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Hehehe I think he’s very sexy. LOOKS WISE. Personality and indiscretions aside.
Thank you! Finally someone else who has answered the question I asked. I don’t want to know about human monogamy or why people cheat.
Why do men (and, I stand corrected, women too) think they are doing you a favour by keeping it a secret?
What you have said here Veyron has been my thought all along. “Wait… it’s about my feelings?? That doesn’t make sense”.
No its not. Its about the cheater's wants and desires.
I'll put it like this.
Most cheaters have a system set up.
They have their MAIN girl/boy.
They have their boo.
They have their Runner up.
The Main girl/boy...<<<ME AND YoU.. are there to provide love, security and comfort to the cheater. We will always be the thing they come home too. We hug, kiss, provide company and emotional comfort to the serial cheater. When it comes to sex if the serial cheater can't find anyone else they have an endless supply coming from us. "THE MAIN"
The boo is the other candidate. They sexually satisfy the cheater better then you can. You can't compete because the serial cheater purpose sly goes out and finds someone who is better in the bed then you are. That is the boo's job. Alot of times there are personal or financial reasons why the boo is not the main.
Alot of serial cheaters have multiple Boos.
The runner up could be a close friend of yours. They could also be the boo in some cases. The job of the runner up is too replace you either 1 when you leave or 2 if the runner up seems like a "potentially" better partner.
Thats why its called "a game."
The reason why I'm breaking down the serial cheater to you is because these days; sadly, it's the most common type of cheater.
I see it everyday. The concept of monogamy is pretty much dead. In fact there are so many serial cheaters out there you actually have to EXPLORE AND CONQUEST to find a loyal mate who's not about games or selfishness but true love.
To me there is a world of difference. I've said this many times before: I'd be way more concerned with technically non-consummated deep and lasting emotional affair than with a one-time physical act.
IMO
I use to think the same thing but human nature plays a big part when it comes to a thing like cheating. People love to get over other people period.
What I have seen on a ton of occasions is the virgin cheaters turn into serial cheaters.
I have a ton of experience and wisdom on the matter because I know alot of people who cheat on their significant other. Women and man.
What I've noticed especially with the man is that they assume their cheating partner did it only once because they caught them once or the cheater confesses ed to one incident. A lot of times a cheater confesses to one incident and if forgiven for that one incident they think they are redeemed for all thee other "accidents."
3 things happen after you forgive someone for cheating on you. 1 Is that they stop cheating. From my personal experience I have never seen that happen.
2. The cheater becomes more sneakier about cheating. This is the most common one I have seen. 3. The cheater becomes blatant about it. The cheater views the partner as weak for forgiving them and become comfortable that the partner is on a puppet string. They become less careful. This is pretty common but not as common as 2 from my experience.
Numver 2 is happening to a friend of mine and he's in denial about it.
Number 3 happen to my best friend. She cheated on him with his best friend and I told him to stop talking to her. He didn't. There not together but she's sleeping with him as she pleases while she has 2 other boyfriends and talks down to my friend.
I would be careful about forgiving a cheater. A cheater is a snake and forgiving and remaining with one is playing a dangerous game with your heart.
How do you happen to KNOW the people in your family have been monogamous? People who want to preserve long relationships might not go blabbing to everyone in the family about their indiscretions.
Do you know how many "secrets" old-timers have? Abortions, babies given up for adoption, aunts raising the sister's kids, etc. Don't think people are as "snow white" as they might portray themselves to be.
I would be careful about forgiving a cheater. A cheater is a snake and forgiving and remaining with one is playing a dangerous game with your heart.
Read the story of the scorpion and the frog.
Oh, make no mistake, I'm not a particularly forgiving person! It's just that infidelity is not something that consumes me, which may be the reason I haven't had problems with it. I may start believing people who think you get what you're afraid of. What I was the most fearful of in life in the last few years, I got...
As I said, I don't consider a one-time indiscretion an affair. Chances are I won't find out about it, should it happen. I don't do dumb men. I don't belive it has happened, ever, but I won't bet my bottom dollar on it, either.
Again, chances are I won't, but if I do, no, I will not say anything.
I think what you don't understand is the fact that marriages, particularly long-term ones with children, are a lot more involved "affairs" and breaking them up over a one-time exchange of bodily fluids is plain stupid.
Your forgetting the deception part.
Your partner is deceiving you.
They are betraying you.
I forgave my wife and she ended up calling me having sex with another man on the phone and leaving me once she found someone who had more money.
If they will betray you on a personal level they will betray you when it comes to everything else.
I deal with cheaters all the time. Most aren't nice people. They cheat in their relationships they cheat at everything they do in life.
Your forgetting the deception part.
Your partner is deceiving you.
They are betraying you.
I forgave my wife and she ended up calling me having sex with another man on the phone and leaving me once she found someone who had more money.
If they will betray you on a personal level they will betray you when it comes to everything else.
I deal with cheaters all the time. Most aren't nice people. They cheat in their relationships they cheat at everything they do in life.
Right on. I do have one chronic cheater in my family and her behavior corroborates everything you say. I've tried to reason with her but she always says that a) anyone who is cheated on or easily manipulated deserved it because they were too stupid, b) and even more stupid when they forgive her. You can tell how sorry she is... :P
And the reason she won't tell people about her cheating is not because she feels bad, she just wants to have her cake and eat it too... and she laughs sheepishly when the guys find out, like "oops haha I got caught" instead of being truly contrite. As if it is some sort of game to her.
And yes, she cheats on almost everything else in life as well...
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