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We're ticked off because "family" and kids are shoved down our throats on a daily basis. We can't walk into a store, movie theater, coffee shop or even in some cases a bar without hearing screaming, squealing children. We have to deal with everything being "family friendly." We have to put up with cliche after cliche about how "your life isn't complete until you have kids" and "it's all worth it" and other such trite nonsense. Nothing is geared toward the childfree -- especially not where I live, which is basically the "family" capital of the nation. Rural Minnesota. Kiddesota.
I would be happy not to talk about being childfree and just focus on other aspects of life, but I can't, because people -- including friends and family -- keep trying to convince me to want kids.
I just dont buy that. I live in the rural bible belt and have never witnessed anyone having family and children shoved down their throats. Actually, more the opposite. That is evident when young people are waiting much later to marry and even longer to have kids if at all. There are also more furthering their education and joining the military.
Well no crap, society accommodates children and family. Do you actually believe businesses should bar families, what about the elderly and handicapped? They are slow, smell bad and those darn wheelchairs and walkers get in the way. And those dang teenagers and yuppies with their loud talking cell phone conversations and constant texting and beeping one cant even do their shopping or go out to eat without being inconvenienced
If you are going to live in society you have to be tolerant of others. I find there are plenty of places and times that are geared toward singles. I don’t see the problem finding activities and places that are not child friendly. It seems to me that some of the “childfree” people who feel the need to band together and post threads and blogs about “breeders” and their brats are the ones with an entitlement attitude.
Ok I know I messed up in my last post about entitlement attitude parents, but this time it really is relationship related. As the title says, do most guys in their 20s want kids? Even if I'm young, I'm actually certain I don't want kids. I just don't have the maternal instinct. I am by no means a childhater, but I don't want the 24/7 responsibility. Plus I don't have patience for kids under age 5. So in the next few years, will I have trouble finding a Christian man who doesn't want kids?
I don't know about finding a man, but I do know I changed my mind when I found the right one for me. I didn't want that at all in my twenties. Being around someone who has a good family, good job, wants kids and is good with kids changed my mind. He is in his twenties but we don't plan on any kids until he would be in his 30s for financial reasons. He also wants a house for them instead of the condo/apt we are in.
I would not have medical procedures for sterilization until you are in your 30s. Your brain develops up until your late twenties at least. Part of that development that happens is the ability to have empathy and of course with a few years on you, you are going to be more patient. Its just really odd that I did the flip in myself which I would not of guessed at 19. I personally think having kids under 25 is just too much stress for anyone. You are still dealing with becoming an adult at that age. I think its a lot easier when all other adult stress becomes nothing to you and you are secure financially and emotionally with extra energy is the perfect time to have kids.
Yes, I think there should be childfree establishments -- at a minimum, restaurants, bars, coffee shops and music venues (of course, there can be family-friendly restaurants, etc. too). It would be nice to have childfree grocery stores and airline flights as well.
Yes, I think there should be childfree establishments -- at a minimum, restaurants, bars, coffee shops and music venues (of course, there can be family-friendly restaurants, etc. too). It would be nice to have childfree grocery stores and airline flights as well.
you think so too!? Finally someone who agrees! Most people think it's discrimination.
I'm 35 and pregnant with my first. I was childfree for 35 years. I'm older than you and have been childfree for longer. It was never an issue. When people asked me about children - I said I wasn't ready. It is nobody's decision but mine and my husband's. It isn't anyone else's business. I never cared what anyone else thought. I certainly wasn't going to have children before I was ready just to make other people happy. And I have lots of friends that are still childfree - some of whom plan on being childfree forever. Like I said, it's really not an issue here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by northstar22
I just want to clarify something -- no offense intended. "Childfree" does not mean "doesn't have kids yet." Childfree means NEVER wanting kids. If you were childless for 35 years, but wanted kids eventually, you were never childfree. A childfree person NEVER, EVER, under ANY circumstances, wants children.
The thing is people do often change their minds. As dewdrop said, all people are childfree until they have kids. I work with a couple who never never never wanted children. Actually the mother never liked kids at all. They had one last year at age 42 and 39. My son is in his mid 20's and dosent have kids, dosnt ever want kids, I dont call him childfree, I call him smart.LOL. He is not childfree. He has a relationship with his nephews and his friends kids. He dosent call people breeders and dosent complain that there are kids in Wal-Mart. He has just made the choice not to have any children. And you know what people dont really give a rats hariy behind if he or your or the op ever have kids.
As I said I live in the rural bible belt. A town of population 2500 and a church on every corner. Most people in their 20's are not even thinking of marriage and children anymore so being mid 20's with no children is not a minority. Of course the majority of people have families. Heck you are part of a family, your someones child arent you.
Yes, I think there should be childfree establishments -- at a minimum, restaurants, bars, coffee shops and music venues (of course, there can be family-friendly restaurants, etc. too). It would be nice to have childfree grocery stores and airline flights as well.
There are places that are geared towards kids and places geared towards adults. Dont go to McDonalds or chucky cheese if you dont want to be around kids. Go out at a time that is not kid friendly. There really arent many kids in bars unless they are a food establishment also and normally after 8:00 kids are out of there. I cant say Ive seen any kids in coffee shops. All you need to do is go to adult establishments.
As a business owner, would you really not allow families that spend more on food, especially when the kids are shopping with them, shop at your business? Not to smart. Most groceries are open late if not all night. Do you shopping at a time families would be home putting the kids to bed.
Obviously rural Tennessee is not like rural Minnesota. This area is very traditional and still very family-centered. People really DO bring their kids to bars, restaurants and coffee shops. I'm not imagining it.
Yes, I go to the grocery store at midnight to avoid kids . . . and there is ALWAYS still at least one screaming baby. And yes, I frequent adult-oriented establishments -- restaurants, coffee shops, music venues, nature parks, bars. I would NEVER darken the door of a Chuck-E-Cheese (I'd prefer a torture chamber). Airlines NEED childfree flights. It is horrible to be stuck on a plane for four hours with a kid screaming or kicking your seat.
Not every who doesn't have kids is truly childfree. Many people who are truly childfree cannot stand children. If someone "changes their mind" and has a kid, it's doubtful that they were ever childfree to begin with.
As for breeders . . . . all breeders are parents, but not every parent is a breeder. A breeder is a BAD parent who doesn't take care of their child and is inconsiderate of those around them.
Didn't want kids when I was in my 20's. Now in my 30's I still don't want them. It might be that I'm just never around them. All of my friends are either single or married with no kids like me.
So, basically, people who bring their families to public places where they have every right to be are, by virtue of deigning to do so, "shoving their lifestyles down your throats?" Interesting.
As for breeders . . . . all breeders are parents, but not every parent is a breeder. A breeder is a BAD parent who doesn't take care of their child and is inconsiderate of those around them.
Still, though, nobody's really explained what qualifies an outsider to make the judgment call on what type of parent somebody is, and whether or not they take care of their children. Even the "inconsiderate" issue is tricky, because of comments I've read so far that note that merely expecting somebody to tolerate the presence of a child at all in public is the height of inconsiderate behavior. So I'm skeptical that such a person's definition of what constitutes "inconsiderate" is something that really holds much water.
Any way you cut it, you're making a judgment call, all the while being insulted at the judgment calls you perceive others to be making about you.
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