Psychopathic traits associated with dating success in males. (toxic, people, men)

[tamajane]

Even if I had liked bad boys in school I was too dorky for them. My friends and I had little crushes on some of the cool ones but we didn't actually want them. We weren't vandals and punks so we didn't really have too much in common with them. There was just a line there.

Later as a young adult I dated a hot bad boy for a summer. It was fun but it was just a temporary thing.

So I guess I didn't have the instinct to reproduce with a low IQ tough guy who uses poor judgement.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by bobspez

I wouldn't call it child porn. His son was 18 so I'm guessing these girls who took nude and/or lewd videos in his high school were probably over 16. In many places that's the age of consent, and if an adult has sex with a 16 year old it's not a felony. But I'd want to know who they were. This is a small town and everyone probably knows these girls. I also doubt it was more than a few girls. If it was, that's some town with no law enforcement or school rules or parental guidance. But it's a rural community and some rural communities can be pretty kinky. Someone I knew from a small rural community used to "date" calves, and he wasn't the only one. Lot of incest going on as well.

Those things are not "kinky." Those things are unethical and perverse. As is violating consent, as those girls almost certainly shared those images with the expectation that they wouldn't be shown around to random people, particularly the older men in town.

Damn shame that the real lesson here is that girls need to understand not to trust males. Not the boys who say they love them or that they won't share nudes with others, and not even the men who are members of their community and fathers of their peers. You have the internet and could go look at women who consented to be looked at doing just about anything but you're intrigued about looking at pictures of underage girls you know? Do you get pleasure in the feeling of violating them? Would it be more fun if you told them, maybe if they got upset and you could then blame and shame them for it?

It's frickin nasty. Mean spirited and nasty.

And guys wonder why women and girls don't trust you more easily.

Yeah I'm definitely glad that cell phones weren't around when I was young. And that the adult events I go to prohibit them. I much prefer to have my consent respected, when it comes to who is seeing what of me.

And lest we think it, boys aren't safe either. I know a boy who was conned, thinking he was video chatting with a girl, but it was a scammer who took video of him and threatened to send it to his friends and family unless he sent money. Kids need to be educated by their parents about the risks of this stuff, seriously.

[Toxic Waltz]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Um, no. It's child porn, and most people would not "look just out of curiosity".

Heck, stepson wanted to show his dad a a pic of his GF in her skimpy costume for ComicCon, and DH was like "hard no."

And she is 20.


I'm not fond of normalizing creepy old dudes.

Heck, I KNOW kids do this, and that's not going to stop. When my stepson mentioned he was sent one, the first thing I did was lecture him not showing the picture to others, if she trusted HIM, then he should be respectful.

I already have an arrangement with my wife that when my teen son's phone needs to be checked, she does it. I don't need to be seeing that stuff. I mean, she doesn't either but better her than me. And I've already had the talk with my son about those sorts of pics being illegal even if he is the same age as the girl in question.

[bobspez]

I don't see it that way at all. As a parent who had a boy and two girls I'd want to know who these girls were and what was on the videos. If my daughters said they wanted to go over to these girls houses I wouldn't allow it. If they asked why, I'd tell them because the girls made sex videos. If they said that wasn't true, I'd want to be able to tell them I knew it was because I saw them. I wouldn't want to condemn these girls based on rumors. I wouldn't be looking at the videos for sexual stimulation any more than law enforcement does when they look at child porn. And looking at them wouldn't bother me one way or the other unless it was my daughters on them. There's a lot more tragic things on the nightly news from the Ukraine than any teenage sex videos.

This is all hypothetical anyway, but I could imagine these girls weren't victims, they probably thought if celebrities can release sex tapes and get famous, then they can too. I know kids are and have been sexually active in high school since my kids were in high school, and they still are. If kids are having sex, the videos are sort of irrelevant.

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Those things are not "kinky." Those things are unethical and perverse. As is violating consent, as those girls almost certainly shared those images with the expectation that they wouldn't be shown around to random people, particularly the older men in town.

Damn shame that the real lesson here is that girls need to understand not to trust males. Not the boys who say they love them or that they won't share nudes with others, and not even the men who are members of their community and fathers of their peers. You have the internet and could go look at women who consented to be looked at doing just about anything but you're intrigued about looking at pictures of underage girls you know? Do you get pleasure in the feeling of violating them? Would it be more fun if you told them, maybe if they got upset and you could then blame and shame them for it?

It's frickin nasty. Mean spirited and nasty.

And guys wonder why women and girls don't trust you more easily.

Yeah I'm definitely glad that cell phones weren't around when I was young. And that the adult events I go to prohibit them. I much prefer to have my consent respected, when it comes to who is seeing what of me.

And lest we think it, boys aren't safe either. I know a boy who was conned, thinking he was video chatting with a girl, but it was a scammer who took video of him and threatened to send it to his friends and family unless he sent money. Kids need to be educated by their parents about the risks of this stuff, seriously.

[Seija]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Um, no. It's child porn, and most people would not "look just out of curiosity".

Heck, stepson wanted to show his dad a a pic of his GF in her skimpy costume for ComicCon, and DH was like "hard no."

And she is 20.


I'm not fond of normalizing creepy old dudes.

Heck, I KNOW kids do this, and that's not going to stop. When my stepson mentioned he was sent one, the first thing I did was lecture him not showing the picture to others, if she trusted HIM, then he should be respectful.

This thread is making me feel sick to my stomach. The only appropriate response to seeing underage nudes on a son's or daughter's phone is horror. I cannot believe some of what I am reading here. It is disgusting and terrible.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by Seija

This thread is making me feel sick to my stomach. The only appropriate response to seeing underage nudes on a son's or daughter's phone is horror. I cannot believe some of what I am reading here. It is disgusting and terrible.

