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CleverGirl gets it. I think I would have tried to take that tack, too. NO on the going to dinner with the ladies, since this WAS a girls' weekend. Perhaps you all were trying to be nice to him and not brush him off, and hey, he was offering to pay, so I kinda get that.
If you and the other married woman didn't want him around though, you should have spoken to the other ladies and made that clear.
It's concerning, too, that one of the single ladies went off in a vehicle with him. He was drunk, she'd been drinking, too - could have ended badly.
But you definitely could have ended this when the suggestion was made to go have shots. IMO.
It doesn't much matter how to characterize him in this scenario....you could have given him the heave-ho.
CleverGirl gets it. I think I would have tried to take that tack, too. NO on the going to dinner with the ladies, since this WAS a girls' weekend. Perhaps you all were trying to be nice to him and not brush him off, and hey, he was offering to pay, so I kinda get that.
If you and the other married woman didn't want him around though, you should have spoken to the other ladies and made that clear.
It's concerning, too, that one of the single ladies went off in a vehicle with him. He was drunk, she'd been drinking, too - could have ended badly.
But you definitely could have ended this when the suggestion was made to go have shots. IMO.
It doesn't much matter how to characterize him in this scenario....you could have given him the heave-ho.
We DID give him the heeve ho...eventually. when he entered the RV without knocking. YES, we should've turned down his original offer. We know that for next time...if we do a girls-only weekend again. We lived, we learned.
We DID give him the heeve ho...eventually. when he entered the RV without knocking. YES, we should've turned down his original offer. We know that for next time...if we do a girls-only weekend again. We lived, we learned.
Actually, if it was an "all-girls weekend," you should've nipped it in the bud from the beginning. Certainly hanging out extensively and then allowing him to buy all FOUR of your dinners -- good golly, that must've set him back a pretty penny in these inflationary times -- sent the wrong signal. Poor guy probably thought he was in for a good time! And who knows that happened in that car? It sounds like you're trying to blame him in retrospect for your own bad decisions and get the entire forum to back you up on that.
Actually, if it was an "all-girls weekend," you should've nipped it in the bud from the beginning. Certainly hanging out extensively and then allowing him to buy all FOUR of your dinners -- good golly, that must've set him back a pretty penny in these inflationary times -- sent the wrong signal. Poor guy probably thought he was in for a good time! And who knows that happened in that car? It sounds like you're trying to blame him in retrospect for your own bad decisions and get the entire forum to back you up on that.
I think I've been pretty clear what I blame him for. And I think I've been pretty upfront with our part in it. Thanks anyway Mod cut..
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-05-2023 at 08:17 PM..
Reason: Rude.
He's a ____, which I won't type out here, for sure! A narc, most likely. I'm a good judge of character & if you knew he was tiresome, obnoxious, annoying, etc., there's NO WAY in ___ I'd let him ruin any minute of MY life. I can't believe a single person was enabled by you all to disrupt & dictate how the whole evening went! Who the ___ is he?! Outrageous!
From the beginning when he first came onto the scene, I would have huddled all the ladies over & pre-warned them that he's a ___ & we should get him to leave ASAP. If anyone still wanted to hang out w/ him, that's on them. Then, they can go off w/ him somewhere.
Otherwise, the next best thing you should have done was...if I was in this group of you ladies AND there was more than 1 vehicle, I would have separated myself from him even if everyone else chooses to go along w/ him. So be it. I'd still be having the better time. But I know, only having the 1 vehicle/RV, you were stuck, but still should have made him leave much sooner.
Then, after being back home from the whole trip, I wouldn't want to hang out w/ people who didn't have better judgment than that & put me in such misery & possible danger w/ this guy, but YOU let a lot of things slide & went along w/ it too. No one has to buy my dinner or a thing else just to keep hanging around. If he's bad, he's bad...get outta here. Heck, I would have left the trip early if I really saw things getting much worse.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 08-05-2023 at 12:54 PM..
He's a ____, which I won't type out here, for sure! A narc, most likely. I'm a good judge of character & if you knew he was tiresome, obnoxious, annoying, etc., there's NO WAY in ___ I'd let him ruin any minute of MY life. I can't believe a single person was enabled by you all to disrupt & dictate how the whole evening went! Who the ___ is he?! Outrageous!
From the beginning when he first came onto the scene, I would have huddled all the ladies over & pre-warned them that he's a ___ & we should get him to leave ASAP. If anyone still wanted to hang out w/ him, that's on them. Then, they can go off w/ him somewhere.
Otherwise, the next best thing you should have done was...if I was in this group of you ladies AND there was more than 1 vehicle, I would have separated myself from that obbnoxious, boisterous, ____, even if everyone else chooses to go along w/ him. So be it. I'd still be having the better time.
We were at a lake, and he was there first.
Second...he didn't get obnoxious until the restaurant.
Social boar and obnoxious drunk who thought since you all accepted having your dinners / drinks payed for and went along with him that he could get away with it because there was no boundary setting.
I think he thought he could get away with a lot more than just being overbearing because he "bought" their attention. I think he was aiming for the ultimate "prize" with that one woman he was interested in.
OP, alcohol, especially a LOT of alcohol, consumed by one guy with a group of women is NOT a situation you want to leave unguarded. It's a statistic waiting to happen. Good that you called security, or pretended to have called. (Did you really? Did they show up?)
Boy, this really makes you think twice and more about one or more single guys offering to treat one or more ladies, doesn't it? Especially a guy you don't know very well. A spontaneous offer to buy dinner for 4 women. Hmm.....
Second...he didn't get obnoxious until the restaurant.
Understood but in your first paragraph you said "He has some quirks that I find tiring and tiresome"
There's no trip/vacation I would take that would willingly allow someone like that to glom on.
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