choice: movie, bar or club?
By adding value, I mean do I like or respect them? Are they respectful of me? Are they abusive? Are they people who have values, morals or actions that I approve of or who that will serve my interests and needs? I think many people across the world choose with whom to associate on these bases, including excluding others based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or anything modern society would say is "bad".
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