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She always says that everything she has is mine and my brother's. Coz she loves us. She must be dumb she still feels the connection of that umbilical cord
Thanks for showing this gem up for me, Stan
I agree...the asian sense of family isn't about 'yours' and 'mine.' It's about how it's all 'ours' as a family. If I asked for cash today, it would be handed to me no questions asked. And vice versa.
Of course, there would be no question about 'helping out' around the house. Everyone pulls their weight, everyone chips in, everyone helps and is helped in turn. That's just the way.
I think the negative stereotypes started when 'American' children starting doing it...but were mostly just eating pizza pockets in the basement and not working or showering. Well, then, duh...negative stereotype. But a group of people who enjoy their families and see an opportunity to make a good financial decision...that's a different story.
I suppose this trend may be common in the NE part of the country, especially in NYC, but where I live, most 20 somethings are still marrying, living on their own and having children and working. I even know a couple of teenagers that are currently doing the same things I mentioned. One of my classmates at school is 19, just married about a year ago, has a baby son, is currently making the honor roll and is taking college classes as well and working! I have to give her a big round of applause for accomplishing so much at only 19. If she can do it, then these 20 somethings you guys mentioned that have graduated from college, have a career and are still living with their parents are apparently immature and reluctant to grow up and be an adult.
Buying a house doesn't make you an adult.
Having the discipline to forego your immediate desires in order to see the long term pay-out...now that is what makes you an adult.
Most Asians, Hispanics, and other minorities I know still live at home. It's part of the culture. Those that moved out either had a family of their own, got a job out of town, went to school, or just wanted freedom. Nowadays, most have gone back home because of unemployment.
It's common in my culture. Now if the parents wanted them out, then they were out.
Hrm interesting, and true from my own observations. Privacy and personal space may also be less of an issue than saving $$$ and being frugal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
My mother is dumb, eh? She always says that everything she has is mine and my brother's. Coz she loves us. She must be dumb she still feels the connection of that umbilical cord
My parents say that too... but I don't believe them... shady . Actually they mean what they say but I would never take from them.
I think occasionally you have the kids who have never moved out, never gotten a job, and relied on their parents their whole life. But they have also never gone to college either, unlike the example in OP's post. So I'm not talking about that population. That population has always existed since the beginning of the time space continuum. But the newest trend I think is to have college-educated, good income kids come back to the nest. If everyone is cool with it, what's to complain about?
As several have said on here, if it benefits everybody involved it is a good thing. For instance, if my parents needed my help with rent or a mortgage or to pay bills, I would move in with them or help them monetarily. We have a great relationship, and I enjoy being with them.
My students are between 22-27, with a few exceptions. ALL of them live with their parents. I find it contemptible unless they're paying room and board. Few do.
I was born in 1963 and I guarantee you, no 27 year old lived at home back in the day. Didn't happen unless they were handicapped in some way.
My students are between 22-27, with a few exceptions. ALL of them live with their parents. I find it contemptible unless they're paying room and board. Few do.
I was born in 1963 and I guarantee you, no 27 year old lived at home back in the day. Didn't happen unless they were handicapped in some way.
Hahaha, my great uncle was born January 1 1900 at 12:30 A.M. He didn't get married until 40 and lived with my great grandparents on their farm. My dad and my uncles had really good Christmas's because of him!
I agree...the asian sense of family isn't about 'yours' and 'mine.' It's about how it's all 'ours' as a family. If I asked for cash today, it would be handed to me no questions asked. And vice versa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu
My parents say that too... but I don't believe them... shady . Actually they mean what they say but I would never take from them.
The feeling is mutual. They won't hesitate to offer help "for free", and the kids don't take them for granted. It's somehow written in their upbringing. I guess seeing a Dad man up and putting the entire college tuition fee out of his pocket generates immense respect and a sense of responsibility to grow the tree of the seed he plants.
My pops started his school fund for both of us when we were still in diapers. And we went to one of the costliest engineering schools, given that engineering costs a fortune in itself. And both of us walked out with zero student debt. Imagine what that offers for a kid who walks out of college with zero burden on the shoulders.
And despite this, should the job market be bad, these parents will do everything they can to keep you afloat. Luckily both of us got snagged by campus interviewers back in the day, when we were in the penultimate semesters.
And they do all this not becoz they are "dumb", becoz they felt it was their responsibility to do so.
And with both of us out of the country, my mother is laboriously educating the kids of my Dad's brothers. She has taken it upon herself coz she feels it's a good deed. Besides she can afford to educate them. And my uncles are not like my father, when it comes to diligently guiding their children into good careers.
My students are between 22-27, with a few exceptions. ALL of them live with their parents. I find it contemptible unless they're paying room and board. Few do.
I was born in 1963 and I guarantee you, no 27 year old lived at home back in the day. Didn't happen unless they were handicapped in some way.
But they are still students! Don't you think it is wiser to let them learn without interruption? They can pay their parents back later. Sure, they can get a job and pay now, but chances are they will be too tired to learn optimally and maybe get a bad grade. Maybe they won't get into their dream grad school as a result.
My husband's parents made him work and pay his own way through college. I got a scholarship (since I didn't to use my parent's money) but I didn't work to any great extent, maybe 5-10 hrs /week. My grades were so much better. I ended up going towards a path where I'd get 3-5x his salary, easy. He's on a good 6 figure salary path too, but sometimes I wonder if he might have missed out on a greater opportunity if he had only been allowed to do his college work in peace, rather than have to put another 20-30 hrs of work on top of it? We would never know the answer. But if I had kids I know I'd help them out if they are still in school. School/grades are critical. Timing is critical. It affects the rest of your future.
My students are affluent doctoral students. There is no excuse they are living at home without paying room and board. Most were bought brand new Benz's or BMW's on their 16th birthday and are merely delaying adulthood by writing their dissertations. The job market for doctorates in history is nil and they know it. Most have never held a job. Everyone of my generation had part time jobs at McDonalds when they were 16.
"Maybe they won't get into their dream grad school as a result."
They are in grad school already, a prestigious one at that.
Delaying adulthood is their mantra. Sorry, I don't have sympathy.
Goody, time for a back in the good old days story. Back when I was young, people were considered adults at the age of 16 some even married and started families. By 18 you were expected to be living on your own unless your parents were upper crust and sent you off to higher education. Some would attend College by working and others might get scholarships though most expected to do a hitch in the Service to get the GI bill to help pay for it. However there was work for people back then without even needing a High School Diploma. Factory work, mining, commercial fishing, logging and even agriculture employed huge amounts. Most companies would train the brighter ones into the more demanding jobs such as welders, electricians, engineers, draftsman and even computer workers (punch card operators).
However this started to change as the US moved more towards a service based economy. It was about the time I got out of High School that you started to see jobs requiring a High School Diploma. BTW my parents gave me a set of luggage as my High School graduation present, I got the hint. Of course I had had a job since I was 13 and made good money by that time $3.60/hr (many of my fellow students were only getting $2.65/hr minimum wage at a restaurant). So it seemed reasonable. Times have kept changing.
Now in the economy of today (post industrial perhaps post service) where you need at minimum a College degree, preferably a Master, to get employment at Mickey D's, I do not know how most of the young people get by. I will say one thing I do notice more than the other stuff is somehow people do not consider a person an adult anymore until sometime late into their 20's. Not sure that is a good idea.
Any way the point is, "Get off my lawn you lousy kids"
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. Actually they mean what they say but I would never take from them.
