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Get rid of him honey!!! Or be prepared to spend the rest of your married life sharing your husband. God forbid he comes home one time and gives you an STD! Then what?!
I discovered that shopping does not work. Neither do the gifts he has bought... nothing cheap either by the way..
Right now, we are looking to travel to Europe, be there for two weeks... I think during that time frame, I will have made my decision.
Been there and done this with my exhubs. Your hubs is fattening you for the kill. He hopes the gifts and trips will change your mind about him. Once it does, he's going to see her again. He has told the mistress let's chill until I get her back on track.
Take your time with this matter. Plenty will tell you to divorce your spouse. At the end of the day. It's your decision. Some couples come back from infidelity. I didn't, but that's me. My hubs affair lasted about 6 months. I believe a short amount of time, because he was caught.
LosinIt: Let me try to sugar coat this as much as I can:
Stop being such a F***ing Id**t, are you bying that bullsh*t that he said? What are you 14?
and stop watching those stupid romantic hollywood movies, WTF do you have to travel to Europe to sort this out? Kick his as$ out the door already.
Sorry for being so harsh, but I'm 100% sure that anybody that truly care for you would said the same thing.
I think OP is trying to justify his behavior, it would be one thing if they kissed once but he has been cheating on you for EIGHT YEARS. How can you not hate him for this?
Even if your husband wants to save your marriage, be ready for this other woman to fight for him, call him, email him, text him, even knock on your door. For eight years she has probably been lied to too by your husband promising her a future w/ him someday. She's not going to want to throw out those eight years w/o a fight. Are you seriously ready for all the dirt to hit the fan? You may hear things you'll never get over. I think I'd be getting myself a good lawyer.
A friend of mine found out her husband was having an affair. Their marriage hadn't been doing good and he turned to someone else to build up his self esteem and feed his ego. When my friend found out, she chose to fight for what was hers. This affair had been going on (off and on) for 5 years. The other woman almost became a stalker w/ phone calls, emails, even pounding the door down. It took two years to get this other woman to leave her husband alone and several nasty emails flying back and forth. My friend saved all of the emails her husband would receive and finally had enough. She forwarded all of the emails to this other woman's husband and that was the end of her. Two years to get rid of the other woman and twice as long for my friend to get over the emotional rollercoaster she was put through. Do you really want that for yourself? Is he worth fighting for, or are you better off w/o him?
Even if your husband wants to save your marriage, be ready for this other woman to fight for him, call him, email him, text him, even knock on your door. For eight years she has probably been lied to too by your husband promising her a future w/ him someday. She's not going to want to throw out those eight years w/o a fight. Are you seriously ready for all the dirt to hit the fan? You may hear things you'll never get over. I think I'd be getting myself a good lawyer.
A friend of mine found out her husband was having an affair. Their marriage hadn't been doing good and he turned to someone else to build up his self esteem and feed his ego. When my friend found out, she chose to fight for what was hers. This affair had been going on (off and on) for 5 years. The other woman almost became a stalker w/ phone calls, emails, even pounding the door down. It took two years to get this other woman to leave her husband alone and several nasty emails flying back and forth. My friend saved all of the emails her husband would receive and finally had enough. She forwarded all of the emails to this other woman's husband and that was the end of her. Two years to get rid of the other woman and twice as long for my friend to get over the emotional rollercoaster she was put through. Do you really want that for yourself? Is he worth fighting for, or are you better off w/o him?
Wow, I can bet that your friend will be doing this over and over again with other women. I believe that once someone cheats, they always do. Not everyone but mostly everyone that cheats continues.
Imagine your best friend or daughter is the one in this situation. What would you tell them to do? Women have a habit of staying in bad relationships. Usually we have invested so much time in the relationship that we don't want to walk away with nothing to show for it. It's kinda you against the other woman in your mind and you want to win the war! But, is HE really worth it???
Unfortunately, he will never change. He's saying exactly what you want to hear. It's called mindf#ck*ing. My brother is a member & has shared inside information with me so that he doesn't have to beat up anyone.
Think back in your past of a painful breakup. How do you feel about it today? A year from now you won't care to look back. It just hurts NOW! Get beyond the now & live in the future.
Imagine your best friend or daughter is the one in this situation. What would you tell them to do? Women have a habit of staying in bad relationships. Usually we have invested so much time in the relationship that we don't want to walk away with nothing to show for it. It's kinda you against the other woman in your mind and you want to win the war! But, is HE really worth it???
Unfortunately, he will never change. He's saying exactly what you want to hear. It's called mindf#ck*ing. My brother is a member & has shared inside information with me so that he doesn't have to beat up anyone.
Think back in your past of a painful breakup. How do you feel about it today? A year from now you won't care to look back. It just hurts NOW! Get beyond the now & live in the future.
I am so lost.. not sure what to do. Am very sad, do not know if I want to even be on this planet anymore.
My husband told me a year ago that he had been having an affair, for the last EIGHT years. He said he knew he was wrong, but, was having a problem stopping the relationship.. which is why he said it continued for so long.
Now, a few months ago, the DAY before our wedding anniversary, I had make a wonderful dinner... filet mignon, baked potatoe, the works... he comes in from work, says that he had just promised a friend that he would sub for them in the band. Quickly showered, dressed to the 9's and went out. Since I had a funny feeling, I waited about a half an hour, then called his friend, who answered the phone, no music tonight he said..
When my husband came home, he brought back leftovers from his dinner... with his ex girlfriend. I told him what I knew, and he said that she begged him to see her that she needed to talk.
I love my husband, and, I know that he loves me... I just do not LIKE him, nor do I want to be with him. I can not trust him, he has proven that. I think I want to leave him, and when I say this, he goes nuts... putting me as the bad guy. He said if I threw him out of the house, that he would sleep on the lawn, because this is where he wants to be.
I have not discussed this with anyone, I do not want anyone that we know to know what has transpired.. I do not have anyone to bounce this off of...
So... any feedback?
I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
your husband may "love you" but he doesn't like you nor does he respect you. the kind of "love" he is capable of giving is a love that thinks it is ok to have an affair for 8 years. to only confess because it was bothering "him" this man is selfish slime. he is a major manipulator, the proof is him trying to make you the bad guy.
I would no way go away to europe with him, throw his butt out. who cares what anyone thinks or knows. he said he would sleep on the lawn, ya right my guess is he would find a place to sleep with his gal pal.
he will always find a way to not take responsibility because he is unable to understand what being a real man is. the man is incapable because he hasn't the brains to know. he is missing brain matter.
start a new life, the adjustment may be hard for awhile but it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself. after that hop a plane and go to europe and have a great time.
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