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Some people put a lot of emphasis into self-branding and reputation. As such, they put a lot of effort into promoting a certain self-image to the public.
Agreed! This is (supposed to be) a Forum relative to opinion, not a promotion of one’s personal life/drama or mental health issues regarding their fake personas, harassment and/or spreading false rumor relative to others’ personal (or professional) lives. It can (and often does) have repercussions.
That said, an important point relative to the thread is the (ill) intent/psychological health of those who fake on social media and use ‘sock puppets’ - particularly over the course of time (and in multiple ways). There isn’t any legitimate reason to do so when it isn’t (even) necessary to disclose personal information to (people who claim to be) strangers. Example: I, for one, refuse to discuss my girlfriend/relationship (or anything about her) with fake personas, although I’m baited to do so non-stop (and have been accused of having a wife, cheating, whatever, lol). At best, it comes down to childish nonsense.
Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 07-14-2022 at 09:42 PM..
I don't even know what "Second Life" is, nor do I care to, but there IS one poster here (or who used to be here) who seems to keep a dossier on every poster's bio and stats and rolls them all out like "This Is Your Life!" in her responses to posts...
It's not necessarily a "gotcha" thing, but most posters probably don't appreciate having every little bread crumb they've ever left online laid out like an obituary.
I know I don't; not because I'm "faking," but because I value my anonymity and wouldn't want anyone I happen to know to recognize me with all dots connected.
She not the only one here who delights in "outing" posters, either. I find it rude.
I didn’t know what it was either. In fact, references to “SL” in accusations and unhinged rants I received went over my head, until I looked it up. It’s in fact, a make-believe video game that this couple was playing where they pretend to have more interesting lives than their real ones.
They had apparently gone too deeply into their make believe world and assumed that everyone (or, at least I and my group of middle-aged women) were also playing the game outside of Second Life, on City Data.
A pitiable and empty exaggeration of an already sad delusional existence.
I dunno, maybe it's just the way that my brain is wired, but I think that sometimes adding some information about one's life, if one is open to doing so, gives context to an opinion being shared. I'm pretty open at times (including about some things most consider to be too personal to talk about online) but there are other subjects that I keep much more private. Mostly I want others to understand what experiences I bring to back opinions that I hold. Like when I argue that something is possible, because I have SEEN IT happen plenty of times, against someone who says that something is basically impossible because stats they found on the internet painted a picture of it as being rare or unlikely.
And I discuss that which interests me.
But I don't really hold anything against anyone for what they choose to share or not, except insofar as occasionally people don't seem to be trying to keep TOS in mind. There are some areas where we do see baiting, bickering, name calling, or egregious descriptions of graphic sexual things (the occasional poster who wants to tell us the details of their own anatomical responses for instance...sheesh...) I know I've overshared at times, and it's been part of my own personal growth to try and be more respectful to others and not get into details of things that would cause discomfort.
About the only time I'm going to look at a poster's history, it's not about doing a "gotcha" or outing them for anything, it's when I have suspicions about their motives. When something gives me a weird feeling and I'm like, "what's up with this guy?" I'd rather not engage in conversation with someone who is just trying to bait and provoke, though I admit I've fallen for it before. Honestly there are a few posters, where I feel they view this board as a game to see if they can make other people upset, or to "win" by getting the last word or shutting down discussion. To me, that is not conversing with other people in good faith, which is what I'm here to do. But I am not aware of any rule that says that this site is only for sharing opinions, and not stories. We've got a number of threads that seem to be pretty much set up for sharing little anecdotes about life. Like the "friendly chat about anything" threads, and the "first world problems" one.
I recently had someone contact me who seemed to want to take a conversation off the message platform of this site, to some other method of communication. I declined. I have done so in the past with a few posters, but they were people I'd talked to a lot here, for years, and I had a good feeling about them, a sense that while I didn't "know them"...I knew more or less what they were about. They passed the gut check. A few I've even met in person, which I quite enjoyed and would do again...I'm a friendly human...but I feel that the more places you connect with strangers online, the more chance they have to mine more info about you, and even if it's just a matter of becoming a recipient of even more email and phone spam, I will pass on that. The platforms I even use are pretty limited anyways. What I think is downright fascinating, is how some posters have a distinctive "voice" in how they write, such that if they disappear and come back with a different name, it's still pretty easy to tell who they are.
I don't do "friends" here or engage in much, if any, off-site messaging. This isn't social media, in my opinion (it's at least not Facebook), and I value that difference. Others see no distinction and develop quite a following and social life on C-D, and that's their choice, but I definitely look at and address post first and poster second.
At any rate, documenting and revealing every tidbit everyone has ever disclosed in the course of every conversation is just...weird.
Last edited by otterhere; 07-15-2022 at 12:38 PM..
I don't do "friends" here or engage in much, if any, off-site messaging. This isn't social media, in my opinion (it's at least not Facebook), and I value that difference. Others see no distinction and develop quite a following and social life on C-D, and that's their choice, but I definitely look at and address post first and poster second.
At any rate, documenting and revealing every tidbit everyone has ever disclosed in the course of every conversation is just...weird.
You are not the only person that has commented on basically the same.
But I don't find it strange that people remember what another has said, and brings it up. It always baffles me when people get upset about that.
