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Because a lot of the males are willing participants if they are in their adolescent years (ie, ~12-17). It is not until later that they realize they were victimized and some never realize it.
A lot if teenage girls are willing participants too. They know that as long as they lie to officials about having sex with their boyfriends, they can have sex with anyone they want. Sex laws are some of the least enforced laws on the books. If the cheerleader had been just a little more discreet and talked to the boy about legal consequences, it's unlikely she would ever have been caught. Banging him with 3 teenage drunks in the house was just really stupid.
Pedophilia I believe is sub 12 years old. Most of the teacher/students cases involves a 15-17 year old guy. I think any man will tell you that at 15-17, having sex with a hot teacher would be amazing. I'm not saying that occasionally a woman doesn't forcibly do it or coerce the guy into it against his will, but I'd say it's the exception.
I disagree with the poster who says pedophilia means you are only sexually assaulting your own kids. It means ANY adult using ANY kids for sex.
Pedophilia is not a legal term. It means having a sexual attraction to a pre-pubescent child. Being sexually attracted to teens is not pedophilia, it is ephebophilia or, in the case of attraction to very young teens, hebephilia. The statutes do not use these terms at all, they just call it sexual abuse and define that term.
Just about everyone, male or female, is an ephebophile. There is no doubt that young people can be very attractive. Most people will never act on that attraction, so they don't have a problem. Pedophilia and hebephilia are much less common, and acting on that attraction carries much more severe legal penalties.
Pedophilia I believe is sub 12 years old. Most of the teacher/students cases involves a 15-17 year old guy. I think any man will tell you that at 15-17, having sex with a hot teacher would be amazing. I'm not saying that occasionally a woman doesn't forcibly do it or coerce the guy into it against his will, but I'd say it's the exception.
There is an imbalance of power and emotional and psychological impacts to the underage person. Teens have many sexual fantasies that need to stay that way in order not to do psychological damage.
I imagine the reason why the boy with the cheerleader abuser told his dad because he felt internal conflicts over the abuse.
It's the (alleged) mindset of the male victim. Most young men may grow up and realize they were abused, but at age 15, if an attractive older lady wants to have sex with you, your hormones aren't going to convince you that you're a victim.
The issue however, is that predatory women in positions of authority don't target just any teen male. They may be attracted to the boy, but there's a good chance he has a troubled home-life and a weak familial structure. He's easy prey and more susceptible to going along with whatever she desires. This type of kid probably has many issues outside of statutory rape...it's just the icing on the cake.
Some may not realize this, but you can be a victim and never feel victimized. My H.S. pre-calculus teacher was a short, voluptuous and buxom blonde that always had just right amount of cleavage. A relationship between her and I would have been wrong and she'd rightly be convicted of abuse and statutory rape. Any regret I'd have would come from the media circus. If we were having sex and it was just that...sex, I'd have been a victim. However, I'm 100% certain I would not have felt victimized. It's much more gray than people want to admit.
Some may not realize this, but you can be a victim and never feel victimized. My H.S. pre-calculus teacher was a short, voluptuous and buxom blonde that always had just right amount of cleavage. A relationship between her and I would have been wrong and she'd rightly be convicted of abuse and statutory rape. Any regret I'd have would come from the media circus. If we were having sex and it was just that...sex, I'd have been a victim. However, I'm 100% certain I would not have felt victimized. It's much more gray than people want to admit.
How can you say for sure if it didn't happen? I, as a minor, had sex with adult men and protested loudly I wasn't psychologically damaged by it. Until I got into therapy and looked at the shame I carried, deeply hidden. The fear that is created when a child is in adult situations is also very damaging. And looked at the situation from an adult point of view, seeing the ways I was used and manipulated by people who should have been guiding me through life. Thats painful.
Yes, there are some people more resilient to abuse (although they are likely ones who recognized the abuse and dealt with it earlier).
I think the first part of your post was spot on, but I dont think making a statement like this is fair since you did not actually live it.
A lot if teenage girls are willing participants too. They know that as long as they lie to officials about having sex with their boyfriends, they can have sex with anyone they want. Sex laws are some of the least enforced laws on the books. If the cheerleader had been just a little more discreet and talked to the boy about legal consequences, it's unlikely she would ever have been caught. Banging him with 3 teenage drunks in the house was just really stupid.
I disagree. MORE males are willing participants. This is my point. Of course "some" females are. But biology dictates what gender is the most willing at that age.
And please don't try and swing this conversation to the way of "FEMALES are manipulative."
The overall main issue is it is one of the last unspoken taboos. Many, if not most people can't imagine a woman sexually abusing her sons or daughters. If they did, it must be a monster with horns who lives in the forest, no one we might cross paths with. The makings of a Stephen King novel. Survivors are often plagued with intense shame from the secrecy and taboo.
Honestly, say your best friend and you are having a deep conversation about childhood and abuses and she/he says "my dad was a pedophile, and sexually abused me from age 3-9. It took alot of work in therapy, but I feel like I have healed those wounds for the most part"
You believe her without question. Likely your view of her as a person doesn't change.
But what if she/he says this: "my mother was a pedophile, and sexually abused me from age 3-9. It took alot of work in therapy, but I feel like I have healed those wounds for the most part"
Honestly, how would you feel? Many people don't believe her, think she is nuts-o or now a liar. Many people, even close friends would be repulsed by her.
But not all.
I would totally believe my friend. But then again, I work in the psychiatric field and have seen my share of products of female abusers.
You're right, it is more of a stigma to the victim. And when it is a mother (the most common scenario I have seen w female perps) there are levels of trust that are violated that can in many ways be harder to recover from.
My heart bleeds for these people having been raised by a very emotionally abusive mother and having my own situation minimized by others.
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