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This was discussed on another thread recently and I wanted to get some opinions on what some of you consider being out of one's league when matching up with a potential partner.
For me, I've never really subscribed to the idea that someone is too good looking for someone else to be with. When I think of leagues I'm thinking more in terms of overall compatibility, social circles, and in some cases education and status. An example of what I'm talking about would be:
A nerdy yet intelligent Bill Gates type (without the billions of dollars) pursuing someone like Kim Kardashian or Snooky from Jersey Shore. I would say he's casting his net way out of his league because of the glaring differences in social circles, lifestyle, and lack of common interests. He could be an attractive guy with six pack abs, but if his idea of a good time is attending Star Trek conventions and discussing quantum physics, he's not a good match for these ladies and they are out of his league or they may be out of his league if they were pursuing him.
So when you think of someone being out of their league while in pursuit of companionship, what comes to mind?
That term has so many connotations, physically, intellectually, financially.
I tend to think of it more in financial terms and then in physical terms. Sometimes they go hand in hand, for example I am not pretty enough to try to date someone very wealthy. I think it's all about the social circles you mix in.
This was discussed on another thread recently and I wanted to get some opinions on what some of you consider being out of one's league when matching up with a potential partner.
For me, I've never really subscribed to the idea that someone is too good looking for someone else to be with. When I think of leagues I'm thinking more in terms of overall compatibility, social circles, and in some cases education and status. An example of what I'm talking about would be:
A nerdy yet intelligent Bill Gates type (without the billions of dollars) pursuing someone like Kim Kardashian or Snooky from Jersey Shore. I would say he's casting his net way out of his league because of the glaring differences in social circles, lifestyle, and lack of common interests. He could be an attractive guy with six pack abs, but if his idea of a good time is attending Star Trek conventions and discussing quantum physics, he's not a good match for these ladies and they are out of his league or they may be out of his league if they were pursuing him.
So when you think of someone being out of their league while in pursuit of companionship, what comes to mind?
LOL If Bill Gates is looking at someone like Snookie, I say he's lowering his standards not going out of his league LOL HAHAHAHA
Ohhh but, I digress..
Ahem... I had this girl friend of mine who was single, young'ish, smoker, not a gym rat by any stretch, overweight, etc... loved to be the party girl. She would always, always try to (and get shot down) date these guys who were divorced, older, into their kids, into their careers, body, etc.. which was great - hey, by all means shoot high but I would always tell her she needs to date within her league meaning - look at guys in a similar social setting as yourself, no kids, single, unmarried, etc.. and you will find a great guy that's perfect for you. Years later, she finally understood what it all meant and did find a guy but it took her a long time to really understand what I was saying.
I think if you work at McDonalds, live with your parents and drive a beater - you are not going to attract a successful person who owns their own home, has a solid retirement plan, money invested and everything else going for them. I'm not knocking the person working at McD's but realistically, that career individual is out of that persons league.
This was discussed on another thread recently and I wanted to get some opinions on what some of you consider being out of one's league when matching up with a potential partner.
For me, I've never really subscribed to the idea that someone is too good looking for someone else to be with. When I think of leagues I'm thinking more in terms of overall compatibility, social circles, and in some cases education and status. An example of what I'm talking about would be:
A nerdy yet intelligent Bill Gates type (without the billions of dollars) pursuing someone like Kim Kardashian or Snooky from Jersey Shore. I would say he's casting his net way out of his league because of the glaring differences in social circles, lifestyle, and lack of common interests. He could be an attractive guy with six pack abs, but if his idea of a good time is attending Star Trek conventions and discussing quantum physics, he's not a good match for these ladies and they are out of his league or they may be out of his league if they were pursuing him.
So when you think of someone being out of their league while in pursuit of companionship, what comes to mind?
I hate that term! If two people like each other and think they are a good match for each other, so be it. If you're not involved in the relationship, you don't have to understand it. Let them find their own way with it.
