Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's fine, but please understand that not everyone has the same values that you do. I know how American society views adults who live at home, but in my family, my parents actively encouraged me to live there as long as I could because they felt that being responsible wasn't about running out and getting a place of your own just because you had reached a certain age. They wanted me to stay home and save as much money as I could, and since I'm their only daughter, they were worried about my safety and didn't feel comfortable with me living alone since I'm a single woman. Yes, despite what they told me, I had my own ideas about moving out on my own, but either way, it's just not your place to tell me that I wasn't being a "grown up" just because I wasn't paying a third of the mortgage. I'm grateful that they helped me to get off to a good financial start, but I don't believe that I owe them "back rent" because of the decisions they made.
Part of growing up and becoming a responsible adult IS leaving home. You chose not to. It's not about getting a place of your own at a certain age, it means once you've reached adulthood you leave home and create your own roots. You chose not to do that, which means (to me) that you chose to basically become a long term teenager.
You weren't being a grown up. A mature adult doesn't feel the desire to live at home with their parents until they're almost 30 years old no matter the excuses they make as to why they did.
Don't feel like you owe your parents, but I sincerely hope that if you EVER hit hard times they kick your ass to the curb and tell you "good luck with that". You're an adult, they don't owe you anything anymore. Of course, from all your posts I get the impression that you don't exactly share a healthy relationship with your parents.
That's great that your parents were fine with you living there, but that doesn't mean it's OK or the "grown up" thing to do.
Of course, I wanted to be responsible for myself. To each their own. Living at home with mommy and daddy well into adulthood would not be acceptable to me and I would never let my own child do that.
My sister and her husband live with his parents. My sister is 30. They also own a condo, and 2 single family homes that are rented. My brother in laws parents decided that it would be a good idea for them to build some investments for themselves. His parents live in a 5,000 square foot home. Plenty of space for both the parents and my sis and her hubby. They have been married for five years now. They plan on buying additional properties. Both of them work in good jobs, he is a LA Police officer and she works for Healthnet. His parents allow them to use their money for building their net worth. My brother in law also has $600,000 invested in the market. Could they move out? Sure and they would live a very nice life. Will they? NO because they figure that during the next decade they will do even better.
My sister and her husband live with his parents. My sister is 30. They also own a condo, and 2 single family homes that are rented. My brother in laws parents decided that it would be a good idea for them to build some investments for themselves. His parents live in a 5,000 square foot home. Plenty of space for both the parents and my sis and her hubby. They have been married for five years now. They plan on buying additional properties. Both of them work in good jobs, he is a LA Police officer and she works for Healthnet. His parents allow them to use their money for building their net worth. My brother in law also has $600,000 invested in the market. Could they move out? Sure and they would live a very nice life. Will they? NO because they figure that during the next decade they will do even better.
I find that completely nauseating.
Truly, I do. No desire to become completely independent of your parents is disturbing. It reminds me of people like this:
A mature adult doesn't feel the desire to live at home with their parents until they're almost 30 years old no matter the excuses they make as to why they did.
That's your opinion. It's not a fact.
Quote:
Don't feel like you owe your parents, but I sincerely hope that if you EVER hit hard times they kick your ass to the curb and tell you "good luck with that". You're an adult, they don't owe you anything anymore. Of course, from all your posts I get the impression that you don't exactly share a healthy relationship with your parents.
We actually have a pretty good relationship. Aside from my mom and I having the occasional argument, we don't have any problems. I talk to them daily and see them at least once a week. They'd never kick me to the curb because I'm their only child and they love me. I know they don't owe me anything and I don't ask them for anything. I loan them money when they need it, as I've already said so I'm not understanding why you feel they should kick me to the curb just because I made this thread, but I don't really care. Think what you will. I'm done going back and forth with you.
Why does that bother you so much? My brother in law is from a family that has lots of money. They want the same for their kids. Allowing them to stay in their home means that more money is available to invest in properties and other invetments. Let me add that it is his parents who brought up the idea. Let me remind you that it is a 5,000 square foot home giving everyone plenty of room.
We actually have a pretty good relationship. Aside from my mom and I having the occasional argument, we don't have any problems. I talk to them daily and see them at least once a week. They'd never kick me to the curb because I'm their only child and they love me. I know they don't owe me anything and I don't ask them for anything. I loan them money when they need it, as I've already said so I'm not understanding why you feel they should kick me to the curb just because I made this thread, but I don't really care. Think what you will. I'm done going back and forth with you.
Anytime your mom thinks she's in any sort of financial situation she immediately calls you. She doesn't even talk to your dad (her husband), she comes to you. (Per your own posts.)
Why does that bother you so much? My brother in law is from a family that has lots of money. They want the same for their kids. Allowing them to stay in their home means that more money is available to invest in properties and other invetments. Let me add that it is his parents who brought up the idea. Let me remind you that it is a 5,000 square foot home giving everyone plenty of room.
Because I don't think adults should live at home with their parents unless there are extenuating circumstances (long term illness, serious financial hardship, etc). How are you supposed to create roots of your own if you never leave home?
It's not about space, it's about the desire to be independent.
I wouldn't have to come on a forum and ask a question that involved my family. DO IT. They helped you financially and now it's your turn. You want to blame your mother and it is what it is. Just bite the bullet and do it. If you want, everyone sit down and have a time line like 1 or 2 years of helping and then you're out to have your own place. Also have they thought about renting rooms too? I haven't read the thread so someone else might have given you the same answer as me.
Because I don't think adults should live at home with their parents unless there are extenuating circumstances (long term illness, serious financial hardship, etc). How are you supposed to create roots of your own if you never leave home?
It's not about space, it's about the desire to be independent.
ITA. What they are doing is really immature and there is no pride in it. Life isn't just about accumulating money.
I haven't finished reading yet, but I want to point something out that some of you seem to be overlooking. I know utility rates vary from city to city, and that we could be talking about a $500 mortgage or maybe a $5000 mortgage - who knows?
I just want to say that we shouldn't assume that he lived off of her parents before getting her own apartment. She said that she paid all the utilities. In many places - Atlanta, included - you could easily pay MORE for utilities than you do for mortgage. Obviously, we don't know how much their mortgage is or how much their utilities are. I'm just saying that we shouldn't assume, and I really don't think it's fair to label this lady a moocher. She paid all the utilities, which for a house could easily be $500 or more. Heck, I have an apartment and my utilities are nearly $400/mo. I think that's a responsible amount to pay. Most parents don't ask their kids to pay much more than that in rent anyway!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