But dads need to know exactly how slutty their sons' female classmates are! In detail! It's their responsibility to investigate!

Originally Posted by bobspez

I don't see it that way at all. As a parent who had a boy and two girls I'd want to know who these girls were and what was on the videos. If my daughters said they wanted to go over to these girls houses I wouldn't allow it. If they asked why, I'd tell them because the girls made sex videos. If they said that wasn't true, I'd want to be able to tell them I knew it was because I saw them. I wouldn't want to condemn these girls based on rumors.

[Special_Guest]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork

Those things are not "kinky." Those things are unethical and perverse. As is violating consent, as those girls almost certainly shared those images with the expectation that they wouldn't be shown around to random people, particularly the older men in town.

Damn shame that the real lesson here is that girls need to understand not to trust males. Not the boys who say they love them or that they won't share nudes with others, and not even the men who are members of their community and fathers of their peers. You have the internet and could go look at women who consented to be looked at doing just about anything but you're intrigued about looking at pictures of underage girls you know? Do you get pleasure in the feeling of violating them? Would it be more fun if you told them, maybe if they got upset and you could then blame and shame them for it?

It's frickin nasty. Mean spirited and nasty.

And guys wonder why women and girls don't trust you more easily.

Yeah I'm definitely glad that cell phones weren't around when I was young. And that the adult events I go to prohibit them. I much prefer to have my consent respected, when it comes to who is seeing what of me.

And lest we think it, boys aren't safe either. I know a boy who was conned, thinking he was video chatting with a girl, but it was a scammer who took video of him and threatened to send it to his friends and family unless he sent money. Kids need to be educated by their parents about the risks of this stuff, seriously.

I agree with you. This mindset is disturbing, disappointing, and sad.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by bobspez

I don't see it that way at all. As a parent who had a boy and two girls I'd want to know who these girls were and what was on the videos. If my daughters said they wanted to go over to these girls houses I wouldn't allow it. If they asked why, I'd tell them because the girls made sex videos. If they said that wasn't true, I'd want to be able to tell them I knew it was because I saw them. I wouldn't want to condemn these girls based on rumors. I wouldn't be looking at the videos for sexual stimulation any more than law enforcement does when they look at child porn. And looking at them wouldn't bother me one way or the other unless it was my daughters on them. There's a lot more tragic things on the nightly news from the Ukraine than any teenage sex videos.

This is all hypothetical anyway, but I could imagine these girls weren't victims, they probably thought if celebrities can release sex tapes and get famous, then they can too. I know kids are and have been sexually active in high school since my kids were in high school, and they still are. If kids are having sex, the videos are sort of irrelevant.

Ohhhkayyy. So since some guys only understand things if you do this exercise, how bout this for ya...

One of your daughters was dating a boy and he persuaded her to send him a graphic nude video or photo. Unfortunately, he shared it with others. You hear that a dozen Dads out there looked at it. You have no idea how many of them were perving on it, hey maybe they were just "curious"... How do you feel about that?

Do you think she deserves to be ground into the dirt with humiliation because she trusted one boy she shouldn't have?

There have been suicides over this kind of thing.

Kids make mistakes. But apparently only girls should be expected to pay for them.

You put more accountability and responsibility for judgment on the head of a female child than on that of a grown arse man.

Bet you're no "bad boy" type either. You sound like a real upstanding moral citizen. By the by, to kinda circle round, this is the sort of thing I was talking about. I've heard more like this from the clean cut church going set than EVER from my own "delinquent" circles.

But hey. Psychopaths, right?

[Toxic Waltz]

Originally Posted by bobspez

I don't see it that way at all. As a parent who had a boy and two girls I'd want to know who these girls were and what was on the videos. If my daughters said they wanted to go over to these girls houses I wouldn't allow it. If they asked why, I'd tell them because the girls made sex videos. If they said that wasn't true, I'd want to be able to tell them I knew it was because I saw them. I wouldn't want to condemn these girls based on rumors. I wouldn't be looking at the videos for sexual stimulation any more than law enforcement does when they look at child porn. And looking at them wouldn't bother me one way or the other unless it was my daughters on them. There's a lot more tragic things on the nightly news from the Ukraine than any teenage sex videos.

This is all hypothetical anyway, but I could imagine these girls weren't victims, they probably thought if celebrities can release sex tapes and get famous, then they can too. I know kids are and have been sexually active in high school since my kids were in high school, and they still are. If kids are having sex, the videos are sort of irrelevant.

I want to know if my son has that stuff on his phone but I don't want details. I get the angle where you'd want to know if your daughter was running with the "fast" girls or not but even then, if I need that info I'll get it second hand from my wife. I'll tell them I know the vids exist because their mother told me.

[moongirl00]

One also can't assume just because there is a sex video that it was made consensually. Its possible the person being recorded had no idea.

Even if they do consent to being filmed or photographed, it is a serious CRIME to leak those videos or even show them around without someone's consent.

Its disturbing how some posters here are so casually talking about engaging in seriously CRIMINAL behavior as if its a totally normal thing to do.

And they are blaming and shaming possible underage victims for things done to them possibly nonconsensual or coerced or forced. The assumption to jump to is "She is just a and deserves to be ostracized and shamed.". These are children being talked about this way!

This is not ok.

When are we going to shift from shaming and blaming victims of things like sexual assault, revenge porn, and sexual exploitation, and start shaming and blaming the perpetrators of said crimes?