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Socially awkward people are often very honest people, so they might be great to have as trusted advisors and confidantes! They don't do pretense well, which can be off-putting in general social situations, but can make them very good people to have around.
Men are expected to be the initiators and the ones to make the first move. A man that's shy has crippled the dating process for himself Whereas a woman who is shy can still be approached and as long as she can mutter a "yes" for a reply, she's got a date.
I was reading a comment in another thread and it got me thinking.
If you were to take a geeky, socially awkward male and an equally geeky, socially awkward female, the socially awkward female would have a better social life and a better love life.
the socially awkward female would have a better social life and a better love life.
Why do you think this is
I often feel socially awkward around new people. I do have a great social life, however, and a non-existent love life. It really just depends on if I meet people in situations where I am in my element and there are only a few places I feel I am in my element.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Usually I see one awkward person with a take charge or social butterfly.
Usually they compliment each other.
He/she is quiet yet stable
The other is social but a tad radical which needs to be brought down a notch by the quiet man/woman.
My best friend and I are like this. He's more awkward than I and I am the one to take charge and make sure we are getting ourselves out there socially. But I do tend to have to reel him in, esp in group settings. He's great in small gatherings, however.
The socially awkward male is crippled in that guys are still expected to initiate. So, he would very rarely have women coming to him. Unless he's hot as hell. And the few women who do approach probably won't be of his interest.
The socially awkward female may get male attention. But it's gonna come from predators, or a lot of bad men who only want easy sex with whatever women will have them.
So the male will have limited chances, with no approaches, or approaches from women he doesn't like.
The female may have more chances with bad guys - either slobs / bums and/or players. The awkward female will probably get used and dumped more than the male.
Last edited by HappyRain; 01-28-2016 at 03:18 PM..
Men make women's social lives happen in most significant ways (in terms of starting a marriage, family, dating etc.) Men initiate all the significant experiences a woman has socially, and often times even careerwise. And even on the rare occasion where a woman initiates interaction with men they like, they lack the persistence and follow thru that men must have to be successful at dating. Women can give up easily because they know there will be another man who comes along and does all the heavy lifting as long as she is even remotely receptive to his advances. If a woman initiates interaction with a man, you had better reciprocate or show clear and overwhelming interest fairly quickly, as the window of opportunity that women give men to pick up the ball and run with it is very small; and the expectation IS that you pick up the ball from there and run with it and not continue to let her do the pursuing.
On the contrary with men, she can be shy or bashful or unreceptive to his advances all she wants, but until she labels him a complete creeper and or a threat, he's going to at least leave the door open to the possibility of romance with her, if not completely and relentlessly pursue her still. With women, if they do initiate romance with men, it's either subliminal and meek, or the affection is fleeting and short lived after they perceived that he hasn't picked up the baton to take it from there; because even in this new and progressive milineum, in her mind, as the woman she's done more than she even should have in the first place. So I would say a shy awkward man is basically done for, if he doesn't make something happen in his romantic life.
As a person that is socially awkward that happens to have a socially awkward sister. I think it's easier for guys who don't address their problems to fall through the cracks. I'm only speaking from my life experiences so take it as you will. It's rough on both in different ways.
My sister is attractive and had guys asking her out all the time in high school. she found one she could be herself around pretty quickly but she's still fearful in public places, around his family, basically anywhere but her family and people she grew up with. She never really had to improve that aspect of her life to find a relationship, but I still think she needs to work on it to be a happier person. She's scared to try anything new, even things she would love to do.
I was painfully shy and tried everything to get out of my shell, first I tried drinking/drugs which was a complete mess as you can imagine. Ha. I never really got addicted to anything but I did things that I'm not proud of, have some fun memories though. 4-5 years back after I started seeing progress in the gym and started to dress a little nicer I started talking to as many people as I could, it was awkward but I think it helped me a lot. I'm still terrified of what other people think of me but I deal it better and people can't really tell I'm shy anymore until they get to know me better. My life has improved a lot. I want the same for my sister.
Setting small goals like having a 2 conversations with strangers a day, talk to a cute girl about anything (not asking her out.. just chit chat) were huge milestones for me.
It sucks but you can't change the direction of the wind, there comes a time when you gotta adjust the sails =)
What are you basing that on? There are tons of socially awkward girls that can't get a date to save their lives.
A lot of guys would find that difficult to believe; the only plausible scenario they could imagine is a recluse who never gets out of the house.
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