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It's weird that someone remembers EVERYTHING about EVERY poster -- it's not a one-time thing -- and feels the need to list ALL those details in one post when, often, it has nothing to do with the thread. It feels gratuitous, unnecessary, and...
It's weird that someone remembers EVERYTHING about EVERY poster -- it's not a one-time thing -- and feels the need to list ALL those details in one post when, often, it has nothing to do with the thread. It feels gratuitous, unnecessary, and...
Stalkerish.
I'm laughing right now, because I've got another problem with regard to this... There's always a chance I'm remembering something wrong. Like getting mixed up on something I would have sworn was part of one poster's back story but they never said that and it was probably somebody else... I am not gonna go through ten years of history or DMs to try and verify something, so I need to be really careful what I refer to!
Once in a while I'll be like, "do I remember correctly that you said, X? If that is the case, then why do you now say Y?" But I have to be humble about the fact that I could be wrong, I could be totally off. My memory is far from perfect!
Mostly I don't have a whole mental dossier on all the things about someone, more like just an impression if we have interacted enough in the past. "Need to not argue with this person, it leads to annoying results." Or "Love how this poster writes, enjoy talking with them." A vague positive or negative impression, maybe a detail or two that I've managed to remember.
For all that Corporate Cowboy here (*imaginary nod in his direction*) is saying he doesn't share much about himself, he has on rare occasion mentioned his vocation. This, I found helpful, because to me it gives some context to the way in which he sees various matters and argues in sometimes technical or semantic ways. I kinda feel that his job, which I assume he has told the truth about what it is, is probably a pretty good fit for his personality.
I think that having even a little sense of the background on someone, at least insofar as they make that possible, can give readers a feel for where they are coming from, and help in understanding things they are trying to say. Of course, nobody has any obligation to do so, and it's always possible that someone is misrepresenting themselves, but I'm not really invested enough to care.
Granted, but it's enough that you know (or think you know, if you're remembering correctly) what CC's vocation is. You don't feel compelled to announce it, along with his age, marital status, number of moles, and the name of the city in which he currently resides so anyone from there who happens to be here recognizes him.
I don't even know what "Second Life" is, nor do I care to, but there IS one poster here (or who used to be here) who seems to keep a dossier on every poster's bio and stats and rolls them all out like "This Is Your Life!" in her responses to posts...
It's not necessarily a "gotcha" thing, but most posters probably don't appreciate having every little bread crumb they've ever left online laid out like an obituary.
I know I don't; not because I'm "faking," but because I value my anonymity and wouldn't want anyone I happen to know to recognize me with all dots connected.
She not the only one here who delights in "outing" posters, either. I find it rude.
I know who you mean. She did it to me, posting something I had once revealed about a family member's illness into a thread into which it was completely irrelevant, so it was just done to be childishly mean and mock the illness. Although I have the power to delete it myself, I deferred it to the appropriate mod for that forum, who took care of it. She won't do that to me again, I'm pretty sure.
These types operate under the premise that since you revealed it here, it's open fodder for use against you. Technically they are correct, which is why I am much more cautious now about what I say, but it can also cross lines into personal attacks, which can include obvious stalking.
I had another, different poster who was stalking me around the forum, and then gathered things I had said and posted them in my state forum about me but took them out of context in a bizarre attempt to try to make me look bad. I didn't even see it until I got a couple of DMs from fellow state forum posters who told me that there was some weirdo saying things about me on the forum. I didn't have to complain, either--other mods saw it and sent her on a long infraction. Apparently she once did the same to someone else, and it was in her profile notes. The weirdest thing was that one of the things she said was that I beg people on City-Data to be friends with me. Couldn't figure that one out for the longest time, then it dawned on me one day that the NYC forum regulars were planning a meetup (which never happened), and since I posted on NYC because I worked there even though I didn't live there, I had asked if I could be included. I guess that was "begging people to be friends with me".
She's still here, but avoids me now, which is fine. I chalked it up to some sort of mental illness and let it go. As someone once said to me, better these types wield keyboards rather than weapons.
Granted, but it's enough that you know (or think you know, if you're remembering correctly) what CC's vocation is. You don't feel compelled to announce it, along with his age, marital status, number of moles, and the name of the city in which he currently resides so anyone from there who happens to be here recognizes him.
I don’t care if people recognize me; I’m not hiding. Hence I have had a little background information on my profile - since 2015. That said, I don’t share photos, my age (other than mid forties), or specifics about my profession/career/position, or relationship, etc - simply because I see CD as a Forum (relative to opinion), as opposed to social media or apps in which I’ve made (or continue) personal connections.
I find ‘fakes’/sock puppets to be much more willing to put themselves out there, as it’s not real information. They’re simply trying to ‘sell you’ on their game. Hence the reason I don’t get involved in the nonsense, and I laugh at the (anonymous) rep comments that sound as though they are from a thirteen-year-old girl, about my nonexistent ‘wife’. The ironic thing is they accuse her of being immature, lol. (MQ, thanks, you know what I’m talking about). :-)
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For all that Corporate Cowboy here (*imaginary nod in his direction*) is saying he doesn't share much about himself, he has on rare occasion mentioned his vocation. This, I found helpful, because to me it gives some context to the way in which he sees various matters and argues in sometimes technical or semantic ways. I kinda feel that his job, which I assume he has told the truth about what it is, is probably a pretty good fit for his personality. 
