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What do you say in the voice mail? I know a few people who have hosed it because they left weird messages.
I just said "hey, it's _____, so and so's friend from sat night, just wanted to say hi and see how the rest of your weekend went. Give me a call later. Bye."
You generalize a little bit, but there's truth to all of this. Men I think can get jaded and resentful of women, who get to enjoy relatively high status positions in society early on in life. (As young and sexually attractive females, they're powerful entities.)
On the other hand, most young males are utterly disposable in the eyes of society, and they're forced to grit their teeth and endure their relatively low status early on in life, which is a character building process to be certain. Ain't nobody kissin' your ass or holding your hand (more likely they're kicking it.). By the time they've hit their 30's and have hopefully started making something of themselves, the rose colored glasses about love and sex have come off right about same time the high polish of female sexuality has started to show signs of tarnishing. Women get a little antsy and uneasy if they haven't yet settled down, and men are the ones to become a little more self-satisfied and flippant towards the rest of society...time being completely on their side relative to women.
It's like politics. It's a high stakes game of chicken to most people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by naturesdreams
Geez... just interesting how perspectives are so different through the eyes of others...
I was considered a "good looking" female growing up. I had to work 3 times harder to get any recognition in what ever I did... I'm blonde and since I had looks.. I was told.. "we need someone who will take this job serious and not worry about doing their nails".. really.. I always took anything I did very seriously. I used to down play my looks and wear reading glasses to interviews and success was always better.
I've raised two children... one male and one female... My son could put very little effort into his work and get recognised ... my daughter had to do extra credit and work hard all the time to get the same attention. Both had great outlooks on life and both the same IQ... my son would get the job that he went for without any prep where my daughter went through many hours of practice and still would get rejected.
I'm not in agreement with the woman's life being so carefree and easy... I guess it depends what you are trying to achieve. I've been in a career that was considered a "mans job" but technology was my passion and I studied constantly. Male counter parts would come to me for answers and advice and when lay offs came, I got laid off not because of senority not because of production, I was very happy and postive all the time or my quality of work which were all at the top of the teams but I was the only woman.. I always wondered where the co-workers went for their answers when I was gone.. hmmm..
I've accepted this because what other choice did I have.. I changed careers because I was tired of the struggle... I'm not a feminist.. really I'm not but for more work and less pay all of my life.. it is hard not to feel a bit beaten down at times...
My 21 year old daughter has discussed with me plenty of times these same observations but she is a strong woman and still is going into environmental engineering and will kick butt because she won't take the "why don't you try a woman's field".. garbage.
Some women play the "Oh I can't do it" routine which men follow like puppy dogs.. busting their tail to help them out... men enable this because they want to help that "damsel in distress" routine. I know I should play the game but you know how I feel about "games"... LOL
Don't generalize that women have it made... we don't anymore then men... some of us don't need someone to take care of us... we are capable of that on our own.. some women just play the "helpless" game better then others... and this may seem that women have it made.. ahhh... the games people play... old song but true words from an old classic...
So basically when you combine these two quotes together this is what you get.Young women are not taken seriously in the working world, young men are
expendable in the dating world.
I just said "hey, it's _____, so and so's friend from sat night, just wanted to say hi and see how the rest of your weekend went. Give me a call later. Bye."
You see, there isn't any specific plan here to warrant necessarily a call back within the next few days, or at all for that matter (in the case of these flaky girls). But even older women prefer plans to vagueness. Also, instead of waiting for her to call, you could've just said you'd try contacting her again and you could've done that using different media this time (say e-mail or text, if this is your preference).
I just said "hey, it's _____, so and so's friend from sat night, just wanted to say hi and see how the rest of your weekend went. Give me a call later. Bye."
This kind of message doesn't really give her a reason to want to call you back. Had you said something like, "I really enjoyed talking to you on Saturday and would like to take you to dinner (or insert other activity) this weekend. Give me a call and we can set something up."
Many women just do not put themselves out there. I have a 50/50 split between male/female friends. If your a single female sitting home alone on a Friday night downing double fudge ice-cream and watching the Lifetime channel, that may be the problem.
I mean go to any gym, any auction, any bar/tavern, any outdoor event, and it is a wienie fest.
On the other side, though men put themselves out there more often, I don't believe many have the actually manhood to make a move
(Bolded portion above) Problem is though, with what little free time single men and women may actually have, outside of their job, staying home and watching TV on a Friday night can be a heckuva lot more restful and less stressful than going out the local bar / tavern / outdoor event. Especially if you're putting in say 60-80 hour work weeks!
Huge numbers of other wise intelligent men and women seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that they have massively unrealistic expectations wrt their dating options. I see it all the time, woman in her early 30's whining there are no quality men even though she rejects virtually every man who approaches her for some petty reason or another without even giving the poor guy enough of a chance to even introduce himself. These ladies seem to want a guy with a flawless body, a M.D., plenty of money, but have so much spare time he is willing to spend weeks perusing her while she plays little games testing his resolve.
Oh good grief. Not another "it's all the feminists' fault" post. This has nothing to do with feminism "brainwashing" women into thinking they should have it all. Maybe women just decided that part on their own, especially as they became more independent, something a lot of men just can't seem to handle. What this comes down to is pretty simple. How badly do you want something and what trade-offs are you willing to make? If you want a partner, but can't find Mr. Perfect, you can either lower your standards or remain single. Finding Mr. Perfect isn't something feminists told women to aim for. But as more and more women achieved career success, they realized they didn't have to settle. In the past, when they needed a man to take care of them, they probably lowered their standards a great deal and maybe even stayed in unhappy marriages because of it. But now, men don't have as much leverage. They can't say "marry me cause I have money even though I'm an a-hole" or "don't walk out that door cause you'll never make it on your own without me." As for the tired "women initiate most of the divorces" line, did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason for that is because most men think divorce laws are rigged against them? If I were married and wanted out, but thought my wife would get most of the money, I might just stay even if I were miserable.
Standards too low = asking for trouble
Standards too high = also asking for trouble
You see, there isn't any specific plan here to warrant necessarily a call back within the next few days, or at all for that matter (in the case of these flaky girls). But even older women prefer plans to vagueness. Also, instead of waiting for her to call, you could've just said you'd try contacting her again and you could've done that using different media this time (say e-mail or text, if this is your preference).
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
This kind of message doesn't really give her a reason to want to call you back. Had you said something like, "I really enjoyed talking to you on Saturday and would like to take you to dinner (or insert other activity) this weekend. Give me a call and we can set something up."
Wow!
You two are giving this woman a loophole. If a person is truly interested, none of these extra requirements will matter. She would be happy he actually called her, and plans would be hashed out on her return call. What kind of world do we live in where we have to be a "salesman" just to get someone to call back who initiated further contact?
Based on what I read here, and see in life, more women are wondering why men "don't call" period. There's typically no mention of extra calling rules that allow her to be this rude. I say cdubs dodged a flaky girl, as sierraAZ defined her.
Regardless, it's common courtesy to at least return the call.
You two are giving this woman a loophole. If a person is truly interested, none of these extra requirements will matter. She would be happy he actually called her, and plans would be hashed out on her return call. What kind of world do we live in where we have to be a "salesman" just to get someone to call back who initiated further contact?
So, she should be so grateful that she got a vague and boring VM message? Something that wasn't flirty or proposing a date? Yes, you do have to be a salesman when you're trying to win someone over (man or woman.) Why should she call him back? Just because it's polite to return a phone call, or because he sounds interested in asking her out?
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