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For most of my life my sneezes were fairly quiet. As I have gotten older, they have become louder. I know what you mean about concerned onlookers. I am usually nodding between the sneezes and trying to indicate that I am OK. I don’t know what people think is happening, but it is just several sneezes in a row, and certainly nothing that out of the ordinary.
And how about when you can feel the sneeze building for a good minute or two and you are making stupid faces while the irrestible urge to sneeze keeps ramping up.
This is a first world problem, for sure, when sneezing signifies nothing much, but bystanders feel worried because you can’t seem to stop after one sneeze.
Right - as if they really believe that we are closer to death than ever when we sneeze, or something like that. I want to say "Take a picture while you're at it so you can steal my soul!" Except I can't talk because I am sneezing and they are hovering and fretting and basically driving me crazy.
My sneezes are still small and delicate - like my ears and my toes - I have to take small and delicate where I can find it because I am tall and muscular - except for my ears, toes and sneezes. Oh, and snoring - apparently I don't snore that often but when I do it's a delicate, adorable little snore. At least that's what I tell myself because why not, right?
I am morbidly obese and have diabetes and high blood pressure....I drive to Wal-mart and use my friends handicap placard until I get mine. The forms are complicated and I already live off of my disability checks anyway.
Once I am inside I use complimentary fat carts to make my way from the on site Mcdondalds to browse slob pants. Now I notice they discontinued my usual xxxxxx L size so I am out of luck.
Next stop is the pharmacy so i can get my beauty products, opioids and nicorette gum. I won't bore you with my other heart meds and such, life is hard when you eat bad and don't exercise.
My husband is away on business in Thailand for two weeks in January. That leaves me alone with just our adorable poodle. We decided we can't afford an operation for her so the tumors remain but she still is as faithful as the day she was born. She is the sparkle in my lonely life in the coldest part of the year.
He says it's the third world over there and they don't have phones so he can't call me but thinks of me everyday. Sometimes I question what he does over there but he comes back and seems freshly invigorated. He attributes it to converting to Theravada buddhism and seeing temples. Who am i to judge?
I stop off on my way home for cheap cigarettes at the Indian reservation and buy a few lottery tickets.
So when I get home I microwave my Whitecastle frozen burgers only to find they are still slightly frozen in the middle. I can return the microwave later I just need to eat for now. I am too lazy to do anything more and take some prescription sleeping meds because it is hard to sleep with my husband being gone in SE Asia and working so hard.
At least i know when he comes home I will be looking my best for him so he won't mind the $450 I spent on botox and manicures. He knows I do it because I love him. Although he is concerned his trip wasn't profitable but reassures me the next time over there is a sure thing.
We love each other and couldn't feel more blessed to be from a first world country with food and health care and all that entails. When he comes back from being over there though he talks a lot about how in the west we have rights and how important to him the second amendment has become. He says he only wants to buy a gun to protect me.
Still I sometimes wish they had internet and Starbucks in Thailand. I am becoming concerned things here aren't as great as people make it out to be. Then I reassure myself that living in doubt and ignorance is a mere symptom of my first world problems.
My sneezes are still small and delicate - like my ears and my toes - I have to take small and delicate where I can find it because I am tall and muscular - except for my ears, toes and sneezes. Oh, and snoring - apparently I don't snore that often but when I do it's a delicate, adorable little snore. At least that's what I tell myself because why not, right?
Me too! lol I used to actually stifle my sneezes; they were practically inaudible. But then I read how that was bad for you and caused dangerous pressure. Not sure how true that is, but it made sense. So now they sound more like a controlled cough.
I'm only 5'4, but apparently, and I just realized this recently, I have bigger feet than I should have. But my ears are small and cute! And I still like the shape of my feet. And I've been told my hands are nice. And my SO says I just have a very deep breathing sound that lets him know when I'm asleep or not.
In general, I joke around that I'm farm stock, so I'll take delicate where I can get it.
Me too! lol I used to actually stifle my sneezes; they were practically inaudible. But then I read how that was bad for you and caused dangerous pressure. Not sure how true that is, but it made sense. So now they sound more like a controlled cough.
I'm only 5'4, but apparently, and I just realized this recently, I have bigger feet than I should have. But my ears are small and cute! And I still like the shape of my feet. And I've been told my hands are nice. And my SO says I just have a very deep breathing sound that lets him know when I'm asleep or not.
In general, I joke around that I'm farm stock, so I'll take delicate where I can get it.
Wow, I hope that's not true about the sneezes because I really can't sneeze loud. It's not for lack of trying - I just can't do it.
I need to practice because practice makes perfect.
(Note to self.)
As for your feet - it's the shape that matters most, especially the toes. What if we had small feet but ugly toes? I'd rather have nicely shaped bigger feet with cute toes, amiright?
Speaking of toes and first world problems - I need to go get a pedicure but it's not the money that I begrudge, or the outcome - it's the time. I just don't want to go do it. But I must have well manicured and nicely painted toenails - I mean, that is a MUST in KathrynLand, and I certainly don't want to actually paint my toenails myself. They never turn out as nicely as when painted by some Vietnamese woman who is probably cussing me in her language while massaging feet that are probably incredibly huge to her. If she isn't totally hating on American women and our feet though, surely she must notice that in spite of the largeness of my feet, my toes are exceptionally cute.
Wow, I hope that's not true about the sneezes because I really can't sneeze loud. It's not for lack of trying - I just can't do it.
I need to practice because practice makes perfect.
(Note to self.)
No, I'm sure you're okay with the sneezes. I was definitely trying to stifle mine, so that's a whole separate situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
As for your feet - it's the shape that matters most, especially the toes. What if we had small feet but ugly toes? I'd rather have nicely shaped bigger feet with cute toes, amiright?
