Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you are talking about the kind of relationship where you are lead around by a dog collar most of your waking hours etc. yes I find it obsessive not of the norm and indicative of some kind of trauma in childhood etc. Maybe from a dad where the only attention you got was from a spanking. I'm arm chairing here.
My biological father was not present but I have contact with him.My step father raised me and my brothers and sisters as my own and he was never abusive to me.I had a great childhood by all accounts.
Lack of attention was not a problem because we all did Judo together and went to competitons ect.He always made time for us.
Well this thread is quite interesting. Can't say that I would want to live the master/servant lifestyle 24/7, but I won't knock people who choose to do so.
What do your family and friends think of the way you live your life, or do they know?
My family is very active in the LDS faith and they have no idea.I keep it from them at all costs.
As for friends I moved around every 7-10 years due to my father's job and the only constant friend I have is a fellow sub.I suffer from panic disorder which lead to agoraphobia so I never had any interest in looking for friends aside from her.
I don't mind dominating a woman but I have a hard time with causing tough pain on a woman, even when she requests it.
There is a huge problem with this mis-concept. One is not necessarily essential to the other. They are two sides of the same coin - related but not intertwined UNLESS the partie wish them to be.
Read on, I will explain at the end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode
Can you realistically see yourself living this lifestyle long term?
Some of us do - and have. It's the role-play and the protocol (which are NOT essential components of the relationship) that generally don't survive if, in fact, they were a part of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer
Whatever rocks your boat I guess but I will never understand it. I have no desire to have a "slave" and to dominate nor to be a "slave" and be dominated. I do not understand anyone who wants to physically inflict pain on other human beings or to humiliate them nor why anyone would want pain and humiliation to be inflicted upon them.
I like relationships of equal. Anyone tries to whip me or make me submissive
Apples to oranges - whip you is S&M, submissive is relationship - you can have one without the other - or you can mix them but they can AND DO exist separately.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WannaliveinGreenville
I have a question : I notice you only call him Master when you refer to us here about him.
Not * Joe * or my bf , / fiance .
I know one sub personally ( not to give my life away here ) but he refers to said person in many ways " Honey , baby , My girl , and of course Princess ( another word for Mistress )
So when you talk to him , must you address him always as Master ?
I have known men in my past who were really into the submissive role who always called me Mistress ...never really anything else so I would assume they really love saying Mistress just as you love saying Master to your guy ?
Nah, you didn't give away anything. Are you in a 24/7 relationship with any one in particular or do you mostly Top?
OK, folks - here's the REST of the story but first, the BEGINNING.
Basics: BDSM - Bondage, Dominance (or discipline), Sado-Masochism. Each are separate elements under the large umbrella term. There are other elements, such as fetishes and spankers, but we're basically one large group.
A relationship is just that, a relationship. It is a means by which people relate to each other. In a vanilla relationship, such as many of you reading this have, it may look like an Ozzie & Harriet set-up or a Ozzie & Sharon relationship. The thing is it isn't about singing or dancing or business or play or judging who has talent.
So, a Master/slave or Dominant/submissive or Owner/property relationship is about how the two (or more) parties interact with each other. It may be a Southern Baptist type "vanilla" relationship or a Hindu or Muslim relationship. It has NOTHING to do with pain or bondage or whether one eats from a bowl on the floor. It is simply that one person makes decisions and the other doesn't. There are variations within the groupings (no 2 relationships are the same obviously since no 2 people are the same). Someone leads the dance and someone follows.
Generally, within the above relationships, regardless of the gender or sex of the parties within said relationship, the one who is "in charge" is served by the one who is not. OK, looks pretty lopsided, doesn't it. But consider this: the one who is "doing the work" doesn't HAVE to be the one making decisions or worrying about the bills being paid; the one being served has ALL the responsibility not only for the household but for the relationship and for the individuals within the relationship. Whew - that's a lot of responsibility and that person deserves the perks! In a basic relationship, the D-type is faced with a decision. Sounds easy, right? WRONG. S/he has to decide first of all, what decision will best serve the relationship - as a unit, what will make it stronger; then has to take into consideration what is good for the individuals within that relationship and because the D-type is the kind of individual s/he is, the serving folks in the relationship are considered even before the D-type considers his/her own needs. EXCEPT in a M/s relationship where the Master - as a rule (don't forget there are exceptions to every rule in life) - generally considers slaves as property and therefore does not consider their needs before his.
Now, if you're still with me...........
There's role-play and play and protocol. These are NOT a part of the base relationship although they may be incorporated into the relationship much like a vanilla husband and wife might decide to go to the movies or join a bowling league.
In the OP's situation, they have established some protocols: one of which is how she eats and what/when she eats. That is not true for all M/s, D/s, O/p relationships. It is a "game" (the op's term), play, or protocol. SOME relationships have it, some do not.
