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Yeah, its better to just choke on it for the rest of your life.. Tell yourself how you're a "better person," and how you refuse to stoop to his level and all that happy horseshiit.
No, "better" is to FORGET the person and move on with your life.
NOT spend your whole life "choking on it"...if you're still ruminating all those years later it's time for the psychiatrist's couch. I am not saying that in a shaming way, it's the simple truth.
If you have to spend decades routinely saying "I'm the better person for not getting revenge on this person from 10/20/30/40/50 years ago," then you have a bigger problem than making a former bully see the light.
By the way, I was bullied, and severely. I was weird, I was always reading, I was too quiet, too smart and I was always the new kid (13 homes by sixth grade). Kids can do some azzhat things. They're KIDS. Even under the best, healthiest of circumstances kids will say STUPID and hurtful things to one another at times; so a kid with more serious issues will be an all-out jerkwad, no bones about it.
I have to assume the serious bullies (serious enough that, until I learned to stick up for myself, I was literally chased down the street off the bus with my hair being yanked out and my clothes being torn at, and I was vomiting in the mornings in terror of going to school) had their own problems, and no, that's neither sour grapes nor a salve. Typical little kid bickering = normal immaturity; serious bullying = someone with a gigantic issue, or more than one. Even the OP's story bears that out by the fact that the former bully has been in and out of jail. That guy is not living the happy life and is spilling over with issues, problems and horrid choices.
I don't have to make my former bullies' lives hell. I think their lives already WERE hell, and either they've equally gone through hell (and back) by now to become better people, or they're continuing to pay, and pay, and pay with their own misery. My "justice" is in no way required.
Why is so hard for YOU to see there is a big difference between hunting down Nazis responsible for killing 6 million people or Bin Laden who orchestrated the murder of over 3000 and a junior high bully?
Or conflating 'revenge' with a chubby kid who turned bodybuilder.
You (like an earlier poster) appear to have neglected those who took steps to prevent future abuse. They are no longer helpless and will take no more abuse.
We were talking about victims and bullies. Resilient survivors are another category
Sounds like a wimpy form of revenge to be honest. I would have slashed his car tires, rob him at gunpoint and them make him kiss my feet at gunpoint. Then I would have pistol-whipped him and threaten to come back if he calls the police.
Sounds like a wimpy form of revenge to be honest. I would have slashed his car tires, rob him at gunpoint and them make him kiss my feet at gunpoint. Then I would have pistol-whipped him and threaten to come back if he calls the police.
Bullying in the worst cases tends to involve multiple counts of assault, torture (mental and physical), theft, armed robbery, kidnapping, imprisonment against one's will, and in some cases sexual assault. Those in question being children is certainty something to take into consideration, but something else to consider is how terribly inefficient, if not apathetic, schools tend to be in extremely severe cases. It is my assumption that the cases are most cruel between the age of 12-15, which is when the mob mentality and need for self-identification is strongest among children.
If there was a proper system in place that punished and saw "bullies", and I mean real bullies (not the pc garbage, which is just 1 or 2 incidences of kids being kids), were punished, there wouldn't be a need for revenge.
And justice being society's way of balancing the scales and not revenge is the ideal instead of the reality. The laws have long been written, and many are simply imbalance today (depending on the state). One such example would be the deplorable 3 strike rule, which is a clear case of revenge in action. * Yes, it tends to be offenders who were already serious offender to begin with, but there have been exceptions. In any event, I think it is fool hardy to proclaim that the current basis of our justice system is within revenge as a foundation. We humans are not as secular and detached as we need be even in law. it is not possible. What OP did is not healthy and should normally not be done for 'reasons', but sometimes exceptions need be made. Maybe this is one such case. Get off the OP damn back and take a few steps down from your high horses.
Thanks for reading, I hope everyone has wonderful day.
And OP, stop trying to justify your actions to us. Usually, I find that is one trying to justify their actions to themselves. Maybe it hurts you to know how far this bullying has pushed you. it has transformed you into the kind of person who would take the kind of revenge you never thought you would take. it has haunted you so that it snapped you into this thing you thought you would never become. Well, maybe it did. But it doesn't matter anymore. Time to move on. You got your revenge. Now please join some organization that is anti-bullying or wtv, and or try to be better from here on on. That is my preachy advice I wanted to give on the subject.
I was not damaged by bullying because I was barely bullied, but by other stuff. Not relly sure what...but I ain't mr. ken marsh myself. But I ain't gonna sit and judge a man who learned to fish different from me if he ain't hurtin the enviroment too much. Ya dig?
Sounds like a wimpy form of revenge to be honest. I would have slashed his car tires, rob him at gunpoint and them make him kiss my feet at gunpoint. Then I would have pistol-whipped him and threaten to come back if he calls the police.
I was made fun of in middle and high school for being overweight and "gay" (though I wasn't out yet).
Years later, I work out mostly every day, have lost weight, and am 100% confident in myself and regularly run into the guys who made fun of me...overweight and drunk at the bars.
I was made fun of in middle and high school for being overweight and "gay" (though I wasn't out yet).
Years later, I work out mostly every day, have lost weight, and am 100% confident in myself and regularly run into the guys who made fun of me...overweight and drunk at the bars.
No revenge needed
Maybe you should thank them
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