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I was bullied just like the OP and let me tell you when people do you wrong you want revenge on them. One of my bullies was actually shot and he died in a gang shooting. I never forgave him because he was that awful to me. I also refused to attend his funeral. I despised him.
Forgiving someone is not the same as accepting their impossible behavior.
I forgave my father, but I never accepted his uncontrollably nasty behavior to me. Getting revenge would have simply escalated him to levels that would have been totally unbearable to me. I did not attend his funeral, but that was really for other reasons since he wasn't there. I never regretted not showing up. While I was the scapegoat in the family, not of the others experienced any where near the level of abuse I did.
But when I left the family about 9 years before he died, there was no longer a scapegoat, and then the other three siblings discovered that somebody has to be the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family. They all ended up getting some of it some of the time---sharing my role so to speak.
I was bullied just like the OP and let me tell you when people do you wrong you want revenge on them. One of my bullies was actually shot and he died in a gang shooting. I never forgave him because he was that awful to me. I also refused to attend his funeral. I despised him.
No one said that wanting revenge was wrong. The OP acted on it - in a half-assed, cowardly way, I might add - and now he is plotting his next victim.
Meanwhile the bully has no idea that the OP enacted his revenge, and I don't think he would care. What has the OP really accomplished here?
No one said that wanting revenge was wrong. The OP acted on it - in a half-assed, cowardly way, I might add - and now he is plotting his next victim.
Meanwhile the bully has no idea that the OP enacted his revenge, and I don't think he would care. What has the OP really accomplished here?
Yeah, in a passive-aggressive immature way he got his "revenge". So years after the abuse, OP is still in the mindset of seeking revenge on a person whom may have moved on with life and most likely is not that same bully who abused OP in school and reminded him of his abusive father. You are lucky you did not get caught...maybe someday if you learn to put the past behind you and mentally grow up, your life will finally be better. In reality instead of boiling for years, then letting out anger in a childish way, you could have taken lesson on how to defend yourself (martial arts), one punch in the face and the bully would know not to mess with you. OP is not even a human, he is a TROLL.
People who are bullies do not always fit the stereotype, and bullying does not always take the form of physical attack and intimidation. Can you imagine a group of older women as bullies? I have encountered exactly that in the Retirement Forum. Attacks can take a written form, and ganging up can be done in writing. The City-Data moderation process limits, but does not entirely prohibit, that sort of bullying.
People who are bullies do not always fit the stereotype, and bullying does not always take the form of physical attack and intimidation. Can you imagine a group of older women as bullies? I have encountered exactly that in the Retirement Forum. Attacks can take a written form, and ganging up can be done in writing. The City-Data moderation process limits, but does not entirely prohibit, that sort of bullying.
I'm extremely confused as to what this has to do with the OP.
People who are bullies do not always fit the stereotype, and bullying does not always take the form of physical attack and intimidation. Can you imagine a group of older women as bullies? I have encountered exactly that in the Retirement Forum. Attacks can take a written form, and ganging up can be done in writing. The City-Data moderation process limits, but does not entirely prohibit, that sort of bullying.
And people who counter bullying with bullying are, themselves, bullies.
They think they have "a good reason" for their own horrific behavior, but then again, so too, probably, do the people who bullied them.
And horselaughing about it to strangers on an internet forum.
Yeah...exactly.
THAT'LL teach 'im!
Quick FYI: It teaches nobody anything to anonymously send hookers over to his house. Or pizzas. He will probably assume it was some kid playing a random prank. What has he learned? This is going to "teach" him he can't bully someone...20 years ago? Someone he probably has NEVER thought about again. Not once. And sure won't now, since OP stayed nice and safely anonymous the entire time rather than, I don't know, actually bravely speaking to this person, as an adult would do.
And meanwhile, the OP has:
* done something cowardly/refused to show/take responsibility
* done something aggressively hurtful (i.e. loss of job, wife)
* laughed and jeered about having done something aggressively hurtful
* elected himself judge, jury and punishment-deliverer
* called for "backup" or a "possee" (in this case, by looking for approval on this forum)
* chose someone in a position where the person couldn't possibly strike back
Why as I live and breathe. That sure says "bully" to me. How about you, OP? What do you think?
Last edited by JerZ; 05-25-2016 at 07:46 PM..
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