Pain - that's the S&M part generally - and it can exist all on its own. But a lot of people use it for discipline much like a vanilla wife might decide not to make her husband's favorite dinner because she is mad at him, etc. Some relationships have pain, some don't - usually referred to as "scening" or "punishment".
Bondage - again, not a part of the relationship itself but may be incorporated by some in this type of relationship and OFTEN used by "vanillas".
I will stop here, because many of you have zoned out on me.
Ask questions. I need to go shopping (again) because that's what I do. I will be back to answer questions. There are at least 4 others with years of lifestyle experience who may or may not choose to out themselves as completely as I have and provide some answers. But in any case, your questions will be answered.
In the OP's situation, they have established some protocols: one of which is how she eats and what/when she eats. That is not true for all M/s, D/s, O/p relationships. It is a "game" (the op's term), play, or protocol. SOME relationships have it, some do not.
Pain - that's the S&M part generally - and it can exist all on its own. But a lot of people use it for discipline much like a vanilla wife might decide not to make her husband's favorite dinner because she is mad at him, etc. Some relationships have pain, some don't - usually referred to as "scening" or "punishment".
Bondage - again, not a part of the relationship itself but may be incorporated by some in this type of relationship and OFTEN used by "vanillas".
I will stop here, because many of you have zoned out on me.
Ask questions. I need to go shopping (again) because that's what I do. I will be back to answer questions. There are at least 4 others with years of lifestyle experience who may or may not choose to out themselves as completely as I have and provide some answers. But in any case, your questions will be answered.
I indulge in the whole 'pain' area in both the scening and punishment fashions.Bondage is something that I enjoy and it is a part of what we do as well.
Are there really at least four others on this forum who are familiar with this?
I'll probably be struck down quick for asking this question, but I'd like your thoughts OP (as well as NY Annie's since I believe she has a psych background).
Do you think your agoraphobia lends to your desire to be in this M/s lifestyle? Now I'm not saying that everyone in this type of relationship has some psychological dx, but I wonder if in your case OP, it plays a big role in your desire for someone else to control you, manage your life and give you a sense of security.
From the Mayo Clinic:
Symptoms
A phobia is the excessive fear of a specific object, circumstance or situation. Agoraphobia is excessive worry about having a panic attack in a public place. Typical agoraphobia symptoms include:
Fear of being alone
Fear of being in crowded places, such as in a shopping mall or sports stadium
Fear of losing control in a public place
Fear of being in places where it may be hard to leave, such as an elevator or train
Inability to leave your house for long periods (housebound)
I'll probably be struck down quick for asking this question, but I'd like your thoughts OP (as well as NY Annie's since I believe she has a psych background).
Do you think your agoraphobia lends to your desire to be in this M/s lifestyle? Now I'm not saying that everyone in this type of relationship has some psychological dx, but I wonder if in your case OP, it plays a big role in your desire for someone else to control you, manage your life and give you a sense of security.
From the Mayo Clinic:
Symptoms
A phobia is the excessive fear of a specific object, circumstance or situation. Agoraphobia is excessive worry about having a panic attack in a public place. Typical agoraphobia symptoms include:
Fear of being alone
Fear of being in crowded places, such as in a shopping mall or sports stadium
Fear of losing control in a public place
Fear of being in places where it may be hard to leave, such as an elevator or train
Inability to leave your house for long periods (housebound)
Sense of helplessness
Overdependence on others
A sense that your body is unreal
The thing with agoraphobia and panic disorders is that not everyone has all of the symptoms.I have no fear of being alone.If anything I enjoy being alone.I have no fear of crowded places.I have a fear of being in unpopulated areas because people who have panic disorders have a fear of people knowing about it and thinking they are crazy so in order to function I like being near places with bathrooms so I can go in there and isolate myself until my attack subsides.I hate being in places that are hard to leave such as cars and school classrooms.I was a home bound agoraphobic so yes I have that fear.I do not feel helpless.I have no dependence on others and I do not get that 'body is unreal' sensation like some do thank goodness.
Yup. Geeky Ren Faire. (If I'm spelling that right.) Not that the two are mutually exclusive. It was more that at first, I was a little shocked to find that the MIT "geeks & nerds" are often seriously kinky, when they present as being really mild...or even painfully dorky.
I also think Maria's work with lost languages sounds interesting.
I knew one handsome IT guy who was very kinky.
Then I knew a brilliant 30 year old geek who was dull in bed except for his oral skills :
Sorry did not mean to steal OPs thread.
Just wanted you to know some Geeks are boring in bed...
I'll probably be struck down quick for asking this question, but I'd like your thoughts OP (as well as NY Annie's since I believe she has a psych background).
Do you think your agoraphobia lends to your desire to be in this M/s lifestyle?
It seems I got caught up in my disorder and forgot to answer the question!
I do not think it lends to my desire at all and if anything it would discourage it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
