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The mother is irresponsible and is doing a great disservice to her two children by allowing the other father(s) to be "out of the picture". Her situation wouldn't be so limited if the other father(s) were held accountable. That, in turn, would lighten the load on the OP's shoulders to something more manageable should she decide to have his child.
Why she is not doing right by her children? She's proven herself to not be a good mother and is why I think adoption is the best solution for everyone.
May I ask if you believe in God? And if you do then I would ask you this... When it's time for your judgement day ~ we all are to be held accountable for every single action ~ what do you want to hear God say to you about your decision /action for this circumstance? A human being becomes a person upon the instant of conception. God does not make mistakes...although we do...He doesn't!! And if you didn't want to have children you should have obstained or used birth control instead of letting your "extremity" control your "real brain".
Oh, and in reply to all the people who talk crap bout birthcontrol, accidents happen! I've known people who got pregnant on birthcontrol pills AND condoms. Comdoms rip and sometimes leak, birthcontrol pills sometimes fail. And if someone did everything they should to protect themselves, why sould they have to listen to ur crap? how dare you judge someone!? U don't know their situation!
Edumacate urslf plz!
Yes, birth control fails...it is common knowledge.
If your using the pill/shot/implant..etc and your condom breaks, there is also Plan B, which works just like the birth control pill.
Abortion is NOT birth control. If you aren't ready to be a parent, don't have sex! It's really not rocket science.
I know sex is wonderful but show some self control for goodness sakes! I think it's pretty irresponsible to be so careless with your life, that of your partner and of a potential child because you want to have sex. There is an entire industry out there created for pleasure....get yourself a toy, only have oral sex...there are lots of other options that won't produce a child. Save the actual act of intercourse for when you are ready to commit yourself to a child.
ETA:
We DO know his situation, he was able to sum that up into 7 simple bullet points. If this was such an important, life-changing event for him why is he on a public forum asking the opinion of a bunch of strangers based on those 7 statements??? He has spoken to his girlfriend and she has already said she would like to have the baby. Maybe he needs to be pleading his case with her, not random folks on CD.
If having the baby will make her happy, you say you love her, then you have to man up and go forward with the pregnancy with her. This is part of what relationships are about, putting one or two of your plans aside for the good of another. You're probably going to have set a boundary with your family about your girlfriend, because she will be having your child. You're going to have to prepare yourself to to be a loving and effective bio father and even stepfather. You don't have to drop out of school. There are degree completion programs. It's still college, you're still working on your bachelor's degree here. You have to adjust your life for this development--on the practical level and the emotional level (as in your family's disapproval of her). You knew they disapproved of her but you still to set in motion an aspect of your relationship that allowed you to make a baby with her, so IMHO, you have chosen to put having a life and a family with this girl ahead of what your family thinks. It's pretty much the way men (as opposed to wimps) go about such things. All of you get some family counseling, both of you get jobs and some good dependable daycare for the existing two children, keep loving and committing to each other. Find a degree completion program so your educational goals won't have to suffer. We're not perfect, life isn't perfect but we can adjust our life for the things in it that are REALLY important. Everything should work out fine. Don't try to do all this with out lots of support, even if isn't from your family. Blessings to you all.
There is no "good time" to have kids. Once you get into med school in a few years, there will be even less time... for the next 7-10 years or so. And once you start work, things do not get better. So don't kid yourself that there is a "good time" or that you will have enough time to be a good father later, versus now. No matter where you are in life you just have to put in the time and effort. It will probably only get harder later on.
I think the key question here is not when you want a child... but IF you want a child with her at all?
thanks to those of you that understand. That's why i'm here cause I want some advice on what is right for everybody.
Believe me, everybody here "understands". And while this is a decision only you and your girlfriend can make, I do hope you'll think seriously about how you got where you are and start making choices like an adult from here on out - there are kids counting on you to quit being one yourself.
ok, I need some help on this my g/f of long distance 5+ years. We found out that she's pregnant and was wondering what i should do in this matter.
Situation
1. We love each other very much
2. She has 2 other kids from a past marriage now the age of 6 and 9.
I have no kids and 26y/o
3. My family hates her and doesn't want me to be with her cause of the kids. They think she's ugly, I give her a 7-8 on a 1-10 scale but with everything else she's a 10
I lose my family (won't be able to speak to them because i'm losing Face)
4. I have no job, and just got my AA bout to go off to university (currently living with parents)
5. She has no job, going to school living with parents.
6. She has been waiting for me to move in with her and start our lives together.
7. Abortion option is there, no adopting, or have the baby.
I'm thinking about abortion cause i'll be a father of 3 off the bat with no job and a AA which doesn't mean anything these day. I can't provide for them. I know i can get a job but i'm trying to get to medical/ pharmacy school which will not give me time for it.
However having the baby would make her happy.
please help what do you guys think?
Look, I know you're mixed up and crazy about this, but c'mon. Think man, think.
You have responsibility here. You and the woman you knocked up. The two of you need to start thinking like adults and do what's right. If it means working a job, then find a job. It's going to be tough, but you can get through it. Think of it as a test of character.
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