Why are there so many single women over 30?? (dating, lesbians, marriage)

[chica_bella813]

Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a cat WHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.

They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

[andreaspercheron]

Some women are just more self confident these days and realize that independence is a good thing, they realize that they don't have to fit into society's mold of getting married, having kids and buying a house while driving a mini van.
They are more educated these days, more independent, HAPPY in their independence and view men as something that's nice to have around but NOT a necessity.
Then you have the rest of the women in the same age group who would rather be dependent, drive the mini van and pop out 4 kids.

It is 2010, some women are just moving forward and being more forward thinking. I never did fit into the mold that I spoke of. I've always been very indepedent.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a cat WHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.

They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

If they're suicidal and depressed, then it's a problem but people who don't get married deep down don't really want to be married or they would have.

They may have long lists of what they require in mate and won't settle for anything less but that means they don't really want to get married too much. They may be unwilling to give up traveling, or shopping or the way they have their lives. The longer they went without marrying, the more set in their ways they became and so marriage becomes less and less likely.

They can find a man, they just don't want any of the ones they find.

[Back to NE]

Lots of reasons in our modern world:

- Put too much emphasis on career
- Too choosy (our media shows them the Clooneys, Pitts, John Stewarts, etal., and they aspire for that ideal only)
- American men losing quality (very immature, can't hold jobs, too horny/uncommitted, too self-centered)
- Low self esteem (our media and culture can make even fine, gorgeuos people insecure, like we always fall short)
- Weird dating scene (do we date? do we throw partys anymore? so much distrust)
- Single life with house and cat not bad (sure beats being stuck in bad relationship)
- Got kids? (too soon?, many guys don't want all that responsibility at the get-go, not to mention the expense)
- Too many options (can't decide what/who to go for, maybe the next guy will be better).

And surely many more, I'm a guy and most of these can be flipped around to apply to me too.

[militarymom]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a cat WHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.

They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

I think as a whole people are just getting married later in life. Most people go from undergrad to grad school immediately (that I know of anyways) and so by the time they're done they are about 28 or so....My cousin lives in florida and fits your stereotype perfectly. She's cute, she is getting her PhD, she lives with her cat LOL...but she dates around and it never goes anywhere. My take is she is kind of arrogant. She definitely talks like she is better than others due to her seeking her PhD. To me it's a turn off so I imagine to a guy it feels the same. I know she isn't into commitment (so she says) but yet it seems like she does want a long term relationship. Probably some low self esteem happening there too.

In the end who cares really. It's her life, her goals are for her and she has set her priorities and good for her.

[2mares]

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

OMG!

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

Women are smarter these days
Maybe they are lesbians
Perhaps the one that is depressed isnt in a relationship due to her depression and suicidal tendencies. Most people dont want to date someone that is emotionally unbalanced.

I dont get why it is understandable that unattractive women are single, or even older men are single, but not attractive women.
I see loads of married ugly women, fat women and handicapped women as well as unmarried men over 30.

I think you should not try to intervene and just let them enjoy their independence.

[punky86]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a cat WHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.

They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

There's so much wrong with this post I dont know where to begin...I guess us women who dont want children or a husband are bound to live a life of cats and meds?

[Capt. Dan]

I too know a few women in this situation. All of them had ample dating opportunities when they were younger. But each time a man wanted to further the relationship she "didnt have the time" because she was concentrating on her career. Success comes with a price. Maybe lonliness is the price they must pay for thier past decisions. Kind of unfair. But life isnt always fair.

[paganmama80]

Originally Posted by chica_bella813

Please help me understand this phenomena--Why are there so many single women over 30?? I know many who are gorgeous, talented, graduated from Universities--some undergrad and others grad school and they find themselves living alone in the home they own with a cat WHY?? They can't find a man to save their life...I don't get it. This is in Florida.

They are not high maintenance, very sweet and down to earth, as I mentioned before gorgeous...So what gives????

I know one who is 40 and NEVER has been married or have any kids. The others I mentioned above have not had children either. It is very sad to me. Most of them haven't dated in years..I'm talk 10 plus years!!!! I know they are very grounded in God and they say that is what keeps them sane---their faith. I commend that but I find that sad.

Most of them have had their heartbroken--so I don't know if they may have something to do with it. I have tried to intervene but it didn't work out. One of them who is 38 is sooooooooooo depressed she sounds suicidal at times. She will be on meds soon, but I can understand that pain of lonliness. I mean if they were unattractive perhaps I could understand then, but that isn't the case. And they are different ethnicities, black(very attractive), white(attractive), and latina(very very very attractive). For the most part, most are handling it well, but I just don't get it...any thoughts...

Ever consider the fact that these poor lonely single women you know might want to be single? And who says dating means they don't have some fun .

[dave nz]

I think alot of them are too picky, expect too much and don't put up with as much as historically. I was talking to a role model couple if you like....been married 50 years, my first sentence is what I got from the talk, in terms of why so many relationships don't last. There are also many more detailed reasons which I cannot be bothered going into.