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Some women complain about there being a defecit of decent men out there for the same reason that some men complain about there being a defecit of decent women out there - they are unhappy. Lots of people want to blame their unhappiness on other people.
I've pretty much dated only decent men - and I think most of my friends are decent women. However, if you are only interested in looks or money - you are probably going to be disappointed a lot.
There's no deficit of single women I find attractive. There is a deficit of ways to approach/talk to/get to know all of them on real terms though. I see an attractive chick in passing and I think, "she'd maybe dig me too under the right circumstances...how do I get from "here" to "there" in a natural, non-creepy or desperate seeming way?"
There's no deficit of single women I find attractive. There is a deficit of ways to approach/talk to/get to know all of them on real terms though. I see an attractive chick in passing and I think, "she'd maybe dig me too under the right circumstances...how do I get from "here" to "there" in a natural, non-creepy or desperate seeming way?"
You just go in a funny, devilish, and confident way! You have the looks to pull it off.
I'm guessing some of the good looking ones become annoyed having guys/men constantly hitting on them trying to "hook up." I think some like the attention but I also think some hate being followed and bothered each time they want to go somewhere. Being pestered all the time could possibly change someone to where they become annoyed and come across stuck up.
It's really difficult to say since each person is different. Some are shallow, selfish, enjoy being the center of attention and want a man who is similar. Some want someone who is a jerk and more of a challenge. Some really do want to meet a nice man but contantly meet jerks who only have sex on their mind and have the same corny lines to get in their pants.
Just because I find someone physically attractive doesn't mean our personalities will match so I avoid approaching women I see on the street just because I find them attractive. If there is a connection or we happen to cross paths then that is where I will start a conversation as a feeler to see where that goes.
I always saw it as women don't KNOW what they want until it's too late. Most women will hit a certain age in their 30's and they will just no longer be physically desirable or may develop a negative attitude from all the poor dating decisions they made in the past. Their looks will only deteriorate with time and the window for them to have a child will slowly close. Men can reproduce at an older age than women can.
With men, there are ones that are of high value even in their early to late 20's and they get most of the women. They don't see the benefits of settling down because they can have a new woman each week without much rejection or effort. Men with money also fall into this category.
Then there's men who are decently attractive but get ignored by most women or have been burned by them. They've realized they can find happiness in other aspects of life and choose to focus on improving themselves and being happy without the dependency on a woman. Then they hit 30 and things start to change. Women are all of a sudden very very interested in getting to know them, being introduced to them, and these women are clearly desperate to settle down and get married.
But these men don't WANT to settle down now. They're already settled with their independent life. Because they didn't get married, they saved their money, invested in a nice home, have the sports car or truck or convertible they always wanted, and they take awesome trips all over the world. They have the freedom to do whatever they want, live the life they want to live, without any commitments to tie them down. Women get all family-focused toward the very end of their window of opportunity. The men don't see why they would do this for a woman unless she has EVERYTHING he wants (looks, sex drive, stable income, good personality, good values, ability to get pregnant.) Otherwise, why would he sacrifice the ability to book a flight to vegas with some work buddies for a weekend on a whim? Why would he trade in his sunday mornings on the couch watching football for a woman who will nag him to get up and mow the lawn? Why would he give up emotional stability of being generally happy (given maybe not optimum happiness as having a wife would help achieve that), but instead risk emotional instability, pain, and heartbreak via divorce, as well as potentially lose over half of his assets and income?
That's how I see it. Maybe I'm pessimistic, and I want to be the guy that finds a nice young girl who just appreciates having a guy like me and knows much I want to try and make her happy...... But as much as I want that, it's getting real hard to believe it will ever happen and I'm looking hard to the path of the post 30 man I described above.
Ah, I see. In that case I do think you're being pessimistic. It's a little too soon for you to throw in the towel and announce defeat, in my opinion.
You have all the time in the world to become a grumpy old curmudgeon. What's the rush?
I'm just tired of it. I've made more than a fair effort, not too much, but I've tried to create opportunities for myself to meet women, online dating, asking for numbers....it's all garbage. Even the relationships I had would be throw away because she "wanted a fairy tale love story with love at first sight". I feel like I'm the only one living in reality as I see relationships as starting with chemistry, but then developing special connections of trust and honesty and reliability. I know what it means to love someone, and you never love them 100% of the time, you may only love 85% of the things about them. Maybe when things are wonderful its 95%, maybe you have a rough patch and it's 65%, but you work on that other 15% with understanding and communication.
I'm exhausted Boodhabunny, I just can't sacrifice any more emotional effort toward women. Some people just aren't meant to find it and I'm starting to realize I very well may be one of those people. I'm also realizing I'm okay with being one of those guys who never find it, I just need to let go of the hope that I am because the sooner I do that, the sooner I can devote more effort to other more important things and improving myself even more than I already have.
Men want Kim Kardashian, women want Enrique Iglasias. Personality wise, both want someone who is, "kind, giving, deep, faithful, successful, and interested in the same qualities in life." It's nearly impossible to find a "good man/woman" when someone is looking for all these qualities wrapped into one; that is, unless you start taking away one by one the standards you hold an SO to.
Men may dream but for nearly 90%, reality has a way of quickly intruding.
In contrast, most women (probably 2/3) start out demanding. They have the relationship "tools" working for them and reality can take a long time to raise its ugly head.
Most of the 1/3 who can't be demanding have a lot of other problems too. Men who give up on their dreams are supposed to make these women happy but most are now saying: "Being single is far better. At least there is hope!".
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You have the looks to pull it off.
