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Its funny, when you are in a relationship for a few decades, it seems to me that on some level, you always look lovingly at the same person you first met. You don't realize an age change. Sure, its there, but its not what your mind's eye sees when you think about your love.
Maybe he thinks his value is wrapped up in his wife's looks. The better she looks, the more he perceives he will be respected and/or admired for his virility.
THIS is actually very common. Men feel that they get respect from other men by having the "hottest" woman.
And half the time, the woman they're raving about is the opposite of hot. I've noticed this especially in the case of older men on their second/third/fourth marriages, and the woman is the one they think is a "trophy" just because she's younger (often inappropriately so). They think a younger woman is going to restore their own youth. Its some kind of a disorder some men have - maybe related to a fear of mortality. Its not a "mid-life crisis" - that's temporary. This is more like a deep-seated delusion they are comforted by indulging.
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, is what I know.
The best response to this fishing for compliments is to simply ignore it. Pretend you didn't hear it, change the topic. Just don't acknowledge it at all. If he doesn't get any validation/recognition from you he will probably stop.
Last edited by phantompilot; 10-21-2018 at 10:08 PM..
So I've got this acquaintance, he is maybe 9 years older than me, like mid 50's. Great guy, but every other conversation, he somehow manages to squeeze in some quip about how hot his was still is, or how good her body looks as she works out 2 hr a day. I really don't know how I am supposed to react to a statement like that.
It's strange because the only other guy I knew who used to talk like that was a Dbag.
My wife is pretty and all that too, but I don't throw that fact in to others on a regular basis.
What is this behavior called?
Once there was a guy who kept telling me how great his wife looked and he wanted me to come over for dinner and meet her. There were danger signs lighting-up about that, for sure. As it turned out, they were finished with each other sexually and he was hoping I'd want to provide her some distraction, so he could be with this other woman. They had some financial entanglements and couldn't afford to separate or divorce or they would probably have lost their joint business enterprise. I avoided him after that and even quit going places where I might have run into him. No one but a fool would ever get into such a mix-up, with no good result in sight. But wouldn't you think the woman could have found a diversion by herself, without his help?
So I've got this acquaintance, he is maybe 9 years older than me, like mid 50's. Great guy, but every other conversation, he somehow manages to squeeze in some quip about how hot his was still is, or how good her body looks as she works out 2 hr a day. I really don't know how I am supposed to react to a statement like that.
It's strange because the only other guy I knew who used to talk like that was a Dbag.
My wife is pretty and all that too, but I don't throw that fact in to others on a regular basis.
What is this behavior called?
Insecurity.
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