Faking on Social Media (girlfriend, parent, issues, problems)

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by treemoni

Why do you all spend so much time worrying about whether stories on an "anonymous" public message board are real or fake? I'm not trying to be snarky here. Isn't the point of you having an account to add your perspective to a discussion? Are you replying to people or ideas?

I mostly agree with this. There used to be, and maybe still is, a certain 'retired' poster who would get banned over and over again yet still kept coming back with his rather interesting fake scenarios asking for advice. I think most regular posters recognized him, but it was still kind of fun to get into these 'what if' kinds of discussions, even if they weren't true. For me it's almost always about the ideas.

A lot of people seem to get angry though because they feel misled, feel manipulated, or just don't appreciate 'wasting' their emotions on fake situations. Me, I don't generally get that heavily invested in them in the first place, I just state my opinions for people to take or leave.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by tamajane

That sounds lovely, that is the kind of thing I'd love to see more of on social media than the routine stuff that many people post about all day or a bunch of vacation shots with filters that make the poster look fabulous, and the scenery or historic site around them is secondary.

Photography that is done for the art of it is genuine, not boring unless the person posting it is always the star of the photos (with some exceptions- some talented people do interesting photos with themselves as subject). But a lot of people just want their car selfie and picture of their pasta salad lunch liked by all.

The last time I posted a selfie was a few weeks ago. The area where I am staying has this beautiful creek that runs to Lake Ontario, and one part of the creek winds through a steep-sided valley. There is a set of metal stairs, 75 in all, that takes you from one side of the creek up the side of the valley where you find yourself suddenly out of nature and near the busy main street of a town. I took a great shot of the creek and all the greenery surrounding it from halfway up the stairs and posted it on FB, and then when I got to the top, I took a selfie of me lying on s bench with my eyes crossed and my tongue hanging out looking like I was about to DIE because that's how I felt. Trust me, it wasn't flattering, it was meant to make somebody laugh, and that's something I can do with a selfie pretty well.

[modest]

Some people put a lot of emphasis into self-branding and reputation. As such, they put a lot of effort into promoting a certain self-image to the public. On LinkedIn, it could be flexing and humble bragging about a promotion, volunteer work (virtue signaling), or trying to be a thought leader on some topic. On Facebook/Instagram, it could be about portraying your life as exciting and glamorous even though it may only be on the surface.

At its core, it's the idea of portraying yourself as something that you think will garner others respect, admiration, and adoration at the expense of being your genuine self. You are doing these things not necessarily because you want to, but because you think you need to.

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by modest

At its core, it's the idea of portraying yourself as something that you think will garner others respect, admiration, and adoration at the expense of being your genuine self. You are doing these things not necessarily because you want to, but because you think you need to.

It’s ultimately about respecting one’s self; and those who do have no need for (multiple) fake identities to express their opinion or share photos. It’s also knowing about what to share - or when; but many appear (in this thread) to consider it ‘fake’ when others only discuss the positive - as if all of us must be unhappy, angry and anxiety-prone on social media in order to be ‘real’.

I also think there are some who simply don’t enjoy it, as a whole; naturally, that’s okay too. However, it’s nonsensical to discuss how others use social media; all that matters is how you use it - or don’t. At the end of the day, there are fake people everywhere on and off social media; it’s a matter of who one chooses to be around/follow/friend.

[modest]

Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy

At the end of the day, there are fake people everywhere on and off social media; it’s a matter of who one chooses to be around/follow/friend.

I agree.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by judd2401

Social media has created an alternative reality. Plain and simple. I don't usually believe what I read on social media sights, especially dating sites. It's a playground for telling falsehoods, prompting emotional responses from others, intentionally posting misleading stories, posing as a character or fantasy, and on and on. Our cell phones have become an "add on" to our brains, people spend more time on their phones then they do socializing in person. It has changed our society in many ways and has made it difficult to know where the truth lies, and therefore to trust others in general. Alternative "truths", i.e., lying, has become acceptable, has been mainstreamed and is practiced by many, very unfortunate.

I agree. What bugs me is when people pass on outlandish stories they get from others without doing the most basic validation of it before they pass it on. Just spend 3 minutes online to see if it's true or not, check on Snopes, anything. It's like the more social media use increases, the lower critical thinking skills become.


But the fakers, I don't see. I rarely go on FB, but the only people I have friended is family and a few close friends. None of them try to look more special than they are or fake, etc. My niece posts pictures of recipes she's made, the other posts videos of her kid's home run in baseball, things like that. My brother likes to post quizzes, usually related to the old days.

