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I must be very shallow then it’s not an ethic. All the decisions I have made were calculated risks and those that didn’t turn out I accepted as a consequence and a challenge. .It certainly hasn’t undermined the complexities I’ve had to face in life. I think for the most part I learned many of these lessons very early in life. This one in particular : “ To live life without regrets doesn’t mean you never make a mistake. It doesn’t mean you never fail. It means that you live life to the fullest and learn from your experiences.“ https://www.betterplaceforests.com/b...ithout-regrets
I believe in the butterfly effect. Our experiences shape our character, our results, where we are at certain times. A small change could have a huge difference. I know I have made mistakes and should have done things differently. But I wouldn't want to change who or where I am, so no regrets.
I actually had a dream around the time of my 20th HS reunion. I had been thrown back in time to spring of my senior year. And the only way to get back was to re-live it all. I decided I wasn't going to change a thing.
My wife and I met in our 30s and had been in the same city for 3 years before we met. But as much as we might have wanted to meet earlier, we know we met at the right time and place for us to get together. Another time might not have worked.
Even if you aren't happy where you are, you can't change it with regrets. Just do the best you can going forward.
I believe in the butterfly effect. Our experiences shape our character, our results, where we are at certain times. A small change could have a huge difference. I know I have made mistakes and should have done things differently. But I wouldn't want to change who or where I am, so no regrets.
I actually had a dream around the time of my 20th HS reunion. I had been thrown back in time to spring of my senior year. And the only way to get back was to re-live it all. I decided I wasn't going to change a thing.
My wife and I met in our 30s and had been in the same city for 3 years before we met. But as much as we might have wanted to meet earlier, we know we met at the right time and place for us to get together. Another time might not have worked.
Even if you aren't happy where you are, you can't change it with regrets. Just do the best you can going forward.
Something that has improved my mental health has been trying to repair what I have damaged whenever possible.
I don't have to fix it; I only have to make an honest effort. Then I've done what I can and have my own permission to free the regret.
I'm also with Spuggy in that if I can learn from a regret it wasn't an experience wasted. Some of my best lessons have come from bad experiences.
What about some of those ones which sneak back, unbidden, to nag at me? If I've already done what I can I recognize fussing about them as a bad habit that poisons my spirit and I give them the ol' Nancy Reagan treatment. "Just say, 'No.'"
I have a major regret in my life that has been weighing on me for a few years now. ... Its really amazing to see the commonalities of what people regret in their lives, despite age and gender.
I've never understood the hubris of one saying they have "no regrets." There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret a thoughtless response or action. There are some that weigh on me over time, but I've made what amends I can. I also take to heart my daily prayer's portion: "forgive me my trespasses, as I forgive those that have trespassed against me."
To be human is to make mistakes, to be better is to recognize, repent, and release -- to "go, and sin no more" as best we can -- until that next time.
I feel fortunate to not have many heavyweight regrets. Maybe that's because I've been able to put the others to rest by taking the licking I may have deserved, absorbing those lessons, and becoming a better person as a result of those licks. Sure, a few remain, but I choose to believe they have their uses...like flashing a Proceed With Caution warning on upcoming decisions I might be facing. There is one in particular I can't wrestle into place and doubt I ever will. It would probably seem rather trivial to others, but not to me. Just have to accept the fact it can't really be resolved.
I've never understood the hubris of one saying they have "no regrets." There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret a thoughtless response or action. There are some that weigh on me over time, but I've made what amends I can. I also take to heart my daily prayer's portion: "forgive me my trespasses, as I forgive those that have trespassed against me."
Amen to that, and "hubris" is a good word for it. There are also those who are simply in denial and make the conscience decision to refuse to think about the past (not sure how they do this; I lack that capacity) because, allegedly, they "can't change it." I've always envied those people, to an extent; admired them, in a way; even feared them, slightly.
I read once that sociopaths feel no remorse and make no amends because "it's over."
It's not quite human.
Last edited by otterhere; 10-02-2022 at 03:32 PM..
I think there are two general categories for "regrets." One is that which affects yourself (choices made, directions taken or not, etc.) and those that affect others (estrangement, breakups, maybe cruel treatment). I have more of the first kind than the second, although I recognize that I couldn't have been a different person at those times.
I've never understood the hubris of one saying they have "no regrets." There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret a thoughtless response or action. There are some that weigh on me over time, but I've made what amends I can. I also take to heart my daily prayer's portion: "forgive me my trespasses, as I forgive those that have trespassed against me."
To be human is to make mistakes, to be better is to recognize, repent, and release -- to "go, and sin no more" as best we can -- until that next time.
The corollary-forgive yourself. We are all human and fall short of perfection.
It goes completely against the pop-psychology notion of having "no regrets."
The concept of having "no regrets" is just that and right. There is no pop-psychology about it. It serves no purpose to live your life brooding about things that occured in the past that you can do nothing to change. All you can do is more forward, because there is no such thing as a time machine to go back and fix it. You learn from mistakes and on move. Living with no regrets is correct.
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it’s not an ethic. All the decisions I have made were calculated risks and those that didn’t turn out I accepted as a consequence and a challenge. .It certainly hasn’t undermined the complexities I’ve had to face in life. I think for the most part I learned many of these lessons very early in life. This one in particular : “ To live life without regrets doesn’t mean you never make a mistake. It doesn’t mean you never fail. It means that you live life to the fullest and learn from your experiences.“
yes the butterfly effect.
