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Our society puts to much pressure on married couples. They expect that the spouse to provide most social, intellectual and intimate conversational needs to their partner.
This expectation is really hard on the men. Because men's friendships in general are not as close as a woman, many men are lonely. Men's friendships are best described as buddies, activity partners, and sports participants. They are not likely to provide the deep friendship that most women have with their close girl friends.
Many men tell me that while they love their wife and enjoy the the time they spend with each other, they would like to communicate in a personal and close way to other human beings. But again, the type of relationships men have with each other do not allow the type of closeness they need. There are things that the men would like to talk about that their male buddies will not discuss and their spouse just have no interest in.
What is a man to do? His social and conversational needs can not be met by just one woman. He loves his wife but feels unfulfilled. Married Men need close women friends! Don't you agree?
Last edited by email_lover; 07-08-2010 at 01:45 PM..
No. I think you should marry your best friend and having other women around is just asking for trouble. Best friends can talk about anything. My s.o. really does not talk about anything much with other people. We were best friends first though and we grew to talk about more stuff. He is rather private with outsiders. He admits he has trust issues. He however does not meet all my needs really conversationally. But its getting better since he has gone back to school. His conversations are more diverse. But there are subjects he really has nothing to say about because he has no interest in them and it drives me crazy sometimes. So I just read and day dream instead.
I don't know. I don't want to be someone that is jealous and won't let me talk to other women. But, on the other hand, probably my number one requirement is that I find somebody that I am just fascinated to hear speak. I TOTALLY could not settle for somebody I couldn't connect with, conversation wise, on every level.
No, I disagree. If he needs to talk to someone about personal things that he can't discuss with his wife, his buddies, or his family, then perhaps he should turn to a therapist. They are paid to listen.
My wife is my best friend, and we can usually talk about almost anything. I have other friends I can talk with about the few subjects my wife and I don't because we don't share a common interest in a few things. And sometimes I may need advice about her, and so talking with someone else can help in those rare instances. She has some other friends she can talk to about subjects that don't much interest me.
I have about as many female friends as I have male friends. Unlike pitt, I don't find having female friends around creates any problems at all. That's probably because of two things: I can clearly make the distinction between a friend and someone who is more than a friend (i.e., my wife), so female friends don't get hit on by me and wouldn't get anywhere if they hit on me; and secondly, my wife isn't at all jealous, is always welcome to come along if I see a female friend, and is happy that I have such good friends of whatever gender.
No. I know nothing about baseball and he is far more interested in different bands and music than I ever will be. Those things are what he likes to talk about almost all the time. It didn't used to be that way but that's how it is now. Maybe that's one reason we are getting divorced. Well that and his "close personal friendship" with another woman. LOL
Our society puts to much pressure on married couples. They expect that the spouse it suppose to provide most social, intellectual and intimate conversational needs to their partner.
This expectation is really hard on the men. Because men's friendships in general are not as close as a woman, many men are lonely. Men's friendships are best described as buddies, activity partners, and sports participants. They are not likely to provide the deep friendship that most women have with their close girl friends.
Many men tell me that while they love their wife and enjoy the the time they spend with each other, they would like to communicate in a personal and close way to other human beings. But again, the type of relationships men have with each other do not allow the type of closeness they need. There are things that the men would like to talk about that their male buddies will not discuss and their spouse just have no interest in.
What is a man to do? His social and conversational needs can not be met by just one woman. He loves his wife but feels unfulfilled. Married Men need close women friends! Don't you agree?
uh, no.
Men with close women friends is a recipe for disaster, sorry.
I do not think it is healthy to expect your spouse to be your only source for high quality conversation. Sure the men can talk about baseball or work out at the gym together but typical men talk is boring. Us women have it easier, we can have our husband as our best friend but have close women friends we can share intimate conversation. Men are not getting much good conversation from their buddies (other men). So this puts incredible pressure on their spouse to be their only real friend. I think it is to much to expect from one person.
I do not think it is healthy to expect your spouse to be your only source for high quality conversation. Sure the men can talk about baseball or work out at the gym together but typical men talk is boring. Us women have it easier, we can have our husband as our best friend but have close women friends we can share intimate conversation. Men are not getting much good conversation from their buddies (other men). So this puts incredible pressure on their spouse to be their only real friend. I think it is to much to expect from one person.
Dont know where you are living, but all the men I know have very intimate conversations with their buddies.
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People are misunderstanding the question!