[51squirrel33]

In principal, no one should beleive the story from a poster they don't know. Consider it as novel, and relate to it as fictional.

[CorporateCowboy]

Originally Posted by 51squirrel33

In principal, no one should beleive the story from a poster they don't know. Consider it as novel, and relate to it as fictional.

Yeah, I agree; that said, relative to the Forum, why is anyone ‘telling stories’ anyway? Heh, I’ve seen a few doozies, to be sure, despite this being an anonymous place i.e. I don’t share my personal life, only opinion. Yet, I’ve been prompted to many times.

Hence my earlier point, only interact with (or follow/friend) people you know on social media (or know to be legit/worth your time). I’m flabbergasted at how many waste (an exorbitant amount of) energy/time on social media, particularly when it’s fake, lol. For what purpose?

[DeanoSF]

I was once stalked on City Data for a period of over 4 years by a couple of posters. It went on that long, because, for the first 2 years, they only posted incessant contradictory posts to innocuous subjects I'd raise, like where I liked to go out for happy hours around San Francisco, or comments I made about architecture or public transit. They'd try to nitpick things I said to "prove" I was faking my SF life (though they didn't actually say that was their motive at the time). Turns out, their motive was to see if I would admit to following them on Second Life, or otherwise slip up and reveal my Second Life identity (which I didn't have, because I had never been on Second Life (my response at learning this motive--get a first life.))

Then one day, I got a PM accusing me of outlandish things--that I was part of a large ring of middle-aged women, whose friend groups overlapped with theirs and that I had been "outed" as someone who had stolen one of the couple's ID in Second Life and had plastered many social media outlets with fake stories about them, because I was a jilted middle aged woman who was obsessed with this guy and his new girlfriend. I have never represented myself here as anything other than what I am--a straight man.

This gang of posters apparently posted "thousands of things" across multiple channels, and I was suspected -- for YEARS, remember -- of being its ringleader. They even went so far as to tell me they had investigators on the case and plenty of evidence (and that proving my involvement was "beyond easy." Legal action would follow.) I asked several times to show one bit of evidence--got nothing.

I tried to bring their suspicions to a hasty close- offering to submit to moderators my permission to verify my IP address and prove I did live in SF, as that was their main contention--the group they were after was out of state. They would not take me up on my offer, because they ramped up their accusations to include that I was part of the City Data ownership team and that they somehow permitted me to stalk them.

Over the following 2 years, I would often "ignore" them both for long periods of time, but they would post in threads I started or participated in, purposefully diverting the topic and flooding it with "last-word" non-sequiturs, and I would, reluctantly, respond. They also (more brazenly) attacked and harassed me via PM, which I reported to mods on several occasions, as PMs are held to the same standards as general posts in this regard.

I'd get harassing PMs accusing me of being a woman in Texas, obsessed with this guy (I have never met) and his girlfriend's plastic surgery (also have never met her) and leading this ring of posters across social media channels, faking living in California, in cahoots with City Data to torment them, faking being a lawyer in Texas to harass them, and even going as far as to create entries on Urban Dictionary about them that somehow made an inside joke that they found offensive. Every so often a threat of legal action came, too, bolstered by "absolute certainty" that I was the offender--it was only a matter of time.

I finally figured out the language that would put an end to it, and started embarrassing them on the forum for all these ridiculous accusations they were making, if I couldn't convince them I had no role in any of this. (Cheers, if they happen to see this! )

And it finally stopped.

4+ years of that ridiculousness. I'm sure they did some of it out of simple entertainment value (I answered the early argumentative posts for the same) but to hang onto a delusion like that for over 4 years?

Never underestimate the amount of time someone is willing to put into something as silly as faking (accusations, identities, issues, etc.) on social media...even someone who claims not to care anything about such things or to have any motivation in that regard.

[otterhere]

I don't even know what "Second Life" is, nor do I care to, but there IS one poster here (or who used to be here) who seems to keep a dossier on every poster's bio and stats and rolls them all out like "This Is Your Life!" in her responses to posts...

It's not necessarily a "gotcha" thing, but most posters probably don't appreciate having every little bread crumb they've ever left online laid out like an obituary.

I know I don't; not because I'm "faking," but because I value my anonymity and wouldn't want anyone I happen to know to recognize me with all dots connected.

She not the only one here who delights in "outing" posters, either. I find it rude.