Speaking of toes and first world problems - I need to go get a pedicure but it's not the money that I begrudge, or the outcome - it's the time. I just don't want to go do it. But I must have well manicured and nicely painted toenails - I mean, that is a MUST in KathrynLand, and I certainly don't want to actually paint my toenails myself. They never turn out as nicely as when painted by some Vietnamese woman who is probably cussing me in her language while massaging feet that are probably incredibly huge to her.
Lol!
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
If she isn't totally hating on American women and our feet though, surely she must notice that in spite of the largeness of my feet, my toes are exceptionally cute.
Of course she must notice. After all, she is an expert!
I often have trouble deciding which outsourced products to procure from multinational corporations. Ideally I'd like to spread a few cents around evenly to all of the third-world sweatshops in the hopes that my purchase will provide a reward -- in the form of an extra bottle of liquor -- to the rank-and-file taskmasters of multiple emaciated children who may catch the occasional night of sleep uninterrupted by beatings and/or sexual assault on the off-chance that the aforementioned folks imbibe quickly enough to pass out prematurely.
It helps me maintain perspective... oh, and, also, the moral high-ground from which I complain about encountering the People of Walmart on City-Data.
I've typically been the sort to have hundreds of "light" friends. Very "oh I love you, you are just awesome" but I never see them or hang out with them one-on-one. We spend time at parties, in groups, at activities, and talk now and then on social media. But I would not let any of them sleep on my sofa for a few days, nor would I agree to house-sit or pet-sit for any of them, nor would I ask any of them to help me move (I'd hire people first!) There is a certain arm's-length distance between me and my many "friends." So in recent months I've felt that I am "doing it wrong." And I've talked about making more time to nurture at least a few friendships and be closer with people.
So I tried. And what happened, but a couple of them drew me into a drama of triangulation, leaning on me for emotional support, and it got rather messy. Somehow in responding to demands for...support? Processing? Gossip? I can't even tell anymore...despite wanting and trying to be the voice of reason, I was fuel on the fire. I went back and read my responses to all of the talk that happened via text...they were very reasonable! But at least one of these people was very determined to be anything BUT reasonable, and so me engaging her just inflamed things. *sigh*
And THIS is why I don't try to be a "real friend." People drag me into their dramas. So, at some point it was agreed we would stop, and they stopped bringing this...stuff...to me. It's been blissfully silent on all fronts for the last 4 days. Thank goodness.
The first world problem is that I'm now kind of curious if anything is going on, but I don't want to ask, and I'm not going to, because I don't want to stir things up or re-involve myself...but I'm curious, though.
Apparently being any sort of a "real friend" to anyone simply turns me into a busybody nosypants.
I just did a task that sounds like something that would be assigned to a person who just arrived in Hell. "Hello, I heard you had a special place for me here in Hell? I'm ready!"
All summer I have painted at my patio table. I am the Messiest Painter In the World. I have globs and blobs of dried paint stuck on my table and it looks ridiculously awful, sooooo, I just took a can of cleanser, an SOS pad, a Magic Eraser, and a razor scraper and attacked the table... while being dive-bombed by all manner of winged, stinging insects. Oh, and the razor scraper was very dull. My husband turned the water off to the hose because it sprung a leak... which I found out as I was frantically trying to turn it on to get all the cleanser off me to keep the hornets from attacking me. And I have a pressure-washer sitting right here, which might work a lot better and make life a lot easier... but I'm not 100% sure how to use it and I don't want to end up hosing my crabby neighbor's face through the window. Or, do I? (This is how you end up in the special place in hell.)
Right - as if they really believe that we are closer to death than ever when we sneeze, or something like that. I want to say "Take a picture while you're at it so you can steal my soul!" Except I can't talk because I am sneezing and they are hovering and fretting and basically driving me crazy.
My sneezes are still small and delicate - like my ears and my toes - I have to take small and delicate where I can find it because I am tall and muscular - except for my ears, toes and sneezes. Oh, and snoring - apparently I don't snore that often but when I do it's a delicate, adorable little snore. At least that's what I tell myself because why not, right?
I've typically been the sort to have hundreds of "light" friends. Very "oh I love you, you are just awesome" but I never see them or hang out with them one-on-one. We spend time at parties, in groups, at activities, and talk now and then on social media. But I would not let any of them sleep on my sofa for a few days, nor would I agree to house-sit or pet-sit for any of them, nor would I ask any of them to help me move (I'd hire people first!) There is a certain arm's-length distance between me and my many "friends." So in recent months I've felt that I am "doing it wrong." And I've talked about making more time to nurture at least a few friendships and be closer with people.
So I tried. And what happened, but a couple of them drew me into a drama of triangulation, leaning on me for emotional support, and it got rather messy. Somehow in responding to demands for...support? Processing? Gossip? I can't even tell anymore...despite wanting and trying to be the voice of reason, I was fuel on the fire. I went back and read my responses to all of the talk that happened via text...they were very reasonable! But at least one of these people was very determined to be anything BUT reasonable, and so me engaging her just inflamed things. *sigh*
And THIS is why I don't try to be a "real friend." People drag me into their dramas. So, at some point it was agreed we would stop, and they stopped bringing this...stuff...to me. It's been blissfully silent on all fronts for the last 4 days. Thank goodness.
The first world problem is that I'm now kind of curious if anything is going on, but I don't want to ask, and I'm not going to, because I don't want to stir things up or re-involve myself...but I'm curious, though.
Apparently being any sort of a "real friend" to anyone simply turns me into a busybody nosypants.
Every bit of this is true, and also very interesting. I have experienced every fiber of this in minute detail and the struggle is real.
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