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Old 10-21-2018, 06:20 PM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
4,004 posts, read 2,084,030 times
Reputation: 7714

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Quote:
Originally Posted by turkeydance View Post
beauty is only a light switch away.
LOL!


Its funny, when you are in a relationship for a few decades, it seems to me that on some level, you always look lovingly at the same person you first met. You don't realize an age change. Sure, its there, but its not what your mind's eye sees when you think about your love.
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:37 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,513,348 times
Reputation: 35712
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miso Blu View Post
Maybe he thinks his value is wrapped up in his wife's looks. The better she looks, the more he perceives he will be respected and/or admired for his virility.
THIS is actually very common. Men feel that they get respect from other men by having the "hottest" woman.
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:51 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,252,771 times
Reputation: 22685
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
THIS is actually very common. Men feel that they get respect from other men by having the "hottest" woman.
Probably this...

Then again, any man I've ever heard say this must be blind in one eye. They are NEVER the hottest anything...
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Old 10-21-2018, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,966,647 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
Probably this...

Then again, any man I've ever heard say this must be blind in one eye. They are NEVER the hottest anything...
Soooo ... they are not actually trying to convince you, but themselves!!
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Old 10-21-2018, 07:39 PM
 
9,100 posts, read 6,324,331 times
Reputation: 12332
Is it just me or are more and more relationship oriented topics appearing in the psychology forum lately?
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Old 10-21-2018, 07:58 PM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,329,285 times
Reputation: 26025
It's nice that he loves her, appreciates her, praises her hard work but let's not go overboard.
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Old 10-21-2018, 09:59 PM
 
5,888 posts, read 3,227,673 times
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Swinger and/or insecure. See this all the time.

And half the time, the woman they're raving about is the opposite of hot. I've noticed this especially in the case of older men on their second/third/fourth marriages, and the woman is the one they think is a "trophy" just because she's younger (often inappropriately so). They think a younger woman is going to restore their own youth. Its some kind of a disorder some men have - maybe related to a fear of mortality. Its not a "mid-life crisis" - that's temporary. This is more like a deep-seated delusion they are comforted by indulging.

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, is what I know.

The best response to this fishing for compliments is to simply ignore it. Pretend you didn't hear it, change the topic. Just don't acknowledge it at all. If he doesn't get any validation/recognition from you he will probably stop.

Last edited by phantompilot; 10-21-2018 at 10:08 PM..
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Old 10-21-2018, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
11,122 posts, read 5,595,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grouse789 View Post
So I've got this acquaintance, he is maybe 9 years older than me, like mid 50's. Great guy, but every other conversation, he somehow manages to squeeze in some quip about how hot his was still is, or how good her body looks as she works out 2 hr a day. I really don't know how I am supposed to react to a statement like that.
It's strange because the only other guy I knew who used to talk like that was a Dbag.
My wife is pretty and all that too, but I don't throw that fact in to others on a regular basis.


What is this behavior called?
Once there was a guy who kept telling me how great his wife looked and he wanted me to come over for dinner and meet her. There were danger signs lighting-up about that, for sure. As it turned out, they were finished with each other sexually and he was hoping I'd want to provide her some distraction, so he could be with this other woman. They had some financial entanglements and couldn't afford to separate or divorce or they would probably have lost their joint business enterprise. I avoided him after that and even quit going places where I might have run into him. No one but a fool would ever get into such a mix-up, with no good result in sight. But wouldn't you think the woman could have found a diversion by herself, without his help?
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Old 10-21-2018, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,960 posts, read 17,348,750 times
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Chalk this up to being insecure. A confident man would never do this on a constant basis.
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Old 10-22-2018, 05:13 AM
 
1,279 posts, read 853,731 times
Reputation: 2055
Quote:
Originally Posted by grouse789 View Post
So I've got this acquaintance, he is maybe 9 years older than me, like mid 50's. Great guy, but every other conversation, he somehow manages to squeeze in some quip about how hot his was still is, or how good her body looks as she works out 2 hr a day. I really don't know how I am supposed to react to a statement like that.
It's strange because the only other guy I knew who used to talk like that was a Dbag.
My wife is pretty and all that too, but I don't throw that fact in to others on a regular basis.


What is this behavior called?
Insecurity.
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