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A few people who I know will make food for someone, without being asked, and try to force the person to eat it. Even if the person never asked for it, never stated that s/he likes it and may not even be hungry. Then the food-forced gets angry.
If you do this to people, why do you? Why make food for someone without knowing if the person likes it, and then getting angry at the person if the person doesn’t eat it?
I wonder if it is too much to fake appreciation for it and take a couple bites. When someone makes a meal just for you it is an insult not to at least taste it, hungry or not. Getting angry over it is a little over the top.
Hmm, I can't recall being forced to eat food someone else prepared that I didn't want. Unless it happened while I was wearing a onesy and diapers...
which is probably why I don't remember it.
For Pete's sake OP, grow a spine. Either decline politely or accept a small sample and deal with it for the sake of civility. Don't maneuver yourself into an awkward corner with some ornate explanation. It shouldn't be necessary. If the cook insists on being offended anyway, that's on them.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-02-2022 at 04:32 PM..
A few people who I know will make food for someone, without being asked, and try to force the person to eat it. Even if the person never asked for it, never stated that s/he likes it and may not even be hungry. Then the food-forced gets angry.
If you do this to people, why do you? Why make food for someone without knowing if the person likes it, and then getting angry at the person if the person doesn’t eat it?
It's a power trip, plain and simple. And a need for acknowledgement and validation. Just be firm, stand your group calmly and leave the scene if you have to. It's on them, like Parnassia said. It's their trip. Not about you. They'll try to make it about you, because that's part of the power trip.
A few people who I know will make food for someone, without being asked, and try to force the person to eat it. Even if the person never asked for it, never stated that s/he likes it and may not even be hungry. Then the food-forced gets angry.
If you do this to people, why do you? Why make food for someone without knowing if the person likes it, and then getting angry at the person if the person doesn’t eat it?
Culture. To offer someone food in many cultures is expected, to not eat it is a direct insult to the host. As a few other posters have said, you being hungry or not isn't the point, you are supposed to be gracious, take the food, eat a few bites at least, express how great it is, then move on. Nobody expects you to eat it all. In fact, eating it all will mean more food is piled on your plate because the first serving obviously wasn't enough.
Yes, this is h#ll for those of us (like myself) that can't just eat on command, especially because of allergies or sensitivities, or times when we choose to eat differently (like abstaining from meat on Friday.) Many hosts do not understand, and as mentioned, will take it personally. In those cultures, food is life, and often you are not many generations removed from lean times where this type of hospitality kept communities going when things got really hard.
Culture. To offer someone food in many cultures is expected, to not eat it is a direct insult to the host.
Very true. When I visited my ex-husband's country, we visited a family with a beautiful place by the water, it was so delightful... then came the meal. I have no idea what it was, but it was a kind of congealed mess. I kept whispering to my MIL that I just could not eat it and she kindly said "please, you must." I was pregnant too! I've blocked it out, but I think I did take a few bites. I still feel so bad about it! These were lovely people, and their country is known for its excellent etiquette, especially around food and guests. It's good to research the special foods served to foreign guests and be prepared. I was there before the age of the internet and many books on the subject, so I was unfortunately unprepared.
I have never in my life heard of such a thing...a hostess expecting and verbalizing that you had to eat something? My goodness!
I'm wondering if I had to eat something...which I can't imagine...I could hold my stomach and say,
"I'm not feeling well."
Go into the bathroom...
Then say," I'm sorry, I better go home and lay down, gee...."
But, it would have to be pretty darn bad food!
(Btw,''Congealed mess'' - LOL, gave you a rep. I have a friend, her food has been called slop.)
This wasn't a hosting situation. This person barged into his home while he was eating dinner, slammed another full meal in the table in front of him, and forced him to eat it.
Be sure to check out the "Adult Picky Eater" thread that began in "Food and Drink" and ended up in "Relationships" for a prime example of this.
It's a combination of control freak and food snobbery, IMO.
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