This was discussed on another thread recently and I wanted to get some opinions on what some of you consider being out of one's league when matching up with a potential partner.
For me, I've never really subscribed to the idea that someone is too good looking for someone else to be with. When I think of leagues I'm thinking more in terms of overall compatibility, social circles, and in some cases education and status. An example of what I'm talking about would be:
A nerdy yet intelligent Bill Gates type (without the billions of dollars) pursuing someone like Kim Kardashian or Snooky from Jersey Shore. I would say he's casting his net way out of his league because of the glaring differences in social circles, lifestyle, and lack of common interests. He could be an attractive guy with six pack abs, but if his idea of a good time is attending Star Trek conventions and discussing quantum physics, he's not a good match for these ladies and they are out of his league or they may be out of his league if they were pursuing him.
So when you think of someone being out of their league while in pursuit of companionship, what comes to mind?
See, now THAT I can get behind; it makes perfect sense. They'd have virtually nothing -- if ANYTHING -- in common.
A baseball player trying to get a game going with a soccer player: It's not a question of one league being better, it's just different.
I hate that term! If two people like each other and think they are a good match for each other, so be it. If you're not involved in the relationship, you don't have to understand it. Let them find their own way with it.
Hating the term doesn't mean it's not a reality. Two people may be a good match for one another but will never know it, because so many of them think in terms of leagues.
I don't think that only the beautiful people should date other beautiful people, and the homely date among themselves. It may shake out that way more often than not, but I've never looked at a woman and felt she was beneath me or above me in some way simply because I thought I could do better by scoring someone hotter or she was too hot to approach. Don't get me wrong, I still have preferences and I dated according to my taste in women, but I've dated women who were all shapes and sizes...some were very beautiful and some were closer to average or ordinary.
But a lot of people aren't going to go through the trouble of busting their ass making sacrifices while getting an education, establishing a career, and making smart choices and then take on a partner who doesn't share those values or priorities and are happy to clean toilets part time at the mall while living with their mom.
What comes to mind: Looks, income and behavior(relationship, family, drugs, etc).
Looks is pretty subjective, but everyone has pretty set standards that are easily definable when it comes to income and behavior. I do think looks are a factor though. But that can be improved on in the sense of just taking care of what you have. Not to do that falls under undesirable behaviors. "Good looks" are a sign of good health and education on how to take care of yourself. That matters in the long run.
Income - there is a class system in place, like it or not.
Behavior - Well I would not hook a virgin up with the town skank....Or put a strait edge person with a drink happy metal head. Family goals - making one or not, family interactions. Conversational personality - if the person you talk to is constantly talking about stuff you don't understand or care to. Thats just not going to work if you want interaction.
I'm old, homely as a mud fence, not wealthy and I'm often described as a dullard so I guess that 99.9% of women are out of my league. I can still attract the occasional bag lady, meth addict or career criminal female who's looking for a place to hide out from the police but other than that pickins are slim.
It is possible for a couple who are in very different categories in terms of attractiveness, income or social status to find each other but that's a rare exception. It's been my experience that men and women tend to gravitate towards those individuals who are similar to themselves. I think it's unrealistic for anyone to believe that love can conquer all and that people will just ignore the factors that I mentioned. You just don't see a guy who looks like George Clooney getting hooked up with a woman who looks like Roseanne Barr or a woman who's a well respected medical doctor marrying the garbage man. Whether we like it or not people are judged by certain standards when it comes to relationships and all of us categorize others and give them a certain status even if we don't admit it.
But is there a difference between following your preferences and being honest with yourself, and classifying people by leagues? I don't like the term league when I hear someone using it to say "You're crazy for chasing after her, she's gorgeous, way out of your league". That sort of thing I don't agree with. Now if I'm working the swing shift mopping floors at Target (not criticizing unskilled labor here, just making a point), and I set my sights on some Ivy League debutante living off of her trust fund while attending parties in Beverly Hills and whisking around in a Ferrari, I'm probably pursuing someone out of my league.
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