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Please. Being an "adult" would require to exercise intelligence beyond personal experience. Don't act like there are not those slooty exs out there that abuse the ease of FB contact. If you don't question a person's personal relationships that you are closest too...thats just not very smart. Its a little disneylanddenial to assume ex's are platonic and everything is innocent.
How many of you trusting folks see what goes on in your s.o.'s acct?
I have alot of my exes on fb, cuz hey, we're still cool people.
I'm also NOT married, or engaged, so I have every right to keep my old boys on the list. There is a great deal of respect, & I am rarely in the mood for making enemies out of people I have no qualms with.
There are a couple exes who certainly did not make the cut, but that's because they were previously way too emotionally dramatic about what went down, and just don't know how to act right...
It's all about respect. FB or not, if you have a partner that is sensitive to being exposed to a parade of ex-whatevers, out of respect for that person don't do it. Why would you want to do something that you know makes your partner feel bad ? Is that ex-relationship that important ? What value does it really bring anyway ? If they are an ex, there was a reason why. Why all of the sudden online you can now be friends ? The debate could go on and on. However, it's about respect for your partner and truly putting them first. It's amazing how a social network can create such anti-social issues.
^^ This.
I have no feelings of attraction for any of my exes whatsoever, but I wouldn't mind keeping in touch with some of them as friends. However, that's not nearly as important to me as peace in the family. If having them as fb friends would cause my wife even the tiniest amount of distress, it wouldn't be worth it. Consequently, they're exes in every regard, and that means out of my life completely. The door is closed and locked.
It's a shame in some ways, but it's for the best for me, for them and for my wife. The exception is the mother of my children. Like it or not, we are bound by our children and grandkids. But we're not fb friends and never will be. There's just no need for it.
I have no feelings of attraction for any of my exes whatsoever, but I wouldn't mind keeping in touch with some of them as friends. However, that's not nearly as important to me as peace in the family. If having them as fb friends would cause my wife even the tiniest amount of distress, it wouldn't be worth it. Consequently, they're exes in every regard, and that means out of my life completely. The door is closed and locked.
It's a shame in some ways, but it's for the best for me, for them and for my wife. The exception is the mother of my children. Like it or not, we are bound by our children and grandkids. But we're not fb friends and never will be. There's just no need for it.
You are a good man. Because actually..i feel that way too. If it causes a partner to be a bit uneasy, I will remove exes. My partner would matter waayy more than my exes. If he didnt want me to have ANY male on Facebook..that would be different. But I would remove exes for a partner if he asked.
Being a bit uncomfortable about exes..I can understand. Why? Because most of my exes WOULD try to 'hit' it if they could. That's a man for you. I dont cheat..so that is the main thing a partner should be secure in. That's true.....
But like someone alluded to..I would trust a WOMAN with her exes more than a MAN with his. Sorry..i may get flamed. But there is a reason most women could go out to the corner store in curlers and PJ's and STILL find men wanting to bed them. You doubt me? You get a man and a woman who are both equal in looks( to be fair). Send them both out to a club, and have them both try to see who would be willing to go home with them for a one night stand. The woman will win hands down. Each and every time. Without fail. If the guy finds one potential, you can bet the woman has found five. LOL It just is what it is.
So, sometimes its kinda hard for some women not to keep an eye on things when it comes to other women in her man's life. Espescially if he has already been there and done that. LOL He figures its easy to slide in once in a while. Men, if you dont like that, then stop being so easily swayed by t#ts and a$$. If you are SINGLE..fine. Do as you wish. If you arent..chill out. Keep it in ur pants.
Please. Being an "adult" would require to exercise intelligence beyond personal experience. Don't act like there are not those slooty exs out there that abuse the ease of FB contact. If you don't question a person's personal relationships that you are closest too...thats just not very smart. Its a little disneylanddenial to assume ex's are platonic and everything is innocent.
How many of you trusting folks see what goes on in your s.o.'s acct?
There will always be those ex's or not ex's but perhaps long time friends of the opposite sex that have ulterior motives...SO BEING AN ADULT means accepting that anything could happen at any given time Whether of FB, in the work place, a gym ect you get the jist....
IMHO..I would not worry about the ex's rather I would focus on my SO reaction to it... I got divorced due to infidelity however I do not judge every man based on one experience...that would be self defeating behavior..There is NO need to worry about having access to your SO account...trust should be there until something arises that sais otherwise...
As I stated I have several ex's from my past that are just that "My Past" We have all grown up and have gone in our different directions, some are married and happily and others are dating or single but I have boundaries and they know it... I was dating a guy for awhile, it did not work due to distance however we chose to remain friends (We were friends in HS) SO why cannot we be now? His ex wife was a friend of his and he was up front with me and he stated he would always love her as a friend but nothing more and they had a great relationship..I chose to trust him and guess what?He is still not with her and he is with someone else..and he respects her and still can send me messages stating "Whats up D been kind of quiet lately, you okay" A FRIENDSHIP...
I respect his relationship and value his friendship.. So yes being an adult means being able to maintain friendships with no innapropriate behavior as well as hidden motives...
But like someone alluded to..I would trust a WOMAN with her exes more than a MAN with his. Sorry..i may get flamed. But there is a reason most women could go out to the corner store in curlers and PJ's and STILL find men wanting to bed them. You doubt me? You get a man and a woman who are both equal in looks( to be fair). Send them both out to a club, and have them both try to see who would be willing to go home with them for a one night stand. The woman will win hands down. Each and every time. Without fail. If the guy finds one potential, you can bet the woman has found five. LOL It just is what it is.
So, sometimes its kinda hard for some women not to keep an eye on things when it comes to other women in her man's life. Espescially if he has already been there and done that. LOL He figures its easy to slide in once in a while. Men, if you dont like that, then stop being so easily swayed by t#ts and a$$. If you are SINGLE..fine. Do as you wish. If you arent..chill out. Keep it in ur pants.
I know this is an older post, but I'm not sure what this means. You're laying it down, eh? I guess I missed the memo that explains how that makes a difference to anyone but you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srnyong
I agree with the OP (and others that support the position of the OP) that we should not be friends with our ex's on Facebook, or any other social networking sites for that matter. I am not friend with any of my ex's....that's the magic of the breakup.
We? Who is this we? I can see it being the case for an individual, but I'm not sure where the plural comes in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia
Adult?
Please. Being an "adult" would require to exercise intelligence beyond personal experience. Don't act like there are not those slooty exs out there that abuse the ease of FB contact. If you don't question a person's personal relationships that you are closest too...thats just not very smart. Its a little disneylanddenial to assume ex's are platonic and everything is innocent.
How many of you trusting folks see what goes on in your s.o.'s acct?
Whether ex's abuse FB doesn't matter as much as my trust in my husband. I'm not really worried about it. If he were another man I might worry. Any how, I'm friends with one of his long time ex's. And I dated one of my closest friends way back in the day. We weren't relationship material, but we were best friend material. He ended up being the man of honor at my wedding. I'm actually going out tonight to celebrate his b-day with his current gf and a bunch of friends. My dh will meet up with us after work.
I also know the two of them are making plans for my upcoming b-day next month!
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I dont cheat..so that is the main thing a partner should be secure in. That's true.....
