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If I were to go to my son and daughter-in-law's house right this minute, I guarantee there would be open cupboard doors and drawers in the kitchen and bathroom. I have no idea why. By her own admission, daughter-in-law has OCD but apparently not when it comes to closing doors and drawers. I don't really care as I love them and the grands to the moon and back! Besides, I have my own house and keep mine closed. Come to think of it, I might be a little OCD about that!
To go down the road of constant observation of opened drawers etc. is admitting to OCD plain and simple. To even have the time to go into such matters is quite amazing to me. Quite unnecessary in fact and may indicate a need to pick on another person just for the need to do so. A game of superiority in knowing you are on to them and their ways. They can not hide from you.
If the opened drawer or door is causing some issue to health and safety then you have every right to bring it up. Otherwise, you are just looking for something to gripe about. And again there is no point in doing the whole " Hey I have every right to say it, I live here too , it may not mean much to you but to me it does". Always goes nowhere and the relationship along with it.
Learn to overlook such trivial things as they will annoy you no end. There is a difference between a partner finding something about their SO that is quirky but also cute, and in your case fixating about doors and drawers left partially open. The latter in this case is the one to worry about.
I sometimes tend to do this and here's at least partly why.
My mom used to yell a lot about "don't bang the cabinets closed!!!" when I was a kid, and we had the kinds of doors that made a sound no matter how softly you tried to close them. So I think I picked up the habit of leaving them all slightly open so they make zero sound.
To go down the road of constant observation of opened drawers etc. is admitting to OCD plain and simple. To even have the time to go into such matters is quite amazing to me. Quite unnecessary in fact and may indicate a need to pick on another person just for the need to do so. A game of superiority in knowing you are on to them and their ways. They can not hide from you.
If the opened drawer or door is causing some issue to health and safety then you have every right to bring it up. Otherwise, you are just looking for something to gripe about. And again there is no point in doing the whole " Hey I have every right to say it, I live here too , it may not mean much to you but to me it does". Always goes nowhere and the relationship along with it.
Learn to overlook such trivial things as they will annoy you no end. There is a difference between a partner finding something about their SO that is quirky but also cute, and in your case fixating about doors and drawers left partially open. The latter in this case is the one to worry about.
Just because someone likes things to look orderly and neat doesn't mean they are OCD, and usually when randomly opened drawers and cabinets bother someone, it's probably because it looks sloppy to them. Are you saying there's something wrong with their preference for things to look and be orderly?
My husband has THE most disorganized mind - it's amazing, actually. And you know what - he's really smart and he's witty and he's so kind - I just love him to pieces. But yes, his disorganized mind causes problems sometimes, and I don't know when to say something and when not to sometimes.
I think the same "whatever in his brain" that makes him never put his wallet and keys down in the same place, also makes him prone to leaving cabinets and drawers randomly open. Now - he is not a messy person, and he likes for things to be clean, and he is constantly "organizing the garage" or "organizing his drawers," - except they are not very organized when he's done. They look neater but there's still not usually much rhyme or reason to them.
Consequently, he spends a lot of time each day looking for common items.
It doesn't matter what time I start getting dressed to go somewhere - it never fails - I am ALWAYS sitting in the car waiting for him, because he can't find something, or he came out to the car and then realized he didn't have something - like his phone, or wallet, or keys - with him. It does me absolutely no good to try to help him in this - in fact, he is prone to take offense if I try to offer advice or if I remind him to get something before he leaves. Or if I remind him, "We need to turn left up here." I mean, he will be all the way over in the right hand lane, 100 feet from the left turn, and if I finally say, "We need to turn left here," he usually says, "I know that - sheeze, what do you think I was doing? I was going to turn left. You don't have to remind me." So - if I don't remind him, and he passes the turn up, then he says, "What is wrong with me, where am I going? Were you going to say anything?"
Anyway, like I said, I think the same glitch also makes him forget to close cabinet doors and drawers. And if I say something about that, I get the same response about turning left or right - "I know - sheeze, what do you think I am, a complete idiot? I was going to close that. You are so impatient." Really? You were going to close it? When - after we got done with dinner? After we watch a movie? At what point did you plan on closing it? I KNOW YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE IT.
I realize I'm making my husband sound like an idiot. Actually, he works in a very fast paced work environment and under a lot of pressure to make quick decisions that are very expensive and can be very dangerous even in the best of circumstances. And he is FANTASTIC at that sort of thing. He's also a very observant man in many ways, and believe me, if you are in a crisis, you want him right there, because he is ON IT. Sometimes I wonder if closing cabinet doors and drawers, and picking up his wallet, or putting his keys in the same place when he comes in just feels mundane and uninteresting to him. I don't know.
I grew up in the north. All winter any cabinet that housed a water source was open all the time - to make sure the pipes didn't freeze.
Some cabinets and drawers I always close. Some seem to be open more than not - the pantry doors for instance. That way I can plan my next meal from the chair across the room.
But, to my credit, I rarely ever turn on lights at night and if I do, they go right off again as soon as I have found whatever I am looking for or have found my way where I was going. For instance, I know my way in the dark to the front door but when I go to check the yard for dog poop to clean up late in the evening before I lock the front door for the night, I always turn the light on so I can be sure there are no 'obstacles' placed in my way (by said old dog).
I may not be OCD but I am sure there is some mental illness that someone will say I suffer from.
My dresser is old, and the drawer slides are trashed. Hence the drawers don't close. My kitchen however was remodeled with soft close drawers... Slide it shut and it shuts nice and tight and quiet. I'm hoping I can find a dresser with soft close drawers. I got spoiled....
I don't think I do it with drawers regularly but I could see it happening. Not carelessness but deliberately leaving the drawer slightly open. I might do that sometimes but it isn't a big thing. I actually can't get my drawers closed because they are too full. I can, but I have to make an effort and sometimes those drawers don't get closed but I know they should be.
I have to close the bathroom door when I am sleeping I can't have it open and the toilet should be closed because ghosts might come up, or even Jaws...That could happen. It is a superstitious feeling. I don't believe that for real but I want the toilet bowl closed and the door shut.
Not eating all the food in a serving dish is a thing. I don't to take the last little bit. I will empty a milk carton or something out of the fridge but when serving a meal I like to leave a bit behind. We might need it later. It is a weird thing.
We have weird things, little things. Carelessness is a different matter and I think I used to do that a lot but not anymore about cupboards.
I sometimes tend to do this and here's at least partly why.
My mom used to yell a lot about "don't bang the cabinets closed!!!" when I was a kid, and we had the kinds of doors that made a sound no matter how softly you tried to close them. So I think I picked up the habit of leaving them all slightly open so they make zero sound.
My mom never yelled, but I hate the noise, and that's one reason I didn't prioritize shutting the cabinets.
I am a huge offender of leaving cabinet doors open. If I get a glass or dish out of the kitchen cabinet, I find the door open later. Not sure why I do it, but I also never turn out a light when leaving a room.
Maybe just lazy.
Don
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