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I believe in the butterfly effect. Our experiences shape our character, our results, where we are at certain times. A small change could have a huge difference. I know I have made mistakes and should have done things differently. But I wouldn't want to change who or where I am, so no regrets.
I actually had a dream around the time of my 20th HS reunion. I had been thrown back in time to spring of my senior year. And the only way to get back was to re-live it all. I decided I wasn't going to change a thing.
My wife and I met in our 30s and had been in the same city for 3 years before we met. But as much as we might have wanted to meet earlier, we know we met at the right time and place for us to get together. Another time might not have worked.
Even if you aren't happy where you are, you can't change it with regrets. Just do the best you can going forward.
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Originally Posted by Spuggy
Exactly yes the butterfly effect.
Agree...the butterfly effect. I'm 65 and can look back over the years and see the numerous small events which help shape where I am today.
But I can't complain too much. I've lived a full life. Never had time for a mid-life crisis because I was too busy
I think if you purposely hurt someone you should apologize if feasible and if it won’t cause more damage. I have a few regrets but try not to dwell on them as they are in the past. I try to focus on everything I have to be thankful for such as my kids, dogs, ability to still work at something part time and meaningful and wonderfully friends.
I believe that's the hardest part is forgiving oneself.....thank you for the link, greatly appreciate.
Yeah, I had it drilled into me that I should hold myself to a higher standard than others by people who has no standards themselves. It's a trick. I am not different than anyone else. I have forgiven others so I can be forgiven.
It’s self centered to say “I don’t have ANY regrets.” It’s a defense mechanism meant to protect oneself when they know they feel bad about something.
Everyone has regrets, but that’s different than the thread i.e. regrets weighing on you. In other words, if you can fix/change it or apologize, do so. If not, it serves no purpose to hang onto it; rather, it undermines your psychological health.
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Originally Posted by KittenSparkles
I have a major regret in my life that has been weighing on me for a few years now. Its regarding a relationship with a family member. They are still alive, so it’s possible I still have time to do something about it.
OP, why continue to regret that which you can do something about?
Well , life isn't always all just that easy, our emotions and feelings aren't just some switch.
lt's very easy to just type on a keyboard why this or just do that but reality is very different.
Regrets can be a very hard thing to shake , sometimes even after decades and some of us feel a lot more than others. Things don't just pass or go unnoticed the way they seem to for most.
l've found with age, that if there is a way and the opportunity arises, taking that hand given and doing something, saying something, apologizing or whatever the situation is called for if possible, is a nice way of cleaning the slate both ways.
After having a brush with death and horrendous injuries back in 2005 I came to the conclusion the best way for me to live was to stay resolved in my relationships every day. Say or do whatever must be said or done (all the time). That's all there is.
I used to hang onto losses and regretted this or that. That's a path for self induced sadness. We have to live in the present because the past is gone. GONE, as in, no longer here.
I started practicing mindfulness over 30 years ago, which is basically Zen meditation (and not a religion, there are no beliefs associated w/ it), and it changed my life. Which is why so many hospitals and other branches of medicine including psychology have been helping people w/ it. It's a simple discipline that allows us to let go of things in the past and live in the here and now. As long as we stay mired in the past, we are totally unable to enjoy our lives in the present world.
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yes the butterfly effect.
